Screen Junkies » ninja turtles Movie Reviews & TV Show Reviews Fri, 29 Aug 2014 17:39:03 +0000 en hourly 1 7 Adaptations With Unneeded Changes To The Back Story Mon, 26 Mar 2012 17:43:44 +0000 Wookie Johnson I fear change.

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Michael Bay ruffled both nerd and non-nerd feathers recently with his decision to turn the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles into Teenage Alien Ninja Turtles for the Platinum Dunes remake. There was outrage. Outrage that has now been followed up with aging the turtles up so that they are no longer teen-aged. Bay maintains that it will provide the characters with a rich back story. Given his track record, however, it seems like a lame back story. Let’s also assume that one of the turtles now exclusively speaks in rhyme.

Point being, this switch up in their mythos is wholly unnecessary and will only end as a mess. This is nothing new in the world of movie adaptations. Writers and directors are always providing small, unneeded tweaks to help make the projects stand apart from their earlier iterations. In some cases, it’s even welcomed. But in the case of Ninja Turtles it’s entirely unnecessary. Why not just make a movie about alien ninjas if you want to pervert the name recognition so badly?

Look at the below films and take notes, Mr. Bay, before you put more of your bad touch on the turtles.


Tim Burton took Batman’s arch nemesis The Joker into deeper arch nemesis-y waters with his take on the character in 1989′s Batman. In the film, Batman’s origin stays true to the classic storyline… for the most part. Yes, his parents are killed before his eyes by a mugger when he is just a boy. This sets Bruce Wayne on a path for vengeance, training and developing technologies to take back the streets of Gotham as the Caped Crusader, Batman.

In the original storyline, it’s a thug named Joe Chill who slays the Waynes. However in Burton’s take it is Jack Napier, who will later become The Joker, that pulls the trigger thus creating the Bat.

Spider-Man 3

In order to create the dark Spidey for Spider-Man 3, filmmakers had to do something to bring out Peter Parker’s anger. They chose to draw this rage from the mild-mannered photographer by rewriting the history of the sh*ttiest moment of his life — the murder of his Uncle Ben.

This version of the story sees Flint Marko, the man who becomes Sandman, as the partner to the carjacker who killed Peter’s beloved uncle. This sets Spider-Man on a path for vengeance that places a heavy burden on him when he gives in to his most violent impulses.

Also, the alien symbiote suit arrives to Earth via a meteorite that practically lands in Peter Parker’s picnic basket. Weak.

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It’s Groundhog Day, So Here Are Our 7 Favorite Film And TV Rodents Thu, 02 Feb 2012 15:00:32 +0000 Penn Collins I'd let these guys crawl up my toilet any day. It's not just gators that do that, folks.

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Groundhog Day is fast approaching, and America is prepared to meet it, as always, with a collective, “Huh.” Rather than just pay lip service to this high holiday, I would like to take a moment and discuss what Groundhog Day means to me. Every year, Groundhog Day serves as a reminder to take a little time out of my day and appreciate all the rodents that make life worth living.

Sadly, I don’t have many rodent friends in real life. I keep a clean house and largely steer clear of Koreatown, so most of my rodent encounters are in the movies. But that doesn’t mean they’re any less profound. Here are five furry rodents that bring me enough joy to fight off the crippling pain of the nightmare that is my life.

Fievel Mousekowitz – An American Tail

I’ll be honest, when I was introduced to Fievel in 1986, I was six years old and the Cold War was still in full swing. Needless to say, as a red-blooded American boy, there was no one on this earth I hated more than that Commie rat bastard.

However, a few years later, Rocky IV taught me that we all can change, and as I grew, I realized that not only was it time to forgive, but that An American Tail took place in 1885, long before such a thing as communism even existed. As such, I began to empathize and even like Fievel as a symbol of not only the American Dream, but as a an adorable mouse, albeit a filthy Russian one.

I’ll be honest. I still have pretty mixed feelings about Fievel Mousekowitz, even now. But I want to stop hating him for being Russian, so putting him on this list is a small step for me.

Theodore the Chipmunk – Alvin and the Chipmunks: Chipwrecked

I’m not THAT partial to Theodore, but I wanted to include a Chipmunk, and I find the other two insufferable. Alvin is a Paris Hilton-type who would probably wither up and die if he didn’t get attention for three seconds, and Simon is like a furry Woody Allen, which is better than a regular Woody Allen, but still not that great.

Theodore is fat and dumb, just like most of my friends, so it’s pretty clear that I have a type. Also, Theodore’s innocence would make it easy for me to exploit him, which I would definitely do.

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