Germany‘s acceptance of causal nudity almost makes up for World War I and II, but will never make up for Uwe Boll.
Sharks, piranha's and mutants all terrorize bodies of water in the 5 best killer fish movies. All the movies start the same, with a peaceful atmosphere before killer fish suddenly…
Piranha 3D is a movie of the people. Especially people who have always wanted to see Jerry O'Connell have his wiener bitten off (you know who you are). Producers of the inevitable sequel want to stay in the good graces of the fans, so they are making Piranha 3D: Part Two an interactive movie.
That's right! You, Joe Q. Public, can decide which celebrity will be cast to meet a gory demise in the next film. There's no info yet on how to vote, so I'm going to walk out into Times Square and begin shouting "Gary Busey!!" If I do that long enough, two things may happen: 1) producers will receive my vote, 2) the real Gary Busey will show up before me. He's like a "Bewitched" character in that way. (NY Post)
Claiming dominion over all things aquatic or 3D, James Cameron went all king of the world on Piranha 3D last week, and now the film's producer Mark Canton (who looks like what would happen if Phil Spector banged Albert Brooks) is showing his teeth in response. And he raises a few damn good points! Though, they are lengthy points. Here's just a few favorites, but I encourage you to check out the entire response after jump. Go on wit yo' bad self, Mark Canton:
“Mr. Cameron, who singles himself out to be a visionary of movie-making, seems to have a small vision regarding any motion pictures that are not his own. It is amazing that in the movie-making process – which is certainly a team sport – that Cameron consistently celebrates himself out as though he is a team of one. His comments are ridiculous, self-serving and insulting to those of us who are not caught up in serving his ego and his rhetoric."
"Shame on you for thinking that genre movies and the real maestros like Roger Corman and his collaborators are any less auteur or impactful in the history of cinema than you. Martin Scorcese made Boxcar Bertha at the beginning of his career. And Francis Ford Coppola made Dimentia [sic] 13 back in 1963. And those are just a few examples of the talented and successful filmmakers whose roots are in genre films. Who are you to impugn any genre film or its creators?"
And now… fighting words:
“Jim, are you kidding or what? First of all, let’s start by you accepting the fact that you were the original director of PIRANHA 2 and you were fired."
(Runs around in exaggerated circle playfully slapping own face a la early Martin Lawrence)
No. He. Didn't. Don't MAKE a James Cameron take off his earrings!!
Full letter after the jump…
Hey, everybody! James Cameron has something important to say about the dangers of using 3D technology in an inappropriate manner, so listen up!
I tend almost never to throw other films under the bus, but (Piranha 3D) is exactly an example of what we should not be doing in 3-D. Because it just cheapens the medium and reminds you of the bad 3-D horror films from the 70s and 80s, like Friday the 13th 3-D. When movies got to the bottom of the barrel of their creativity and at the last gasp of their financial lifespan, they did a 3-D version to get the last few drops of blood out of the turnip.
First of all, comparing Piranha 3D to Friday the 13th Part III is like comparing Kim Kardashian to the cast of "The View." Both are incredibly stupid, but one is still fun to watch if you're in the mood (for porn). Piranha 3D knew what it was supposed to be, and it hit the mark. Critics agree, and its Rotten Tomatoes ranking rivals that of Avatar (not that the two movies should be compared). Why should a film that is meant to be nothing more than a fun, summer gore-fest be excluded from using 3D technology? Not every 3D film needs to be a smug, ham-fisted retread of Dances with Wolves.
Second, if you want to talk about squeezing blood from a turnip, how about Avatar Special Edition, which is charging fans roughly $15 dollars to see a movie that was still in theaters less than a year ago. Oh, let's not forget the eight minutes of extra footage, which comes out to about $2 per new minute. At the end of the day, if people want to pay $15 to see Avatar again, good for Cameron. But if those same people want to pay to see fish dismembering topless girls, who is he to judge? (Vanity Fair via Movie Line)
Good news for people who like breasts and carnivorous fish! A sequel for Piranha 3D is officially in the works.
Despite a slower than expected start at the box office, the film did fairly well when considering its budget was only $30 million. Couple that with an overwhelmingly positive critical reception, and it's easy to see why the Weinsteins and Co. signed off another installment.
