In case you were wondering what the most trite, hackneyed, banal, overused, cliche slogan a politician could use is…it’s Friday Night Lights‘ “Clear Eyes, Full Hearts, Can’t Lose.”

I guess this means that if Romney loses, it’s simply due to the fact that his eyes and heart were not as clear or full as he would have hoped. A sobering thought.

Berg calls out Romney for being unoriginal and having values quite different from those depicted on the show. (Would Obama have better-aligned values? What about W.?) Berg is about as gracious as one could be in a cease-and-desist letter, but the barbs are clearly there. Anytime you compare someone to Buddy Garrity…it’s not a compliment.

Berg’s letter to Mitt Romney (which sounds like kind of an FNL name anyway) can be found here, with The Hollywood Reporter’s godforsaken logo all over it, forcing us to acknowledge that, yes, we are aware you got the letter first.  THR needs to constantly be validated or it just breaks down. Really a high-maintenance outlet, that one.

In her feature debut, Rihanna will be playing a hot army girl that fires giant guns. That’s not what IMDB says, but there can be two right answers to some questions. Here’s the pic, which also answers the age old question, “Which pop star can breath life into the thinnest of premises and make me forget that this is a $200 million film starring Taylor Kitsch based on a board game?” (*Answer at the bottom of the post)

*Answer: Rihanna

7 photosBrooklyn Decker

Of course, it could be an all-out cheesefest that doesn’t strike the right balance of bullshit to awesome in the same way that Battle: Los Angeles did. But for right now, I’m gleefully optimistic that this movie is going to kick ass in a dumb fun kind of way. Unless, of course, Liam Neeson speaks the line, “They sank my battleship!” In which case, laaaaame.

6 photosAimee Teegarden

The twisty story all started to unravel itself Thursday, when Grantland.com editor in chief Bill Simmons tweeted that, “Peter Berg told us he wants to do an FNL movie with Chandler/Britton off the final episode.” After that, multiple sources told me it’s no pipe dream. Berg, who directed the original feature and shepherded the NBC series with exec producer Jason Katims, is working behind the scenes to make it a reality. (TV Line)

So as of right now, Peter Berg wants to make the movie. In the same way that Ron Howard wants to make an Arrested Development movie, and the way the cast of Party Down would like to make a movie. Until there’s a commitment, nothing is certain. Come on Universal, if you like it. Put a ring on it.

Peter Berg, upon finishing helming the much-maligned Battleship, has announced that his next project will be Lone Survivor, based on a the book of the same name that chronicles a Navy Seal team’s struggle to survive after a 2005 ambush. The event took place on a raid to kill or capture a terrorist leader, not unlike the raid on bin Laden.

Berg sums up the story thusly for Deadline:

“The mission was similar to the assassination mission that got Bin Laden, but things got complicated when they ran into 3 kids and an old man,” he said. “Under the rules of engagement, they could have killed them, but they decided to let them go and take their chances, even though they knew these people would likely talk.” Shortly after, the mission had to be aborted when the SEALS found themselves under fire from about 250 Al Qaeda soldiers. When the dust cleared–and after a rescue helicopter was blown up by a rocket propelled grenade, 15 SEAL members were killed, and the lone survivor was Luttrell. “A massive land assault was carried out, but by then Marcus was brought to shelter by an Afghan tribe that fought off the Taliban until Luttrell could be rescued.”

You’re supposed to say “spoiler alert” when you give away major plot points, Peter.

Berg has already tapped Battleship star Taylor Kitsch to play on of the four SEAL leads in the film. Further, Berg has had his eye on this project since he embedded himself with a SEAL team in his research for The Kingdom. However, Universal convinced him to direct Battleship first, then they would spiring for Lone Survivor. Man, Berg sure does a lot of movies about the military. He’s like the Tom Clancy of directors.

Paramount, after holding rights to the sci-fi book series Dune for four years, saw their option lapse today as they were unable to to turn a book into a movie. There was even precedence with a 1984 feature adaptation flop. This does NOT bode well for the Daredevil reboot.

The failure to get the movie made didn’t appear to be for lack of effort on Paramount’s part. Their first-choice director, Peter Berg, dropped out to do Battleship (read: more money), and they thought they were tracking well with Taken helmer Pierre Morel and a script that was able to condense much of the rambling story. Alas, the studio had a hard time with the projected $100 million budget, and that seemed to be a dealbreaker.

However, should the party to which the rights reverted, Richard Rubinstein, decide to use Paramount’s script at some point, the studio might be able to get some of that pre-development cash back. Light a candle for lowly Paramount. (Deadline)

He stopped short of predicting it would be a nightmarish mash-up of special effects and thin plots, ’cause, you know, glass houses and whatnot, but he does go on about how Hollywood puts too much of a premium on established brands and not enough on creating new ones. He seems to (consciously or not) overlook the fact that respected helmer Peter Berg is running the Battleship circus, which throws a little more credibility behind the production of a big-budget feature based on a simplistic board game. (The fact that Rihanna and Brooklyn Decker are also on board is another story altogether.) His words may have had more gravity if he had cited a Michael Bay movie, but Transformers movies only come out every nine months or so, and Cameron didn’t want to wait that long to let his feelings be known.

