Just give Axe Cop all the bacon and eggs you have.

Eat your onions.

You’re gay if you DON’T want to see this. That’s just what I feel.

Featuring Nick Offerman.

Ron %&^*ing Swanson.

They’ll be playing parents in separate families, so we can probably rule out lovemaking scenes.

Oprah proved too difficult a get.

As if it were possible for the man behind Ron Swanson to look any more badass, the dude goes and grows a beard.