7 photosMilla Jovovich

Beyond that, we’re looking at an evil empire, somehow more that three musketeers, and the world’s most dangerous assassin, who happens to be a lady. That’s no typo…a lady assassin. Crazy!

Points for the film for casting Orlando Bloom, Milla Jovavich, and Christoph Waltz. Points against the film for having zero songs that feature the soothing voices of Sting, Bryan Adams, and Rod Stewart. We’ll say that’s a push.

Orlando Bloom was originally tapped for the role, but he dropped out of late-stage negotiations, leaving producers scrambling for a replacement before production starts later this month in New York. Kinnaman’s buzz almost certainly preceded him in the negotiations, with prominent roles in the upcoming Safehouse with Ryan Reynolds, David Fincher‘s The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, and AMC‘s “The Killing.”

Wow. He’s like a Swedish James Franco, or “Jann Franko,” if you will.

In case you’re a little rusty on your Tolkien, both of these titles come from chapters of the book (“An Unexpected Party” and “There and Back Again”).  Now, since I don’t have anything else to say about these confirmed titles, here’s a massive list of the cast:

See Video Of Peter Jackson’s ‘The Hobbit’ Being Made Before Your Very Eyes

Whew! No wonder the movie is in two parts. (ComingSoon)

“Ten years ago, Orlando Bloom created an iconic character with his portrayal of Legolas. I’m excited to announce today that we’ll be revisiting Middle Earth with him once more. I’m thrilled to be working with Orlando again. Funny thing is, I look older—and he doesn’t! I guess that’s why he makes such a wonderful elf.”

Orlando Bloom Seems Super Drunk

First up out of the corral is Dennis Quaid, who’s joining Jeremy Irons and Bradley Cooper in The Words. Quaid will play “Clay Hammond, a celebrated writer, in the tale in which Cooper’s character, another writer, discovers the price he must pay for stealing the work of another man, played by Irons.” Sounds like a rootin’-tootin’ good time, and also a meditation on creativity and plagiarism. (The Hollywood Reporter)

Next up under the branding iron are cowpokes Orlando Bloom and Nick Nolte, who’ve been cast in “coming-of-age road-trip comedy” Idea in America along with Stanley Tucci and Cristiana Capotondi. (The Hollywood Reporter)

The no. 3 spot on this rodeo is held by Helen Hunt, who’s a-gonna direct and star in romantic comedy Ride. A romantic comedy starring and directed by Helen Hunt? YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE-HAW!

Finally, we got England‘s Number 1 Wrangler Colin Firth, who will play the lead role in an untitled comedy to be directed by Dante Ariola from a script written by Becky Johnston. Here’s a plot synopsis, which rolls through your field of vision like a tumblin’ tumbleweed: “Firth plays a man who hates his job and is hated by his ex-wife and son. Feeling he missed his one shot at living the dream, he fakes his death and buys a new identity.” (Deadline)

Bloom may star alongside Greta Gerwig (Arthur) in Fox Searchlight‘s Lola Versus, directed by Daryl Wein, written by Wein & Zoe Lister-Jones, and Jones who will co-star. One of the perks of writing the script is penning a part and being like, “hmm, you know who’d be great for this? …Me.”

The romantic comedy is about a girl who gets dumped at the alter by her college sweetheart, then goes on a journey as a single woman. The ticking clock is: she’s about to turn 30. I can hear you gasping through the internet. Maybe Bloom will play the guy who helps her on her journey, and turns out to be “the one.” That’s a twist you’d never see coming. Or, you know, the opposite of that.

In June, the production team hopes to begin shooting in New York. (Variety)

“I’m really excited about going to see Pete again,” Bloom said. “That’ll be great. I’m looking forward to it. It’s still a littl up in the air but the idea of working with Pete would be fantastic. It’s looking like it and I can’t really talk too much about it at this point.”

It must be pretty close to certain though, given this development. “I just got given the script to piece through so it’s quite exciting.”

Bloom got the whole script, not just Legolas’s pages, although really there couldn’t be much of a spoiler for a classic novel. It would have to be a younger Legolas though, so Bloom joked about having to get back in shape.

“Are you telling me I’ve put on weight in the last 10 years?”

After Delicious, Bloom will next be seen in The Three Musketeers, but not buckling swash as it were. “When The Three Musketeers came along, it was like the Duke of Buckingham would be a fantastic role because it’s a completely different thing for me as opposed to being a musketeer. I get to be the giant petulant child in many ways that the Duke of Buckingham turns out to be.”

