Well it works!

In 2010, Jesse Dimmick broke into a Topeka, Kansas house while on the run from the law. He held the couple hostage at knifepoint while formulating an escape plan. Presumably to kill some time, the homeowners fed Dimmick Dr. Pepper and Cheetos while popping in everyone’s favorite movie of all time ever, Patch Adams, in which Robin Williams plays a doctor who learns the healing power of laughter.

Predictably, Dimmick fell asleep, the couple escaped, called the cops, and the cops apprehended the captor after shooting him in the back. However, Dimmick is now suing the couple for breach of contract in that they had promised to hide him from the cops in exchange for money.

I would like to know who Mr. Dimmick’s civil attorney is, because I make fun of movies for a living, and even I know that if a contract calls for illegal action, then it’s unenforceable. I would shift the suit to “infliction of emotional distress via exhibition of a film in which Robin Williams plays an insufferable man-child.” That would be like money in the bank.