Ben Stiller Tweets ‘Zoolander 2′ Still Happening
Saturday, August 28 by

Back in February we reported that Justin Theroux was spending some time at Fashion Week in Paris doing research for his gig writing and directing the Zoolander sequel. It appears he's had his fill of brie-stuffed croissants and scantily clad models, and is back in The States collaborating with Ben Stiller. At least, that's what Stiller said via his Twitter account.
The question is, can you really trust the lead actor and executive producer on the film? And the answer to that question is yes. So for now, Zoolander 2 is moving along swimmingly with Jonah Hill still being eyed for the villain. No word yet if Owen Wilson will reprise his roll as Hansel, but Stiller has gone on record saying that the sequel couldn't be made without him. I assume that is due to Wilson being such an integral part of the Zoolander world, not because he has a penchant for spitefully burning down film sets. (/Film)

Paramount Assigns Jeremy Renner a ‘Mission: Impossible’
Thursday, August 26 by

(Above) Jeremy Renner's First Solo Album: Can I Borrow a Feeling
The Hurt Locker's Jeremy Renner will co-star with Tom Cruise in the fourth installment of the Mission: Impossible franchise, Deadline is reporting. Yesterday it was rumored that Paramount was in search of a younger actor to join the film with the hope that he could take over the staring role once Cruise steps aside. But the studio ultimately decided on the 41-year-old Renner, who they felt had a "Daniel Craig quality."

While Renner is a great actor, I really don't understand the logic behind bringing him in. After Knight and Day bombed, it was reported that Paramount wanted a star to help compensate for Cruise's waning box-office appeal. Is Renner the man for that job? If you really want this thing to be a hit, you need to cast Taylor Lautner or maybe The Situation. That's how you get asses in the seats, damn it.

Paramont Buys Rights to ‘Last Man Standing’ (Not Starring Bruce Willis)
Thursday, August 12 by

Paramount Pictures has purchased the rights to Last Man Standing, SlashFilm is reporting. No, not the 1996 Bruce Willis flop, but rather the upcoming graphic novel by Daniel LuVisi.

The comic, which isn't due out until September, was purchased from Heavy Metal Publishing, which is owned by Kevin Eastman, co-creator of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. The story chronicles the adventures of Gabriel, a genetically modified super-soldier who is framed as a mass murderer by a terrorist organization.
I don't blame you if your natural inclination is to draw parallels between this story and the current Mel Gibson frame-up we're watching unfold, but the book predates the Gibson incident, so any similarities are purely coincidental.
FREE MEL!

Paramount Bids ‘Au Revoir, Crazy European Chick’
Wednesday, August 11 by

Paramount has scooped up the rights to the not-yet-published young adult novel Au Revoir, Crazy European Chick. The story follows a high school student who gets stuck with a homely and boring European exchange student who turns out to be secretly hot. And also an assassin.
If that sounds like "Chuck" to you, then you have a promising future in Hollywood. "Chuck" creator Josh Schwartz has been attached to develop the concept. Speaking of Chuck, this sounds a lot like Palahniuk's novel Pygmy. So imagine Pygmy meets I Love You, Beth Cooper, minus the social commentary. And Hayden Panettiere. (Deadline)

Justin Bieber’s Stupid Biopic Will Be In 3D
Tuesday, August 3 by

Shortly after it was announced that diminutive singing child Justin Bieber would pen the very important memoir Justin Bieber: First Step 2 Forever: My Story, we now have more details on that 8 Mile thing he's doing for money.
Paramount Pictures has made a deal to turn Justin Bieber's life story into a 3D feature biopic. Davis Guggenheim, the Oscar-winning director of An Inconvenient Truth, is negotiating to direct.
The biopic is set for a Valentine's Day release and will also include footage from Bieber's upcoming concert at Madison Square Garden. It's uncertain how much of the film will cover Bieber getting hopped up on Sour Patch Kids and punching his manager in the balls. Probably like two-thirds. (Deadline)

Michael Bay Wants to Make Alien Abductions Explode
Wednesday, July 28 by

Alien abductions and big explosions: together at last!

