Last night after a special screening of Young Adult at the Arclight cinema in Hollywood, actor Patton Oswalt and host Garry Shandling discussed the film and took questions from the audience. During a lull in the requisite ass kissing that goes on at such events, Shandling pulled out a printed Yelp review of the movie theater’s parking lot, and asked Oswalt to perform it as a monologue. Happy to oblige, Oswalt launched into an emotional tirade written by Yelp User Jason O., who is extremely unhappy about Arclight’s policy of not fully reimbursing customers for their parking.

Our whole experience was really good up until the end. Now I do not know if this is something the theater has any control over or not. We had to pay $2 for parking WITH the movie theater validation! WITH VALIDATION! (maybe it was $3) I have no problem paying for parking but the whole idea is that you validate so you don’t have to pay. Let’s go with a smart parking facility as an example. Sherman Oaks Galleria charges for parking and that makes sense. If you are using their big fancy convenient parking structure you should pay for it. Now the businesses want you to come and spend money there so they compensate you so that you will not go to a similar business that does not make you pay for parking. Naturally if you go to a store or a shop at the Galleria it covers you for a little bit of time. If you get dinner or drinks from a restaurant it covers you for like 2 hours. And if you go to a movie it covers you for 3 or 4 hours. If you go to a movie and then you dick around for an hour and a half you will have to pay a little bit. THIS WHOLE THING MAKES PERFECT SENSE! Does anyone not get this? Why would the Hollywood location’s validation only cover part of the cost of seeing a movie?

I love this theater but this parking this is stupid. Oh well, maybe someday they will change that. Until then I will stick to theaters with real parking validation.

And with that, Jason O. can now claim that his work has been performed by two of the most innovative comedians of our time. However, he probably shouldn’t get too cocky. As Shandling said in reference to the review, “And I thought I had no life because I’m on Twitter.”

I’m crab-walkin, I’m crab-walkin:

The Many Faces Of Stephen Lang (Movieline)

God, These Are Sick Waves (BarStoolSports)

Charlie Sheen At Gathering of the Juggalos (HolyTaco)

Hello Mormon Ladies (FilmDrunk)

Katy Perry Goes Topless (CelebJihad)

Epic Portal Music Video (Unreality)

Does Star Power Work? (Moviefone)

Chillin’ With Oprah (PopEater)

Gettin’ Ready To Kiss Your Girl (Smosh)

The Best Trailer Recuts Ever (Ranker)

Dancing To Phish (BroBible)

Victoria’s Secret Got Hotter (Maxim)

The ‘Friends’ Movie? (Pajiba)

Hollywoods Best Foreheads (NextMovie)

Palhares Faces Miller (CagePotato)

Behold: The Motorcycle Jeep (MadeMan)

No Mod Tools For Battlefield (GameFront)

Ana Sofia Henao Hotness (TuVez)

Olivia Munn has officially joined Aaron Sorkin‘s HBO drama about what happens behind-the-scenes – whoa, there’s a behind-the scenes? – at a cable news show. Currently the series is called “More As The Story Develops.” When I wished I could “see more” of Olivia Munn, her suddenly getting a lot of acting work was not what I had in mind. Stupid monkey’s paw. Meanwhile, Allison Pill (Milk) joins the cast as an associate producer in a shaky relationship with another staffer. The reason the relationship’s shaky? He accidentally asked her to give him some “forehead.” (Hollywood Reporter)

The old and buster Spider-Man, Topher Grace, is set to star in Gently Down The Stream along with Robert De Niro, Diane Keaton, Amanda Seyfried and Katherine Heigl. He’ll play De Niro’s son, who falls in love with his adopted brother’s Latin sister. Eh, that kind of thing happens all the time, I’m sure. Justin Zackham is directing. (Deadline)

Rapper / actor / vitamin water aficionado 50 Cent will play blind DJ Shamus Cocobolo in Stephen Sommers‘ Odd Thomas. Yeah, that does sound odd. Based on the bestseller by Dean Koontz, the film’s about a clairvoyant short order cook (Anton Yelchin) who follows around a suspicious man connected to an impending disaster. Odd Thomas also stars Addison Timlin, Willem Dafoe and Patton Oswalt. (Variety)

“[T]he film … explores what people do when humanity’s last days are at hand and whether Carell’s character can find love at the worst possible time.”

I dunno if it’s really the WORST possible time to find love. If the world’s about to end, no pressure to meet her parents. Anyway, no word yet on who these people are going to play — maybe half of them will be demons and the other half angels? Probably not, though. (Variety)

Anyway, he’s joining Anton Yelchin as the titular clairvoyant, and Willem Dafoe and Nico Tortorella are rumored to be attached as well. The universally beloved Stephen Sommers is directing, so it’s likely we’ll be hearing some funny stories about Oswalt complaining about Van Helsing on set. (Variety)

Beh beh beh beh? Yes, they’re links:

Black Dynamite: The Comic Book (AdultSwim)

Abbie Cornish Wants To Make A Rap Album (MovieLine)

The Vampire Woman Lives (BarstoolSports)

2 Kick-Ass Monkeys (HolyTaco)

Human Centipede The Musical (FilmDrunk)

