Screen Junkies » Pretty Woman http://www.screenjunkies.com Movie Reviews & TV Show Reviews Fri, 19 Sep 2014 21:04:14 +0000 en hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 Oh, Good. ‘Pretty Woman’ Is Heading To Broadway http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/oh-good-pretty-woman-is-heading-to-broadway/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/oh-good-pretty-woman-is-heading-to-broadway/#comments Thu, 13 Mar 2014 15:39:10 +0000 Penn Collins http://www.screenjunkies.com/?p=260179 Do the people who greenlight musicals and theme park rides live 20 years in the past?

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Musical theater is so weird. I don’t think a computer program could randomly pick properties to convert to musicals as well as Broadway can. Green Day’s 2004 album? Let’s do a musical a decade later. Spider-man? Get U2. And let’s make it dangerous.

The weirdness continues with Pretty Woman, a 24 year-old romantic comedy about a whore and a rich guy that hires whores. To balance out the whorishness, there’s polo, and hotel suites and champagne, so it’s not unwholesome. Anyway, director Garry Marshall has been trying to get this thing turned into a musical since 2001, but hasn’t had a lot of luck.

Marshall will be working with the original screenwriter and will probably include an 11-minute dance number surrounding the diamond necklace she wears.

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Al Pacino Passed On Playing Han Solo And John McClane In ‘Die Hard’ http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/al-pacino-passed-on-playing-han-solo-and-john-mcclane-in-die-hard/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/al-pacino-passed-on-playing-han-solo-and-john-mcclane-in-die-hard/#comments Wed, 05 Jun 2013 08:49:43 +0000 Penn Collins http://www.screenjunkies.com/?p=255209 According to Al Pacino.

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If you’re ever upset that two of the most iconic roles in the past 35 years of cinema didn’t carry with them a cartoonish intensity that seems to come from nowhere, take your issues up with Al Pacino.

At a London event, Pacino, speaking to a crowd, let the world know that he passed on some pretty famous leading roles, including Richard Gere’s part in Pretty Woman (he would have snapped the necklace box on Julia’s fingers down so hard her fingers would snap and bleed, prompting Pacino to scream, “Don’t fuck me….EVER AGAIN!”) and those of Han Solo in Star Wars (which ultimately went to Ricardo Montalban), and John McClane in Die Hard (also Montalban, I believe).

But he DID take the role in Jack and Jill where he plays himself, so lest anyone be critical about his career choices early or later on…don’t.

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The 7 Skankiest Hookers In Film and Television http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-lists/the-7-skankiest-hookers-in-film-and-television/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-lists/the-7-skankiest-hookers-in-film-and-television/#comments Thu, 26 Apr 2012 15:40:33 +0000 Penn Collins http://www.screenjunkies.com/?p=248274 Not too skanky for the Secret Service, though.

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Hookers are, thankfully, back in the news again after the men tasked with protecting the life of the President of the United States have been accused of consorting with and hiring Colombian prostitutes. While Colombian women certainly raise the bar for beauty, I’m guessing that Colombian hookers probably raise the bar for some other, less-desirable attributes, even by hooker standards.

This whole Secret Service fiasco got me thinking about the grossest hookers depicted in film. Granted, the hookers (both men and women) can still be attractive, but something about them goes above and beyond regular hooker-ish grossness into a new level. Read on and you’ll see what I’m talking about.

Vivian – Pretty Woman

Vivian winds up looking a lot like Julia Roberts towards the end of the film. However, the silver wig, slutty dress, and boots in the front half don’t do much to endear me to her. In fact, she’s a very stereotypical hooker, and stereotypical hookers are gross. It looks as though some light plastic surgery and micro dermabrasion were needed to get to where she ended up.

Unfortunately, you can’t put makeup on cold sores. Well, you can, but it won’t hide them.

Wendy – Breaking Bad

Say what you want about the resident Albuquerque whore in Breaking Bad, but at least she owns her title. She’s a crack whore (or a meth whore) in every sense of the word. She brings virtual no sexuality to her job, which is probably what allows her to be so prolific at it. She’s the anti-Pretty Woman. She’s Ugly Woman, and she’s never going to fall in love with a “client.” Rather, if you tried to kiss her, she wouldn’t tell you about her no kissing rule. She’d probably just clock you in the teeth with a bottle.

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