Director Michael Bay is teaming with Paramount Pictures to produce Bobby Glickert's upcoming alien film, tentativly titled Confidential Alien Project (don't let them screw with that title, Bobby). While Glickert has directed a few horror shorts, this will be his first full-length feature. Insiders are comparing the film to both Cloverfield and Paranormal Activity, which is a nice way of saying it's cheap. Considering Paramount is hoping to keep the budget at around $12 million, that seems to be the case.

Deadline is reporting that Bay's production company, Platinum Dunes, is currently shopping for writers, so if anyone knows a lot of synonyms for "Kaboom," send your resume here.

‘Transformers 3′ Set Pics
Tuesday, June 22 by

Michael Bay is currently shooting Transformers 3 in Playa Vista, CA, and Just Jared managed to snag some pictures from the set. Let me set the scene so that you may fully understand the gravitas behind the stills. Shia LaBeouf, Rosie Huntington-Whiteley, and Tyrese Gibson are being chased by an evil Decepticon who tips over a building. Oh the subtext! The building is clearly a metaphor for the Decepticon's abusive father. I smell an Oscar. **Places lid on trashcan stuffed with a decomposing grouch**Check out the pics after the jump…

Paramount Takes ‘UNTITLED Les Grossman Project’ Way Too Far
Thursday, June 10 by

Paramount Pictures is taking its UNTITLED Les Grossman Project way too far. A press release announcing the film treated Grossman as if he was a real "mega-producer" rather than a somewhat-humorous fictional character. While I wasn't a big fan, the release does allow me to use block quotes, and I'm a big fan of that! Paramount Pictures and MTV Films announced today that they are set to develop a movie around mega-producer Les Grossman. The announcement comes on the heels of Grossman’s groundbreaking and visionary production of the soon-to-be Emmy® award-winning 2010 MTV Movie Awards Sunday night. Tom Cruise, along with Ben Stiller and Stuart Cornfeld of Red Hour Films will produce and have secured the life rights to Grossman. See what I mean?  Block quotes rule. The release goes on to say that Grossman played himself in Tropic Thunder, even though we all know it was Tom Cruise. It also claims that Tom Crusie will be portraying the real Grossman in the new movie, even though there is no real Grossman to portray! I need a map to keep up with all the ins and outs. I haven't been this god damn confused since Garth Brooks was dating the awful rocker, Chris Gaines.

Calling All Fancy Boys: Paramount Begins Casting for ‘Footloose’ Remake
Friday, May 28 by

Are you a male, age 18 or older, who has a natural rhythm and loves to dance? If so, would you be interested in driving your father to alcoholism by playing a high school senior in the upcoming remake of the Kevin Bacon classic, Footloose? Well then, what are you waiting for, Cinderella? Let's get you ready for the ball!Paramount has begun casting for the film and has put out a call for digital audition videos to be sent in via email. Nothing could go wrong there; just ask Chris Klein.As the casting call clearly states, applicants do not need to be a trained dancer, provided they are a quick learner (i.e. you've learned to keep your damn mouth shut about the casting couch).Click here for your chance to be in Footloose.

Yep. Victoria’s Secret Model Rosie Huntington-Whiteley Will Replace Megan Fox’s Glistening Torso in ‘Transformers 3.’
Wednesday, May 26 by

This is what happens when you complain.Last week we pondered whether Rosie Huntington-Whiteley, the Victoria's Secret model with zero acting credibility, would be selected to fill the Megan Fox-shaped hole in all of our Transformers 3 hearts. Today we have the answer: duh.Pending negotiations, Rosie will fill the role of semi-nude girl tinkering with a motor, and star opposite Shia LaBeouf, Josh Duhamel, and Tyrese Gibson. If she opts in, Rosie will be having her leg humped by either a miniature Decepticon or Shia LaBeouf within the next few weeks. (Deadline)

