As for the cast and crew, everyone we encountered was courteous and professional, and the actresses themselves (Chanel Preston, Gracie Glam, and Dani Daniels) were really, really hot. In fact, the only thing “creepy” about the entire visit was the pathetic sight of the bloggers (ourselves included) who had come to gawk at the girls. And let me tell you, there’s something very special about being the creepiest part of a porn set.

While our visit defied expectations many ways, there were a few things that went exactly how they were supposed to. Specifically, the random quotes we overheard were exactly what you’d expect to hear on a porn set. They were also hilarious. Here are five of them, in no particular order.

I’m not having sex today. I’m just here for the fight scene.

- Lee Stone

If Lara Croft can fight aliens, I’m sure she can f*ck two girls at the same time. Wait, does she fight aliens?

(Stage Hand) No, she raids tombs.

Oh, right.

- Chanel Preston

I don’t know. Sometimes tribing is fun.

- Chanel Preston

Can I put my clothes back on, now?

- Gracie Glam or Dani Daniels (They were both wearing veils)

Can I please have a baby wipe?

- Gracie Glam or Dani Daniels (They were both wearing veils)

Photo Credit: G4

Are we certain that there is any sex in this movie? Maybe we’re confused and XXX means bad effects and direction. If so, Van Helsing was erroneously rated. (Topless Robot)

I’m not sure a lot of 18-to-25-year-old guys (OK, let’s be honest, 12-to-25-year-old guys) even know about The Honeymooners, which calls into question why anyone would parody it. But that fact aside, at least The Honeymooners lends itself to a funny name, and that’s all a successful porn parody really needs! Well, that and some hot chicks, I suppose. This film even works in a porn parody of a classic 50′s game show (The $69,000 question). Now that’s dedication.

In “The Honeymoaners,” Ralph Kramden, everybody’s favorite loveable loser, finally gets his chance to change his luck as a contestant on the television quiz show, “The $69,000 Question.” After overhearing the category of questions to test his knowledge, Ralph turns to his best friend Norton to teach him everything he knows about SEX! Together the boisterous big guy and sex-witted sidekick study their local horny hookers, slutty neighbor, and even their wild wives, Alice and Trixie. Ralph may finally hit the jackpot… or he may be left holding his own buzzer.

I can’t believe they didn’t make a “pow, right the kisser joke,” but I guess Family Guy beat them to it.

Was there really a niche to fill here? Were porn fans clamoring for a parody of a movie that came out in 1967? This film is so old, that its sexy leading lady, Anne Bancroft, has already been dead for six years. Granted, your average porn actress dies within six years of her first film, so maybe this fact was lost on the producers. But even so, what’s the point? The name doesn’t even lend itself to a double entendre! Why does this exist? Oh well. Since you made it, I might as well fap to it. I guess it’d be rude not to.

With that in mind, here are nine Elvis Presley films that sound like they could be porno.

Easy Come, Easy Go- 1967

The title for this film is almost too easy. Throw in the fact that the plot involves a go-go dancing yoga instructor and songs titled “Yoga Is as Yoga Does” and “The Love Machine,” and it’s hard to beleive it’s not a porno.

I’ll take links for $100 and also some shame:

The Top-Five Candidates for an EGOT (MovieLine)

How Not to Drink Flaming Everclear (BarstoolSports)

Holy Taco’s Guide to Sexting (HolyTaco)

Someone Made a Three-Hour Resevoir Dogs Porno (FilmDrunk)

Cameron Diaz is Super Ripped (CelebJihad)

Alice In Wonderland Demonstrates Drug Use (Unreality)

10 Movies The Oscars Made Famous (MovieFone)

The Most Uncomfortable Talk Show Moments (PopEater)

Seven Reasons Why a Pet Monkey is a Horrible Idea (Smosh)

The 13 Hottest Wonder Woman Costumes In Pop Culture History (Ranker)

150 of the Greatest Movie Lines and Catchphrases (BroBible)

Meet the New Wonder Woman (Maxim)

Celebrities You Had No Idea Were Married/Kind-of-Married (Pajiba)

Nine Reasons to Watch the Oscars (NextMovie)

Rico Rodriguez On Why the UFC Won’t Have Him Back (CagePotato)

2011 Oscars Cheat Sheet (MadeMan)

Dead Island Trailer Parodies (GameFront)

Raiden is a Terrible Roommate (TuVez)

Since porno and adorable kittens are the Internet’s chief exports, it was only a matter of time before a Tron: Legacy XXX porn parody rezzed into the real world. We’ll keep you posted when an all-kitten parody appears.