Since the fourth dimension is time, I'm assuming Piranha 4D will involve the piranhas taking control of some sort of water-based time machine and traveling back to the Old West. Unless, of course, they end up naming it Piranha 3D Part 2, which would just be stupid. (Cinema Blend)
Gianna Michaels, like many hard working adult film stars, came from the fast food industry before being discovered for her natural talents. They have led her to several adult industry awards and a small part in Piranha 3D, where she is eaten by the carnivorous fish while parasailing nude, of course.
A word from Gianna: "I worked at a hamburger joint up in Seattle called Dick's."
I won't comment on the irony.
More pics of Gianna after the jump…
Adam Scott is so certain that you'll like his new film Piranha 3D that if you don't, he'll personally come over to your house and act out his scenes for you and yours friends. At least, that's what he tweeted yesterday. Today, he laid out the stipulations for Vanity Fair, which I'm betting most of you would willingly abide by for his visit:
“Few things: Will need the aforementioned firearm and fish. Will also need local Elisabeth Shue look-alike to run dialogue with, a plaid shirt, two high-fives (one before we run the scenes, one after), peanut M&M’s, a map with the closest Red Roof Inn circled on it (I won’t be staying there, I just like knowing where it is. I’ll be staying with you), a 700-word essay on why you neglected to recognize that Piranha 3D totally f**king shreds, Perrier, a quick guitar lesson, one grenade, dinner with your family, and directions to the airport.”
The only request I have a problem with is the 700-word essay. If there's one thing I can't stand in this world, it's mandated writing. When I put fingertips to keyboard it's on my own terms, Scott. (Movieline)
Riley Steele, a current popular star in the porn biz, makes her official big screen debut with Piranha 3D. From nude underwater swimming with Kelly Brook and making out with Jessica Szohr, the movie puts her adult entertainment assets to good use.
A word from Riley: "What matters most is how you see yourself."
Naked or clothed? Because there's a world of difference.
More pics of Riley after the jump…
Piranha 3D R, 82m., 2010 Cast: Elisabeth Shue, Adam Scott, Ving Rhames, Jerry O’Connell, Steve R. McQueen, Kelly Brook, Jessica Szohr Paul Sheer with Christopher Lloyd and Richard Dryfuss Directed…
Jessica Szohr hails from "Gossip Girl." She shows off her talents there alongside Blake Lively, and in the upcoming Piranha 3D. While not the best material for an up-and-comer, they do highlight her well-mixed beauty and overdone appeal of consumerism gone mad.
A word from Jessica: "When I have a craving for something, I just can't hold myself back."
So you should be very understanding of the fish in the film you're currently starring in.
More pics of Jessica after the jump…
Ashlynn Brooke is the "Queen Of The XXX Porn Parodies." From 30 Rock: A XXX Parody to Seinfeld: A XXX Parody, she has done them all in the last 5 years. While not taking one for the XXX team, she'll be popping up her talents in Piranha 3D this week as the fitfully suite "Cheerleader" character, nude in 3D, of course.
A word from Ashlynn: "I love my job and I love to please people."
It's very rare that a person loves their job. Do it until it hurts.
More pics of Ashlynn after the jump…
This feels like a formality, but some of the stars of the upcoming Piranha 3D felt it necessary to create a For Your Consideration video to drum up Oscar support. In my opinion, it's already a shoe-in, and I haven't even seen it yet because the studio won't screen it for critics, most likely because it's too amazing to show early.
Jerry "Hollywood Treasure" O'Connell, Adam Scott, Kelly Brook, and Paul Scheer are a few of the cast members asking for your vote this award season. If nothing else, the film should definitely have a lock on the Best Penis Being Gobbled Up and Spit Out in 3D category. The scene of that in Inception was just so-so.
Check out the campaign video after the jump…
Kelly Brook is one hot pot of English tea. I tried my best to give a range of pictures here from the artfully tasteful to the fake orgasm moan, but there are just too many out there, and more coming soon as she burns up the pages of this month's Playboy. There is one reason to see Piranha 3D this weekend: Kelly Brook naked in 3D.
