John Lithgow is a Damn Dirty Ape
Wednesday, June 23 by

They finally made a monkey out of ol' John Lithgow. Empire Online is reporting that the actor has been confirmed for the upcoming Planet of the Apes prequel, Rise of the Apes. The film costars James Franco and Frida Pinto.Despite the misleading headline and hackneyed primate references, Lithgow will not be playing an ape. Instead, he has landed the roll of the protagonist's Alzheimer's stricken father, which is a lot like playing an ape, since both apes and Alzheimer's patients have been known to throw feces. You think I'm making a crass joke, but I'm serious. I saw it first hand with my uncle Bobo.

Get Your Stinking Paws Off James Franco You Damn Dirty Apes
Friday, May 21 by

Collider is reporting that James Franco has signed on for Rise of the Apes, the upcoming prequel in the Planet of the Apes franchise. Franco is slated to play a scientist who, while working on a cure for Alzheimer's, befriends one of the test chimps known as Caesar. Caesar begins to learn at an astounding rate after being injected with a new anti-Alzheimer's drug. Franco's character takes pity on the intelligent creature, and informally adopts the animal in order to keep it safe. Big mistake.While it's far too early to judge the film, it has been reported that all of the apes will be the product of CGI rather than the traditional makeup and costumes worn in previous Ape films. And while I can't be certain, it would seem that this reboot pisses all over the grave of Ricardo Montalban by eliminating his character and altering the ape origin story. If Montalban was still alive, I'm pretty sure he'd protest by flinging his poo at James Franco. But he can't because he's dead, so I guess it really doesn't matter.Rise of the Apes hits theaters on June 24, 2011, baring some sort of monkey Apocalypse.