The period-based tale is centered on Marcus Attilius Primus, a young Roman engineer who works on the Aqua Augusta aqueduct that feeds the ancient cities of the Bay of Naples. While battling a vile real estate speculator who has a water embezzlement scheme, Primus learns that Vesuvius is about to erupt and races to warn his true love before it’s too late.

Sounds intriguing, and if you ask me, this version is a lot more appealing than the proposed Polanski version. Not just because of Towne, but because Orlando Bloom as the lead in an epic is just so, um… pre writers strike. (The Playlist)

Ruffalo helms this movie about a DJ who gets paralyzed. Okay. Then the DJ suddenly develops the power to heal people, but not himself. Uhm… okay? And did I mention the movie’s called Sympathy For Delicious? It’s hard to get over the plot and name to see the great cast in this trailer, which includes Orlando Bloom (as a character named “The Stain,” ho boy), Laura Linney, Juliette Lewis and some guy named Mark Ruffalo. Who’d he have to blow to get a lead role?

Written by and starring Christopher Thornton as DJ Delicious (repeat “blow” joke here, too – thank you), Sympathy For Delicious premiered at Sundance in January.

“Entertainment Tonight” stopped by the set of that Paul W.S. Anderson version The Three Musketeers that I can’t imagine anybody will want to go see (which, of course, means it will be the hugest hit and everyone except me will start wearing those queer floppy hats with the big feathers sticking out) to listen to Orlando Bloom act really, really high.

Not to compliment his acting, but I can’t tell if he’s faking it or not. He’s either doing an imitation of Captain Jack Sparrow or turning into Joaquin Phoenix. Or did he have a stroke? Whichever is the case, it’s pretty sad. The Orlando Bloom Beard Watch begins…… now.

Bloom will play poet Robert Graves, and the film will focus on Graves’ relationship with two women: Artist Nancy Nicholson (Kerry Condon) and American poet Laura Riding (Imogen Poots). Apparently the writer had an open relationship with the two women, and they all lived together for quite some time, until Graves began to like Riding better. Pun intended? Sure, why not.

The actor, who’s been relatively absent from prominent feature films for the last few years, seems to be back, both with this film and Paul W.S Anderson’s new Three Musketeers, as well as a rumored return to the role of Legalos in Peter Jacksons upcoming The Hobbit. He also seems to be back in time too, as all these films are period pieces. I’d like to show him an iPad and see if he gets scared. “AAAH, future man!” he’d say. Me and Bloom, boy do we have fun. (The Playlist)

In Summit Pictures re-imagining of the classic novel, D’Artagnan joins forces with his fellow Musketeers to stop an overthrow of the French throne and ultimately, a European war. Now check out this sweet ‘sketeer action!! (Coming Soon)

Peter Jackson already nabbed Cate Blanchett to reprise her role as Galadriel in The Hobbit, and now he’s about to land himself another pretty little elf.  Orlando Bloom is in talks to return as the wispy-haired archer Legolas.  According to Deadline, it won’t just be for a cameo either. He’s gonna be all up in that bitch shootin’ arrows at Orks and shit. Meanwhile, Ian McKellen is still holding out for Gandalf. C’moooon, just agree already, Sir. You know Andy Serkis needs you there for moral support.

^Uncanny.

JustJared snagged some snaps today from the set of What The Hell Is Orlando Bloom Doing? Here you can clearly see Orlando dressed like an asswipe along with Cristoph Waltz and Milla Jovovovovovovich. No photos yet of co-stars Logan Lerman, Mads Mikkelsen, Matthew Macfayden, Ray Stevenson, or Juno Temple, but I’m sure they look just as ridiculous. I’ll keep you posted.

Check out a full gallery after the jump…

Orlando Bloom won’t be shaving that weird facial hair anytime soon. The Elizabethtown actor has been cast as the Duke of Buckingham in Paul W.S. Anderson’s Th Three Musketeers. British comedian James Corden will also join the cast as the servant Planchet.

Previously cast are Christoph Waltz, Logan Lerman, Matthew MacFadyen, Ray Stevenson, Luke Evans, Mads Mikkelsen, and, of course, Anderson’s wife/zombie slayer Milla Jovovich. Considering Anderson’s film resume of mostly videogame adaptations, I’m really impressed by these casting announcements. It looks like this 3D take on the classic is picking up a lot of talented actors. And Milla Jovovich. (Variety)