Michael Bay Whips Out ‘Gideon’s Sword’
Tuesday, May 25 by

Techno-thriller. Shut up.Michael Bay is pulling out a different sword for a change. Paramount has optioned the upcoming novel "Gideon's Sword," for Bay to produce. The novel, gang-banged by Douglas Preston and Lincoln Child, is the first techno-thriller in a series centering around the ridiculously-named character Gideon Crew. Sounds like a name Sylvester Stallone would use to check into hotel rooms. No word yet on what the plot entails beyond the "techno-thriller" description, which sadly means I didn't get to Photoshop Michael Bay pointing his glock at LARPers. We're all kinda sad about that here at Screen Junkies HQ. (Variety)

Michael Bay Tells Megan Fox to Back the F Off of ‘Transformers 3′
Wednesday, May 19 by

This is what happens when you compare Michael Bay to Hitler. He fires your ass like a ruthless dictator. Deadline has learned that Paramount won't be picking up Megan Fox's option for Transformers 3 after Michael Bay said, and I'm paraphrasing, "F that B!"Right now the director who rules with an iron fist is finishing up the Transformers 3 script with writer Ehren Kruger, and they feel "giving Shia a new love interest makes more sense for the story." Right, because it's ridiculous that a nerd such as Sam Witwicky would stand by the same insanely hot girl for all these years. Making everyone you will ever meet and know jealous is totally overrated. 

Child’s Face Peed On In Freeze Frame From ‘Super 8′ Teaser
Tuesday, May 11 by

With Jamaroqui Jabar Abrams's Super 8 opening in theaters in little over 365 days from now, we're given precious time to pour over every small piece of marketing material obsessively. Let's get on that people! **dons jeweler's loupe** Our first clue comes to us in the form of the above picture, lifted from the newly-released high quality teaser. Just before the film's title appears, you can see the quick flash of a mysterious child's face. Much like in Three Men and a Baby or the rear window of Roman Polanski's van as it speeds away. Dissect this HD bitch after the jump…

Patrick Dempsey and Jamie Kennedy Could Tango with Bay for ‘Transformers 3′
Tuesday, May 4 by

I'm only writing about this because I REALLY wanted to put together the above photoshop. Patrick Dempsey and Jamie Kennedy are maybe going to be a part of Transformers 3. Random much? Michael Bay must just be shouting out the names of people he sees on TV now. I'm sure Can't Buy Me Love and Scream were playing back-to-back on some network this past weekend.Depending on where you translate the interview that Dempsey gave to Brazilian website BOH it either says:“I start filming later this month in “Transformers 3″, which I play a character who is far more “dark” than others.”or:"Chicken patty sandwich."Don't ask me, I don't speak Portuguese.Jamie Kennedy told 8KUPD Arizona (he got interviewed by a license plate?) that he “had an interesting interview with the people behind the new Transformers movie and I may have a role in the movie.”More Transformers 3 casting news to come, but I really don't see it getting anymore exciting than this, people. (/Film)

No ‘Anchorman 2′ For You, AGAIN!!
Thursday, April 29 by

As previously reported, Adam McKay has a serious case of the frownies today. After severely cutting the budget, Anchorman 2 is still a no-go with Paramount. There was a glimmer of hope earlier this week when the original cast agreed to cut their prices, but Paramount decided to pass all the same.I imagine it went something like this:ADAM McKAY: So there you have it, The Further Legends of Ron Burgundy!!PARAMOUNT EXEC: Very funny. But I'll need to consult with my adviser.SLAMS MAGIC 8 BALL DOWN ON DESK.PARMOUNT EXEC: Oooh. It is decidely not so. MWUHAHAHAHAAHAHAHA!!!!!MAGIC 8 BALL: MWUHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!A TEAM OF BAYWATCH WRITERS CLOSES DOOR ON McKAY'S FACE.(via /Film)

Signs Point to Yes for ‘Magic 8 Ball: The Movie’
Wednesday, April 28 by

Is a movie based on a soothsaying billiard ball unnecessary? As I see it, yes. Will that prevent Paramount from making an action-adventure film based on Mattell's Magic 8 Ball? Outlook not so good.Paramount Pictures has decided audiences are finally ready to embrace the Zen simplicity that is Magic 8 Ball: The Motion Picture. …Paramount has assigned as producer its former production chief, Brad Weston. The Paramount plan, we hear, is to turn Magic 8 Ball into a sort of live-action National Treasure–style action-adventure movie.Oh, I see. It will be a sort of live-action National Treasure-style action-adventure movie. Well, that makes perfect sense. Jerry Bruckheimer loves 8 balls. (Vulture)