Lindsay Lohan Converts To Islam (CelebJihad)

China Is Building Transformers (Unreality)

Behind The Scenes Of Hanna (MovieFone)

Kevin Federline Is Pregnant (PopEater)

21 Things Made Out Of Bacon (Smosh)

The 13 Best Dystopian Novels (Ranker)

Awesome Jet Pack (BroBible)

Kids Are Dangerous (Pajiba)

Six Hilarious Clips From Your Highness (NextMovie)

The Hottest Women In MMA (CagePotato)

On The Road With Good Charlotte (MadeMan)

Retro Latina Babes (TuVez)

Wondercon 2011 Cosplay (GameFront)

Sharp-eared readers might remember that Simmons also provided a small voice over appearance in last year’s True Grit, showing that he might be on his way to being one of “those voices,” like Morgan Freeman or Tim Allen. This also isn’t the first time he’s worked with Reitman and Young Adult‘s universally beloved screenwriter Diablo Cody, having appeared in their previous collaboration Juno.

Young Adult also stars Charlize Theron, Patrick Wilson, and Patton Oswalt, and “follows the story of a divorced 30-something young-adult fiction writer (Theron) who returns to her Minnesota home to chase after her now-married-with-kids ex-boyfriend (Wilson) with Oswalt playing a semi-crippled ol high school acquaintance who befriends the narcissistic and misguided female.” Now just imagine that being said by J.K. Simmons, and you’ll have a good idea of what the movie will be like. (The Playlist)

I got Oswalt on the red carpet and he was humorously uncooperative too. I just gave him more fuel to be ridiculous at the VES Awards.

Q: What sort of visual effects jokes have you prepared for tonight?

Patton Oswalt: I haven’t really prepared any jokes so I’ll have to just kind of wing it when I get out there.

Q: Is that how you usually work when you host?

PO: No, I’ve just been very busy so we’ll see what happens.

Q: Which of the nominated movies have you seen?

PO: Did Attack of the Clones come out this year? I saw that on a Betamax tape so I’m feeling pretty confident.

Q: I think it did, and I think Yoda’s here.

PO: Awesome. Are you sure that was Yoda or was that Joan Rivers?

Q: What’s going on in the world that you’re preparing jokes about?

PO: Ooh, boy, let me think. Didn’t they elect a new president this year, that Barack guy? I wrote a couple jokes about him. I think they landed a guy on the moon this year too so I’m pretty up to date.

Q: Do you try to avoid topical humor?

PO: I’m not really sure. Again, I have nothing ready so I couldn’t tell you.

Q: If I wanted to improv with you how should I start?

PO: Send me the prewritten script and I’ll read off of it.

Q: Inception is a big winner tonight. Could you follow it perfectly the first time you saw it?

PO: I’ve only played the board game so far and there’s something about a thing where your character goes down this little slide. Is that in the movie? That’s in the board game and I love that. A little Leo piece goes down a slide, so if there’s a slide in it then yeah, that was my favorite part.

Q: You’re very present on Twitter. What are some good ways for non -famous people to boost their Twitter following?

PO: I guess start attacking famous people and get into fights. I’m not really sure. I don’t think Twitter really helps your career.

Q: So if we tweet mean things at you, will you respond?

PO: Probably not. Sorry, I just don’t read the @follows. I’m kind of lazy that way.

Q: So that wouldn’t actually help your following.

PO: Well, not for me, no although I don’t know how much I can help someone’s career.

Q: Are you touring?

PO: Yeah, I’ve been opening up for Three Dog Night so it’s been pretty exciting.

Q: Do you have lots of Three Dog Night jokes?

PO: Oh my God, I have like an hour’s worth.

Q: I’m going to put you on the spot. Share one of your Three Dog Night jokes with us.

PO: The band has asked me not to do any outside of the concerts because they’re going to put out a special bonus CD. So I would love to, but I can’t. Chuck Negron is really tough.

"No! Not the Invisi-jizz!!"

Quiet down, nerds. Your leader is speaking. Patton Oswalt wrote an op-ed in WiReD that laments the death of the nerd movement, whose abused corpse now lays ‘neath the feet and bloodied fists of Internet culture. Here’s a segment of his missive:

Fast-forward to now: Boba Fett’s helmet emblazoned on sleeveless T-shirts worn by gym douches hefting dumbbells. The Glee kids performing the songs from The Rocky Horror Picture Show. And Toad the Wet Sprocket, a band that took its name from a Monty Python riff, joining the permanent soundtrack of a night out at Bennigan’s. Our below-the-topsoil passions have been rudely dug up and displayed in the noonday sun. The Lord of the Rings used to be ours and only ours simply because of the sheer goddamn thickness of the books. Twenty years later, the entire cast and crew would be trooping onstage at the Oscars to collect their statuettes, and replicas of the One Ring would be sold as bling.