Cameron summed up his point nicely, saying, “They want to make the Battleship game into a film… This is pure desperation.” Says the gentleman whose next two projects are Avatar 2 and Avatar 3.

^{"You do not sink Liam Neeson’s Battleship."}

Liam Neeson may have missed out at the chance to play Abraham Lincoln, but he will be DAMNED if he misses the opportunity to work with Rihanna. Zeus has signed on to play an Admiral in Peter Berg‘s cuckoo-bananas film adaptation of the Hasbro board game.

More specifically, Neeson will play Admiral Shane, the father to Brooklyn Decker‘s character and future father-in-law to Taylor Kitsch (if you care about the soap opera aspects of Battleship). No word yet if the film will feature any Krakken releasing. (Deadline)

^{"That dog musta been sick."}

Here’s the first look from Peter Berg‘s perplexing Battleship adaptation of Rihanna dressed like one of those guys that hang out at the mall trying to recruit poor people into combat. I still find it really odd that she joined the cast, which includes Taylor Kitsch, Brooklyn Decker, and Alexander Skarsgard. Then again, I find it really odd this movie is being made. But what strikes me as most odd is this thing standing next to Rihanna. Didn’t E.T. dress up as that once?

(via Movieline)

The news that there is a film in the works based upon the board game Battleship is a crazy enough notion. So, why am I still surprised by the casting news? We’ve already reported that Rihanna had joined the cast, because there was apparantly a Rihanna-like character intrinsic to the storyline. Now it has been announced that swimsuit model and Transformers 3 hopeful Brooklyn Decker will play Taylor Kitsch‘s love interest in the film. I mean, movie. I mean, commercial. I mean, Peter Berg‘s excuse to party with Rihanna and Brooklyn Decker. (Deadline)

It looks like an actor has willingly signed on to play the lead in Battleship, a Peter Berg joint. Taylor Kitsch, who you probably know from Friday Night Lights or X-Men Origins: Wolverine or John Carter of Mars (if you’re behind on your RSS feed and just now reading this in 2012), is now attached to play Alex Hopper, the Commanding Officer of a destroyer who goes toe-to-toe with alien invaders on the high seas.

Jeremy Renner was originally in talks for the role but had to drop out when he realized the movie was based on a board game. I’d like to stay optimistic about this until I see a trailer, but I will go on record and let it be known that I’ll be very disappointed if a Slinky doesn’t burst from a crewmember’s chest during a galley scene. (THR)

Jeremy Renner is undoubtedly on many a casting wishlist thanks to his Oscar-nominated performance in The Hurt Locker. But that doesn’t mean you have to take every role Jeremy.

The actor has confirmed he will take a role in James McTiegue’s The Raven, a movie that centers on the final days of Edgar Allan Poe as he hunts for a serial killer inspired by his stories. I don’t remember that from high school English. Appears that Ms. Fitzgerald was asleep at the wheel.

But the really distressing news is that he’s considering the lead role in Peter Berg‘s Milton Bradley-adaptation Battleship. He’s interested in the role but needs to decide if he would rather take a super-secret role for which he’s had five meetings. Trust me, Jeremy. Whatever the other role is, you want to take it over board game sailor fighting aliens. Don’t throw away your Oscar goodwill before you even win it. And make sure to use hand sanitizer after contact with Mickey Rourke. It’s the only way to prevent the spread of career suicide. (NY Times)

Taken‘s Pierre Morel has been hired by Paramount to direct the upcoming adaptation of Dune. Morel, who also directed the upcoming John Travolta as Mr. Clean biopic From Paris, With Love, is looking to stay faithful to Frank Herbert’s 1965 book and is in search for a writer that can help bring that to pass. This will be the third adaptation of Dune brought to the screen. And probably the first to involve parkour.

Peter Berg was originally attached but left in order to adapt Milton Bradley’s Battleship into a feature film about sailor fighting aliens. Uh-huh. Right. I guess Stephen Sommers was indisposed. (EW)

Peter Berg invited a few reporters to spend the day on the USS Sterett so that he could discuss his upcoming board game adaptation, Battleship. Eyes have been rolling since the film was announced, but matters were made worse when it was reported that aliens would play the film’s heavies. Berg defended this decision and elaborated on what to expect from the sea-faring visitors.

• The aliens are known as The Regents. They will be brought to the screen with a mixture of CG and live action.
• They aren’t looking to take over Earth. They are looking to build a power source in the ocean so that they can return to their home world.
• The alien weaponry will not be futuristic lasers. It will be exploding ballistics-based, just like ours.
• Someone at some point in the film will exclaim, "You sank my Battleship!"

So there you have it. No word on casting yet but Berg seems very clear about the movie he wants to make. It’s a movie based on a board game. Looks like it’s time to dust off my adaptation of Ants In The Pants. It’s a mystery/thriller about these ants that get into some guy’s pants. (Latino Review)