As you can see pictured above, Zoe Voss is slipping into the leather bodysuit to fill the Olivia Wilde role. And Anthony Rosano has been cast to fill Zoe Voss. There’s no video yet, but I felt the need to report that this exists. Mostly because of the awesome title, Pron. I’m really happy they didn’t go the other route and name it Torn. Save that for Serbian porno. (Bleeding Cool)

This doesn’t need much set up. It’s the trailer for Axel Braun’s This Ain’ Avatar XXX 3D porn parody. It doesn’t show anything explicit, but you can probably guess how the blue creatures in it connect. Hint: penis and vagina. (i09)

Connect with these links.

_{Don’t Forget Zach Galifianakis’ Awesome TV Work (TVSquad)}

_{The Vacuum Bed–Is It Porn? (Asylum)}

_{7 Most Annoying Kids In Movie History (Ranker)}

_{25 Extreme War Machines (HolyTaco)}

_{Will Armond White Ruin Social Network‘s 100% Rotten Tomatoes Score? (FilmDrunk)}

_{September 28th, 2010: The Official Day Music Died (Maxim)}

_{Guess That Ass (BarStoolSports)}

_{10 Celebrities That No Longer Look Human (EgoTV)}

_{The Ten Best Clint Howards (Pajiba)}

_{A House Divided Among Spiderman (Unreality)}

_{Ready For Prime Time? 9 Of The Best SNL Athlete Hosts (TotalProSports)}

_{The Deadly Segway (Smosh)}

_{Beer And Celebrity Boobs: Hayden Panettiere At Oktoberfest (BroBible)}

_{Selena Gomez Mocks Asians And The Mentally Handicapped (CelebJihad)}

_{UFC 119 Photo Gallery: Part 2 (CagePotato)}

_{Emma Stone Is Not The New Lindsay Lohan (PopEater)}

_{Fashion Of ‘Wall Street‘ Sequel (MadeMan)}

As if the The Human Centipede isn’t a sick enough concept, now there’s a porn parody. The Human Sexipede is sure to be jam packed with ATM that the captive test subjects will think is icky at first, but then totally embrace. The final line from the mad scientist in the trailer really sums up the entire production. If any of you guys see the full movie let me know how it is. I’m going to stand by the fact I haven’t already watched it ten times today.

Check out The Human Sexipede trailer after the jump…

‘The Human Sexipede’ Porn Parody of ‘Human Centipede’ – Watch more horror

What has six arms, six legs, and a whole lot of chlamydia? The Human Sex-ipede. Yes, they’re making a porn parody of the European shock-horror film, The Human Centipede.

For those of you unfamiliar with the film, The Human Centipede is about an insane German doctor who sews people together, anus to mouth. With an ATM fan base already built in, the porn parody was the next logical step, according to famed porn parody director Lee Roy Myers.

"I thought, ‘you know what, this is the perfect concept to base a parody around,’" Myers said. "Anything putting human faces that close to genitals deserves the porn treatment."

There is nothing I could possibly add to that statement. (Movie Line)

I never saw the first "X-Files" porn parody, but after watching the trailer for the preque I am damn excited to jump on this sexy conspiracy train to the truth/money shot. "The Sex Files 2: A Dark XXX Porn Parody" looks better than any episode of "The Mentalist" I’ve caught while flipping through stations. The trailer doesn’t even show any sex, just the inbetween parts. The moody lighting, the mystery, the action, the goo — it’s all there. I’m going out a limb by saying this, but once boobs are added this could be the best sci-fi conspiracy alien TV show porn parody ever.

