Screen Junkies » phantom menace Movie Reviews & TV Show Reviews Wed, 26 Nov 2014 19:27:26 +0000 en hourly 1 9 Disappointing Sequels That Took Forever To Make Wed, 31 Aug 2011 13:00:37 +0000 Archibald Bayou III All the time in the world wouldn't have helped...

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Nerds everywhere suffered heart palpitations earlier this month when director Ridley Scott announced his plans to make a sequel to the 1982 classic, Blade Runner. Along with this week’s announcement by Dan Aykroyd that Ghostbusters 3 is a lock, you would think 2013 would be set as a banner year for genre fans. History has shown, however, that too much time away from a franchise can cause as many problems as rushing a half-baked sequel out of the gate. Here are nine disappointing sequels that stayed in the oven way too long…with disastrous results.

1. Superman Returns

Time Away: 19 Years

This 2006 sequel was meant to return the original superhero franchise to greatness-instead in buried the series so dee the Man of Steel requires a total restart, due in 2013. What went wrong? The first film made you believe a man could fly, the second upped the ante with a superhuman fistfight…and in Superman Returns? Superman saved a plane. And stopped a bank robbery, I think. Too much talk, an unneeded super-kid and yet another appearance by Lex Luthor sunk this promising film at the script stage.

2. Escape From L.A.

Time Away: 15 Years

John Carpenter‘s 1996 sequel to his urban classic isn’t really a bad movie. The problem is that most fans had seen it already in 1981…when it was called Escape From New York. Story, side characters, jokes and even the climax are all recycled beat for beat from the original. Fans were ready to see a new Snake Plissken adventure, they just didn’t want to pay to see the same adventure they already owned on VHS (It was the 90′s, don’t judge me!).

3 Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull

Time Away: 19 Years

Harrison Ford teased a fourth Indiana Jones outing for years…and he should have kept teasing, because what we got were aliens and Shia Labeouf. The film starts out well enough, but suffers from a weak antagonist, the bizarre use of aliens instead of the mystical, and a second half that moves slower than Willie Scott in a death trap (I’m not proud of that line). But it does bring back Karen Allen, and who isn’t cheered up when Karen Allen is around?

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108 Page Defense of ‘Star Wars: The Phantom Menace’ Is Pure Geekonium Fri, 14 Jan 2011 05:21:10 +0000 Geoffrey Golden A Star Wars nerd wrote a 108 page book critiquing another nerd's critique of The Phantom Menace. I've got a bad feeling about this...

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Despite the title of this post, I don’t know if anything can be so geeky that it forms a new element, but damn it, this has got to come close.

Star Wars superfan Jim Raynor did not like Red Letter Media’s infamous feature-length reviews of the Star Wars prequels: The Phantom Menace, Attack of the Clones and Revenge of the Sith. The videos have gone mega viral and fans of RLM include celebrity nerds like “Lost” mastermind Damon Lindelof and actor Simon Pegg.

You would think making three feature length internet video critiques of the Star Wars prequels would be the dorkiest thing anyone could do, but Raynor may take the Nerd With Way Too Much Free Time On His Hands Award (The NWWTMFTOHH-y) at the end of the day. That’s because he wrote a 108 page novella (?) critiquing Red Letter Media’s critique of The Phantom Menace. That’s right, 108 pages dedicated to tearing down a ‘fan’ review. Here’s a scintillating sneak peak:

Throughout his review, [Red Letter Media's Mike] Stoklasa relies on the same few tricks again and again. He asks stupid questions which the movie has already answered. He denies simple truths that were made clear to everyone. He repeatedly makes false or unsupported claims that increase the amount of negativity in his review, which will stick in people’s minds even if he carefully retracts his statements later.

Ho boy. I’ve got a bad feeling about this…

Will this become a King of Kong style rivalry, where each combatant must produce a longer, more time consuming critique of the other’s arguments? I happen to be a fan of Red Letter Media’s reviews, but I won’t pass judgement on this work in terms of content. That’d be unfair: I won’t read the full thing, because I made a New Years’ Resolution not to completely waste my life in 2011. So for me, I’m just comforted by the fact that there is no ceiling to the amount of geekery one man can achieve.

I am truly inspired… and also horrified? (/Film)

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