A word from Kelly: "I’ve got boobs and a bum and if people think I’m fat, I honestly don’t care"
If you're fat, may the world be populated by big fat fatties like you.
More insanely hot pics of Kelly after the jump…
Monster movies have been around since actors realized they could still get paid if they climbed into a hot, rubber suit. It didn't take long for makers of those movies to figure out that those actors in rubber suits might be able to swim. So, they threw them into Universal's big ol' backstage swimming hole and let those actors attempt to stay afloat. Clever editors made it appear that they were attacking attractive teenage women. And, thus, a genre was born, the waterborne "creature feature."
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Bloody Disgusting has posted the Piranha 3D footage that got the film booted from Hall H at this year's past Comic-Con. Upon reviewing it, I can understand why the Comic-Con HMFICs wouldn't want to screen it for the family-friendly convention. A woman in a bikini gets bifurcated by a wire cable, half of her suit top falling off before half of her torso does. And that's just the beginning of the over-the-top bloodshed. Skip to the 3:15 mark to watch annoying tourists get their just desserts. …In the butt.
Check out red-band clip after the jump…
When Comic-Con told the The Weinstein Company that their Piranha 3D footage was too graphic for the "family friendly" event, they pulled out of the planned panel. But now comes word that the company is taking it one step further, saying f*** you to Comic-Con by hosting an off-site, nighttime event of their own featuring the rejected footage. TWC and director Alexandre Aja originally planned to show off a sequence where a wet T-shirt contest turns into a total massacre as prehistoric fish chomp waterlogged fun-seekers into meat. It’s the sequence that has been teased in the trailers and pre-release images, and one that sounds like one of the film’s planned showstopper setpieces. I guess it should come as no surprise that the Weinstein Brothers, two of the most powerful men in Hollywood, found a way to outflank the organizers of a comic-book convention. Frankly, I wouldn't be surprised if some Teamsters showed up, blocked the exits, and burnt the place down, cosplay girls and all. (/Film)
Stop staring at my chest!Comic-Con attendees hoping to see a topless woman for the first time are in for a real let down. Event organizers have rejected footage from the film Piranha 3D because there were too many boob shots, according to Comic-Con's PR director, David Glanzer. "My understanding is that the footage wasn't all ages appropriate," Glanzer told HitFix. "We don't check ID to get into those meeting rooms, so we don't want something inappropriate." That's all fine and good, but answer me this: at what age is it "appropriate" to sit in on a panel discussion titled A Leap Of Faith, A "Quantum Leap" Retrospective, or Kiss Them or Kill Them? Conflict Management for the Creatures Among Us? Clearly, half the crap at Comic-Con is inappropriate for people of all ages. Why pick on Piranha 3D? (Dread Central)
There's a new reason (besides interacting with pretty girls) to fear Spring Break this year: dying a fish-related death. That's why I've elected to stay on campus to get a jump on my courseload. I ran that plan by Mother and Mother agrees that's the best use of my time. The once-3D, then not 3D, then 3D again Piranha 3D has a full-length trailer that gives us a better look at the massacre at Lake Victoria. And it also gives us a better look at Ving Rhames ridiculously fighting a school of piranha with an outboard motor. That's the reason 3D was invented. Sh******t, that's the reason eyeballs were invented. Boobs, blood, and people dying unlikely deaths after the jump….
All right Screen Junkies, time to put on your 3D glasses and get ready to witness the mayhem of Piranha 3D. In this trailer you'll see the — what's that? You don't have 3D glasses? Well, you're supposed to be ready at all times. These are the post-Avatar days we're living in afterall.For those of you who did come prepared, please enjoy this blurry look at a sh*tty movie that tries to sell you on the combined star power of Elisabeth Shue and Jerry O'Connell. Last week we heard it has had its release date pushed back maybe indefinitely. Moreover, if it does ever come out, word is it won't be in 3D anymore. But hey, BOOBIES!!!And on a sidenote, how are you going to make a movie about piranha where a guy on a jet ski rolls under the water's surface and doesn't emerge as a skeleton? That's just lazy filmmaking. (Pajiba)Check out the trailer with the little scary fishies after the jump…