Check out the trailer below.

The Sex Files 2 Porn Parody Trailer – Watch more Funny Videos

(CinemaBlend)

"Reno 911" stars Thomas Lennon and Ben Garant took the time to sit down and review the porn parody of their popular Comedy Central show. Their ultimate conclusion is there’s a lot more stuff in the XXX version that you can masturbate to. I hadn’t ever seen the "Reno 911" porn before, so I was surprised at how well Sexy Dangle impersonates (Not Sexy?) Dangle. It’s like he’s really trying, which is both commendable and sad. Maybe the day will come when not all of his sketches end in a c*m shot.  

Check out the video review after the jump.

We’re through the looking glass here, people. Hustler has announced that their upcoming sexxed-up take on Avatar, entitled This Ain’ Avatar XXX will be jamming more than ponytails into orifices in pants-swelling 3D. Though it’s not the world’s first porno (that distinction belongs to Octopussy 3D: A XXX Parody and Whorrie Potter and the Sorcerer’s Balls), it will be Hustler’s most expensive.

This idea scares the crap out of me. I really don’t want to be naked except for a pair of 3D glasses. That’s a rule that I’ve set for my life and one that I don’t intend to break. It’s on my bucket list of things not to do. And what would happen if you cross your eyes while wearing those things?!! I don’t know and don’t want to know!! (Huffington Post)

I’m going to continue posting these porn parody trailers because I personally find it amusing when nasty sex gets shoehorned into anything, especially movies and TV shows that don’t deserve such acts being forced on them. I wouldn’t be so bold as to call these porn parodies "the rape of western media" but if major outlets pick up the term I want proper credit.

Having said all that, New Sensations added boobies and stuff to The Breakfast Club! Imagine all of the confessions about parental abuse in the original film replaced with sexual innuendos. So basically, they stole our entire schtick at Screen Junkies. **Represses deep-seated emotions. Plasters on fake smile**

Check out the porn parody trailer after the jump. Fingers crossed for the single "Don’t You Forget About Missionary" in the full length movie.

The Breakfast Club Porn Parody Trailer – Watch more Funny Videos

(Vulture)

Yes, they made it, okay? They made a porn parody of "The Golden Girls," that show about four old women, three of which have passed, and the other who the Internet won’t leave alone. You all walk around with your heads held high like you’re sooooooo superior and don’t have a GILF fetish. Now if it were called "Golden Shower Girls" I’d understand why you wouldn’t want to watch. Except for the sickos, of course. Not that there’s anything wrong with watching old women get peed on. No, I take that back. This may bite me in the ass when I run for political office, but I stand by the belief that it IS wrong to watch old women get peed on. Unless they’re dead.

Roll the footage!

Golden Girls Porn Parody – Watch more Funny Videos

Doesn’t the above image make you want to watch a porno? Apparently the Batman XXX Porno Parody succeeds by frightening the arousal into you. I bet you like that, don’t you, sicko? We’ve seen adult entertainment parodies of The Big Lebowski, "Curb Your Enthusiasm," and "Dexter," and out of all of them I’d say Batman is at the bottom of my list of porns I have a mild curiosity in stealing from my dad.

The "film" is directed by Alex Braun and distributed by Vivid. Take a gander at the second trailer for the Batman Porn Parody below. **Spinning dildo flies at screen, transitioning us to the next scene**

(BleedingCool)

It boggles my mind that anyone would willing choose to watch a porn parody of "Curb Your Enthusiam." There isn’t one character on that show that I would enjoy seeing naked. Alright maybe Cheryl, but I certainly haven’t been itching to see her tossed into and tossed in a hardcore storyline. And then there’s Larry David. I like to pretend that man’s clothes never come off. In my mind, he’s a never-nude.

Hustler Video has a difference of opinion. They’ve been a roll producing porn parody after porn parody, and the big wheel landed on "Curb" next. I have to admit, the trailer does capture the neurotic ranting of Larry David and the absurdily mundane, or mundanely absurd, situations he always seems to step in. Check out the trailer for yourself below, and let me know if you’re happy with the SFW footage, or you want to see an awkward penetration mishap that spirals out of control.

