As confusing and needless as this crime seems, perhaps it wasn’t a miscommunication or random chance. Perhaps the officer knew full well who he was attacking and was actually upholding justice… Canadian Justice.

Here are seven potential reasons DJ Qualls may have got his ass beat.

The Cop Also Auditioned For Supernatural

Qualls claims that the officer who beat him repeatedly asked, “You think you’re f***ing better than me?” This leads me to surmise that the officer is also an aspiring actor who has grown jaded and disillusioned by the audition process. He’d probably read for the part on the CW‘s Supernatural and thought he had it in the bag. Then Mr. Hustle & Flow swooped in using his past credits to steal the role out from underneath him.

He Was Mistaken For Joel David Moore

It’s a little known fact, but Joel David Moore actually has 47 warrants out for his arrest in Canada. This all stemmed from an incident at a Toronto Maple Leafs’ game in 2009 where he wouldn’t offer his seat to Dave Foley. I’m told there’s also a hefty reward.

One of E.L.’s Schemes Backfired

E.L. and the guys certainly seem like they know what they’re talking about but then again, they’re only college students. How did they get to become experts? Actually, E.L.’s track record is pretty spotty. Wasn’t it enough when he blew up DJ Qualls’ car? And it’s not the first time he’s caused a fight to break out. Whatever he did to anger the Canadian Mounties must be pretty extreme to prompt a beating like this.