Maybe Crispin Glover could co-host.

My vote is still for “John Goodman on a Treadmill” to host.

He made a mockery out of a mockery!

Who Else Would Want To Tweet From The Ocean’s Deepest Point?

We’re gonna have to admit soon that crime pays pretty damn well.

Even a broken clock is right twice a day.

Are there any movies I’m missing? Yeah. Probably tons.

Ah…the sweet smell of universal agreement.

A movie with no dialogue is preferable to a movie with dialogue written by Woody Allen.

Ugh, it’s so hard to care.

What do Berlin, Three 6 Mafia, Madonna, Isaac Hayes, Eminem, and Phil Collins have in common? Not much at all.

Decent performances, terrible films.

This is a controversy in the same way a “too-soon” Whitney Houston Facebook post is a controversy.

The Academy must be trying to set some sort of record for how terrible and self-important an organization can be.

If Billy Crystal found his way to this awards show, they would shoot him on sight.

“Let the 1st Annual Hollywood Hunger Games begin!”

Everything you wanted to know about the BAFTAs but were too smart to ask.

He just wants to retire into a normal doggie life. Why won’t we let him?

The dog is a dog because of its dog-ness, or so Gottfried Leibniz would have us believe.

Andy Serkis is the only person doing what he’s doing. He doesn’t need an award for that distinction.

That can’t be kosher…

“The most disturbing Oscars ever” is still better than a boring Oscar ceremony, right?

In a further show of solidarity with Ratner, the heavy gal from ‘Bridesmaids’ asked that her name be removed from consideration.

It’s not OK to make fun of people for how they were born, fatty!

I could see “Axel F” being redone by Cut Copy or Chromeo.

Will he wear a fat suit?