Upton stars in the latest Carl’s Jr. ad. These ads have become an institution, featuring an impossibly hot celebrity eating the diarrhea-inducing sandwiches in the most softcore way possible. Like pin up girls getting down on some fast food.

Critics of these ads feel these advertisements are in extremely bad taste as they reduce women into nothing more than props bent and manipulated for male entertainment. Props that we can now compare to one another and evaluate. And such, here are the five hottest Carl’s Jr ads ranked in order of hottest to most tame.

Kate Upton

Kate Upton deserves an award. All the awards actually. With her new Carl’s Jr ad she lifts the series out of a dark place where it had previously run a ground. Wearing this tiny polka dot dress, she bites into a spicy Carl’s Jr sandwich at the drive-inn. The resulting place causes her to writhe around and strip in the car‘s backseat. Not in a “Hey, we better call 9-1-1″ kind of way, but in a “Hey, I should be using my camera phone right now,” kind of way.

My only question though is, why would this girl have to take herself out on a date?

Watching this at the Internet Cafe will get you:

6 out of 6 craned necks.

Tonight, Top Chef ends its season and Padma Lakshmi regrettably covers up for the winter.

CHECK OUT WHAT TO WATCH AFTER THE JUMP

NOTE: ALL TIMES EASTERN & PACIFIC!!!

GLEE
Network: FOX
Time: 9 – 10PM

Reasons to watch: Quinn’s world unravels as sectionals approach. Chill, dude. They’re just sofas.

TOP CHEF: LAS VEGAS
Network: BRAVO
Time: 10 – 11PM

Reasons to watch: Season 6 comes to a close tonight and a winner is announced. If Wesley Snipes taught me anything, it’s to always bet on black. Is there a black dude on the show this year? Otherwise, I’m out some money.
 

BARBARA WALTERS PRESENTS: THE 10 MOST FASCINATING PEOPLE OF 2009
Network: ABC
Time: 10 – 11PM

Reasons to watch: Barbara Walters profiles Tyler Perry, Lady Gaga, Adam Lambert, Brett Favre, Kate Gosselin, Glenn Beck, Sarah Palin, Jenny Sanford, and Michael Jackson‘s kids. In other words, people that my mom will know all about tomorrow morning.
 

CSI: NY
Network: CBS
Time: 10 – 11PM

Reasons to watch: A frantic 911 call leads the team to a booby-trapped penthouse and a 100-year-old corpse. Man, that’s a long time. 911 are such slackers.

STEVEN SEAGAL: LAWMAN
Network: A&E
Time: 10 – 11PM

Reasons to watch: The K-9 Unit is called in. In a perfect world, it would be led by DMX.

WHO’S ON LATE

LENO
Quentin Tarantino

LETTERMAN
Rachel Weisz; Maryjean Ballner; Rob Thomas performs

CONAN
Snoop Dogg; Carl Reiner

KIMMEL
William Shatner; Kirstin McMillan

FERGUSON
Morgan Freeman; Overtone performs

FALLON
Bon Jovi; Susie Essman

The spiciest season yet of Top Chef premieres tonight on Bravo, and we can’t wait to see what kind of foodie antics host Padma Lakshmi doles out in Sin City.  This could quite possibly be the season where a naked Quick Fire Challenge gets things all hot and sweaty in the kitchen.  Sure, it’s unsanitary, but a nude Padma bossing those eager chefs around is too appealing of an idea to worry about E. coli.

A word from Padma: “In India, we like healthier, more voluptuous types.”

Amen, sister.  You gotta have something to grab on to.  Check out a few more pics of Padma and all of her voluptuousness after the jump!