The topsoil has been scraped away, forever, in 2010. In fact, it’s been dug up, thrown into the air, and allowed to rain down and coat everyone in a thin gray-brown mist called the Internet. Everyone considers themselves otaku about something—whether it’s the mythology of Lost or the minor intrigues of Top Chef. American Idol inspires—if not in depth, at least in length and passion—the same number of conversations as does The Wire. There are no more hidden thought-palaces—they’re easily accessed websites, or Facebook pages with thousands of fans. And I’m not going to bore you with the step-by-step specifics of how it happened. In the timeline of the upheaval, part of the graph should be interrupted by the words the Internet. And now here we are.

The problem with the Internet, however, is that it lets anyone become otaku about anything instantly. In the ’80s, you couldn’t get up to speed on an entire genre in a weekend. You had to wait, month to month, for the issues of Watchmen to come out. We couldn’t BitTorrent the latest John Woo film or digitally download an entire decade’s worth of grunge or hip hop. Hell, there were a few weeks during the spring of 1991 when we couldn’t tell whether Nirvana or Tad would be the next band to break big. Imagine the terror!

Now, with everyone more or less otaku and everything immediately awesome (or, if not, just as immediately rebooted or recut as a hilarious YouTube or Funny or Die spoof), the old inner longing for more or better that made our present pop culture so amazing is dwindling. The Onion’s A.V. Club—essential and transcendent in so many ways—has a weekly feature called Gateways to Geekery, in which an entire artistic subculture—say, anime, H. P. Lovecraft, or the Marx Brothers—is mapped out so you can become otaku on it but avoid its more tedious aspects.

Well put. Just ignore the hypocrisy he displayed with that crappy Internet parody he did of The Room.

Patton Oswalt has signed on to play Charlize Theron’s chubby best friend in Young Adult. Jason Reitman and Diablo Cody, who last worked together on Juno, are teaming up again for the film about a woman who returns to he high school town to basically stalk her old boyfriend like she’s Marky Mark. The guy’s got a wife and kid now though, so he’s not interested in Charlize. Not interested? His Mrs. must do crazy sh*t in the sack.

Josh Brolin decided he couldn’t pretend Charlize isn’t worth leaving his wife for and now Patrick Wilson is in talks for the role. Seems like a missed opportunity to put Wilson in a fat suit and cast him as the best friend and Oswalt as the ex-boyfriend. I’d love to watch Charlize beg Oswalt to have sex with her and he looks up at her with stern eyes and proclaims, "No, Ugly!" (/Film)

The first event I caught at this year’s Comic-Con was the Tron Legacy panel, moderated by Patton Oswalt, a favorite comedian of mine and yours. I’m not allowed to show you the footage that was screened, although you can read my brief description in my Thursday’s adventures recap, but I have video of the panel discussion. You can also check out the awesome new trailer here.

All of the actors were in attendence (for a third year in a row), including Garret Hedlund, Olivia Wilde, Michael Sheen, and Jeff Bridges, as well as director Joseph Kosinski. They enlighten us on the process of making the film, the flashy difference between Tron Legacy and Tron proper, and how Olivia kicked-ass in high heels. You really shouldn’t need much more convincing to see the film when it opens on December 17, 2010.

Check out video from the Tron Legacy panel below, or you will de-rez.

Comic-Con 201 Tron Legacy Panel Part 1 – Watch more Funny Videos

Comic-Con 2010 Tron Legacy Panel Part 2 – Watch more Funny Videos

Good news for pot heads everywhere! The cast for the next installment of the Harold and Kumar series has been announced. Aside from returning cast members Kal Penn, John Cho and Neil Patrick Harris, some impressive names are joining the film’s roster.

Joining the "Harold & Kumar" ensemble are Tom Lennon ("17 Again," TV’s "Reno 911") and Danny Trejo ("Grindhouse"). Rounding out the new film cast are Amir Blumenfeld (TV’s "Pranked," CollegeHumor.com), David Burtka (TV’s "How I Met Your Mother"), Fred Melamed ("A Serious Man"), Patton Oswalt ("The Informant!") and Richard Riehle ("Halloween II").

Part 3 takes place six years after the last film, and centers around the duo’s attempts to replace Harold’s father’s beloved Christmas tree, which was accidentally set ablaze by Kumar. For those of you who are too stoned to keep up with such a complex plot, not to worry. The film is being shot in 3D, which means all you’ll have to do is sit back and look at the cool shapes and colors racing toward your face.

What an age we live in! (Coming Soon)

Harold & Kumar 3 began filming today in a mall in Michigan, and the cast and creators are tweeting about their adventures. John Cho, the Asian in the dynamic cannabis-loving duo had this to say: "In Michigan, @pattonoswalt in my vicinity, holding a sketch pad, duct tape, and a reel to reel audio recorder. Eeesh." Whoa, so Patton Oswalt is on set too?! Oswalt tweeted: "Maybe it’s this Michigan air, but @JohnTheCho is looking huggable, chloroform-able, and bury-able."

As much as I’d love Oswalt being there to star in the movie, I gather by his tweet that he’s simply hanging around set to chloroform, rape, and murder John Cho. He didn’t specifically say "rape" but chloroform isn’t used for much else these days. And since Kal Penn didn’t chime in on Twitter, he must already be under floorboards somewhere.

Check out some pics from the set after the jump…

(Collider)