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I’d expect this from Jim’s Dad, but not you Fred Willard.
If you came here looking for police porn, I have some bad news.
“Grandpa, where were you the day the porno stopped?”
‘Clambake’? Sounds kinky!
Since porno and adorable kittens are the Internet’s chief exports, it was only a matter of time before a Tron: Legacy XXX porn parody rezzed into the real world. We’ll keep you posted when an all-kitten parody appears.
Understatement of the Century: we love watching porn! But we also like movies made by semi-professional filmmakers that operate within the non-porn Hollywood system. When these two elements come together, it can make for a pretty satisfying cinematic experience. From The 40-Year-Old Virgin to 8MM, porn has long been referenced or addressed in mainstream films, but it is particularly sweet when the filmmakers take the next step and make up a fake porn movie. Some are actually filmed and shown on screen, while others are there in dialogue only — but it’s all great. Check out a few of our favorite fake nudie flicks.
No shoes on the couch please. Here's a sexier, red bandier look at George Gallo's Middle Men. I'm guessing this trailer exists for anyone skeptical that the movie would feature F-bombs and boobies. Upon reviewing this footage, I can say it most certainly does. As well as some housewives with bigger things on their minds than light dusting. And perhaps hottest of all, Kevin… Pollak… FAPPING. Now that I've piqued your desire to a fever pitch, I won't waste anymore of your time with words. ON TO THE SWEET, SWEET IMAGES AFTER THE JUMP…
We're through the looking glass here, people. Hustler has announced that their upcoming sexxed-up take on Avatar, entitled This Ain't Avatar XXX will be jamming more than ponytails into orifices in pants-swelling 3D. Though it's not the world's first porno (that distinction belongs to Octopussy 3D: A XXX Parody and Whorrie Potter and the Sorcerer's Balls), it will be Hustler's most expensive.This idea scares the crap out of me. I really don't want to be naked except for a pair of 3D glasses. That's a rule that I've set for my life and one that I don't intend to break. It's on my bucket list of things not to do. And what would happen if you cross your eyes while wearing those things?!! I don't know and don't want to know!! (Huffington Post)
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We're through the looking glass here, people. Caligula director Tinto Brass has announced that due to Avatar, the technology now exists to film a Cleveland Steamer in stereoscopic 3D.The Italian erotic director plans to "revisit an abandoned project about a Roman emperor that was ruined by Americans, and go from there." It's obvious that Brass has sour grapes (hehe) with his Caligula partners, who added hardcore sex scenes without his consent to the famously terrible film. The movie was so bad in fact, that Roger Ebert referred to it as "sickening, utterly worthless, shameful trash," and "the worst piece of sh*t I've ever masturbated to." Just because we have the ability, doesn't necessarily mean that we should use it. As technology burgeons, this debate will continue and deserves considerable thought. We need to be careful how we move forward as a society with cloning, stem cells, nuclear weapons, and the illusion that a vagina is squirting directly at you. (THR)
Like Dexter and Paranormal Activity before it, Jersey Shore will be given the porn treatment. To clarify, Jersey Shore the program is being given the porn treatment, not the cast. The Jersey Shore castmembers are not in any pornos (yet). Zero Tolerance Entertainment has announced via the NSFW Popporn that they plan to artistically birth a porn parody of the MTV reality hit. Jersey Whores will be written and directed by Spock Buckton and Brian Bangs with Mike Quasar pointing a camera (and his penis) at it.I'm confused. Up until ten minutes ago I assumed Jersey Shore WAS a porno. Just one with an irritatingly slow build. Guess I'll pull my pants back on now. (via Warming Glow)
By Roger Ebert*There is an ugly scene in Squirt In My Gape 3 that I want to tell you about. A young woman played by Bobbi Star has just had her gaping anus filled with both male and female ejaculate. We see the girl, pretty yet exhausted, contorting her body in such away as to avoid spilling the fluids. The cameraman moves in to give the audience the requisite close-up of the genetic ooze she is holding ever so precariously.?? We expect the scene to end, but it does not. The audience is left waiting for what seems like an eternity. Then, without warning, a bubble begins to form.