‘Ring 3D’ to Crawl Out of Screens
Tuesday, April 27 by

Just the other day on Things I Never Say Day, I was saying how badly we need a sequel to The Ring. Preferably one that is 3D and focuses on a more teen-centric angle. Well, save up your shillings for an inflated ticket price because it looks like Paramount is intending to do just that. Dream House writer David Loucka on script duties. No details yet about how the girl in the old VHS will return but one scenario has teens finding a VCR that still works. Really?Okay. Honestly, you kids today with your Jason Beavers and sexting parties. VCR's aren't that old or difficult to find. Either this film takes place in 2025 or Afghanistan. (THR)

Paramount Pays Sacha Baron Cohen With Goats
Friday, April 23 by

Paramount has won the rights to Sacha Baron Cohen's next comedy film after sending goats to the actor and his reps. That's right. Goats. They also gave him $20 million against 20% of the first-dollar gross. Which means he could stand to earn.. umm…. uh…. carry the one…consult with Clippy…. uh…. a lot of money. So that helped to seal the deal too.The film will star Cohen in a dual role, playing two characters we've yet to see. One is a goat herder and the other a deposed dictator who gets stuck in America. But back to the goats. Deadline reports, "visitors to WME were greeted by a goat wandering across the 3rd floor atrium — that is, until Ari Emanuel had the goat removed after it took a dump in the hallway."No fair. Brett Ratner dumps in that hallway all the time and he's still allowed to make deals.

‘World War Z’ Development Lumbers Forward
Thursday, April 22 by

PEW. PEW. PEW.It's been a long time since we've heard anything about the adaptation of World War Z. Max Brooks, the book's author, spoke with MTV and gave the update that we're about a month away from seeing a rewrite from Matthew Carnahan. After that point, it's up to Paramount to decide when and how awesomely it gets made.He also acknowledged that the style of the book is impossible to translate to film and commended the original script's ability to weave a cohesive narrative from the numerous, sprawling entries in the book. Until we hear more, readers are advised to prepare for the impending zombie uprising. A nice way to do so would be with this combination night table/zombie-proof bat and shield. Also effective against cat burglars.

‘Baywatch’ Hires Even More Writers
Wednesday, March 31 by

Paramount seems very serious about actually making a Baywatch movie. So serious in fact, that they've now brought on five writers to capture the elusive tone of the master work. Brian Gatewood and Alessandro Tanaka (who wrote Jonah Hill's The Sitter) have been brought in to polish drafts from The Break-Up's Jeremy Garlick and National Security writers Jay Scherick and David Ronn. It's said the film is to be in the vain of the Charlie's Angels revamp with more of a focus on female action (read: jiggliness).Though no director or castmembers have been hired, we already know where this thing is going. Heidi Montag to star and Zack Snyder to direct. Both are masterful at capturing slow-motion running for different reasons. I'd imagine David Hasslehoff would make some kind of appearance as no actor alive can perform mouth to mouth on a cheeseburger as well as he can. Well, maybe Vince Vaughn could. (THR)

Posthumous John Hughes Project is What the Streets Want
Monday, March 8 by

John Hughes's career is in upswing after many quiet years. Sadly he's pretty dead but, much like Tupac before him, he still has unproduced work floating around out there. And the streets is hot for one of these screenplays. Grisbys Go Broke, a story about a wealthy Chicago family who lose everything and move to the country, is raising a few eyebrows in Hollywood.Paramount is rumored to be interested in producing though no official offer has been made. It would only make sense for them to acquire the project though. Last night's Hughes tribute has him fresh in everybody's minds and besides, they're making movies about f*cking bubblegum these days. At this rate we'll be lucky not to see a movie called, Hey, 'Member That Time I Farted? and its sequel, Hey, 'Member That Time I Farted Underwater?, within the next decade. (THR)