(Videogum)

No surprise here, but they made a "True Blood" porn parody entitled Tru: An XXX Parody. It’s a shame porn trailers aren’t allowed to show any porn. In my opinion, it’s the best part of these adult films everyone keeps fapping about. Watching the above video without kinky sex is like watching a Jane Campion film without kinky sex. All your left with is blood and bruised women. (FilmDrunk)

It made sense to produce a porn parody of box office juggernaut Avatar and television sensations "Dexter" and "The Jersey Shore", but I can’t say that The Big Lebowski deserves the same NSFW treatment. Never ever never not even once during a viewing of the Cohe Brothers film have I thought a cut to rough penetration was mysteriously absent. But hell, give the people what they want, and apparently the people want The Dude naked. I just thank my lucky stars they found someone to replace Tara Reid. No one needs to see that Frankenstein body floppin’ around.

For those of us not counting back end points, this is way cooler than syndication…  

The official press release, courtesy of the very NSFW news publication Porn Valley News (which we can’t even link to because it’s so dirty), reads:

CHATSWORTH, CA — PURE PLAY MEDIA presents Dexxxter. Pink Lotus’s new parody of Showtime’s hit series, Dexter. Fans of the hit series are sure to love this Dexxxter — teaming with a delicious dose of sexed-up beauties Nikki Rhodes, Lexi Belle, McKenzie Sweets, Kya Tropic and Lynx on the scene and solving the dirtiest of crimes.

^{(Above: Rhodes, Belle, Tropic)}

Dexxxter is available now, Direct To Retailers only. For sales and distribution inquiries contact: Sales@PurePlayMedia.com.

“Pink Lotus Entertainment’s put together another fantastic parody. I recommend everyone who loves the Dexter series get Dexxxter—it’s sure to add a whole new allure to crime and punishment. Nikki Rhodes is perfect as a very sexy, feminine Dexxxter,” says PURE PLAY MEDIA CEO, Richard Arnold.

Join sex crime investigator, Dexxxter Whoregan (Nikki Rhodes) as she investigates some of Miami’s sexiest and raunchiest cases. Adult stars Lexi Belle, McKenzie Sweets, Kya Tropic, Lynx and more perform in some steamy scenes in this parody on the Showtime hit, Dexter. Fans of the original show will appreciate the attention to detail, and hardcore porn lovers will surely get off on this hot feature!

PURE PLAY MEDIA offers the best in product and price-point Direct To Retail, featuring a special studio or niche every month. To learn more on this and the many coming promotions retailers should contact a Pure Play Media representative at: sales@pureplaymedia.com

To enjoy Pure Play Media’s full library of titles log on to: www.pureplaymedia.com

About PURE PLAY MEDIA: Pure Play Media distributes for the best and most varied studios in the adult industry. PURE PLAY MEDIA has created an environment that fosters the creative talents of their many clients while handling day-to-day promotion and distribution. PPM has assembled a professional team that takes care of the business end of things so their incredibly talented roster of filmmakers can do what they do best. This unique combination of business acumen and creative freedom has resulted in a business that delivers customers high-quality product and the service they demand.

PPM’s roster includes such top names as: the SCORE Group with their top heavy hotties, Private Media Group, Europe’s largest adult film company, the most well known and popular amateur product, Homegrown Video, online powerhouses, Naughty America and gay division Suite 703, Silver Sinema and Hundies, Asia roaming producer Asia Bootleg, publishing giant, Swank Digital, photographic icon, Suze Randall, Gonzo pioneer, Seymore Butts (and Cousin Stevie), Pink Moon, Liquid London, the edgy HellHouse, with the latest additions, Pink Lotus, Edward James Studio, Video. X. Pix and Immoral Productions. PPM is able to provide consumers a wide variety of high-quality adult entertainment by filling their roster with the best in numerous genres for over five years, with plenty more to come. 

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