Screen Junkies » new moon http://www.screenjunkies.com Movie Reviews & TV Show Reviews Fri, 15 Aug 2014 17:45:16 +0000 en hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 A Guy’s Guide To ‘The Twilight Saga: New Moon’ http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-review/a-guys-guide-to-the-twilight-saga-new-moon/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-review/a-guys-guide-to-the-twilight-saga-new-moon/#comments Fri, 18 Nov 2011 17:32:40 +0000 Nicholas Pell http://www.screenjunkies.com/?p=237009 I watched this crap so you don't have to.

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The Twilight Saga: New Moon is the totally self-important title of the second Twilight film. Here we see the further adventures of Beautiful Swan and Edward “Pedo Bear” Cullen. This is the movie where Bella experiences loss, starts seeing ghosts and hangs out with some Native American werewolf dude until her boyfriend comes back to her. We suffered so you don’t have to, gents.

Check out a Guy’s Guide to The Twilight Characters, Twilight, and The Twilight Saga: Eclipse

Summary

After the events of Twilight, Edward decides that Bella is safer without him around. This is obviously stupid, because the vampire pack that looks like the Black Eyed Peas are probably pretty pissed that their blond friend got killed in the last movie. Whatever will Bells do without the superhuman strength of a sparkly vampire to protect her?

Even though Edward leaves, Bella keeps seeing him around in ghost form. But while she waits for him to return, she does all kinds of attention-seeking nonsense, including riding a motorcycle (SO EDGY). She also gets pretty close with Jacob the werewolf boy, and he helps her build a motorcycle. Of course, she’s just killing time with Jacob until her wonderful Edward comes back.

Because Edward has a sister who can see the future very poorly, he mistakenly thinks Bella will try to kill herself. As such, he decides to kill himself by heading off to Italy and pissing off vampire royalty known as the Volturi. At the end of the movie, Bella saves Edward and the Volturi tell Edward he has to make Bella into a vampire. They both pretend like this might not happen, even though everyone who has ever seen a movie knows that it will eventually. Also, Edward pressures Bella to marry, making him unlike any man who has ever lived.

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Edward and Jacob ‘Twilight’ Man-Pillows http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/edward-and-jacob-twilight-man-pillows/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/edward-and-jacob-twilight-man-pillows/#comments Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000 No... No. NO. NO! NO!!!!!!! They've created half-man, half-pillow hybrid beasts called manllows! Even if you do want to rub your privates against Robert Pattinson and Taylor Lautner, these THINGS are just freakish versions of them. But I guess a freakish, stroke-victim-faced version is all some disillusioned girls need. (FilmDrunk)Hilarious The Bachelor Recap For Fans/Non-Fans (NotZombies)Oscar Producers Tell Nominees to Shut Up (Moviefone)Improper Condom Fit is a Major Problem (Asylum)25 Awesome Guitars (HolyTaco)Team China Sexual Stretches at the Olympics (TotalProSports)Conquest MMA Model Cali-Luv (CagePotato)Live Avatar Role-Playing (Unreality)Video Game Vixens (Maxim)Selena Gomez Causes Lesbian Mob at the Mall (CelebJihad)The Best Female Action Heroes (Pajiba)One Nerd's Obsession with Megan Fox (Atom)The Daytona 500 In Pictures (AllLeftTurns)How to Party for Free in NYC (MadeMan)

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No… No. NO. NO! NO!!!!!!! They’ve created half-man, half-pillow hybrid beasts called manllows! Even if you do want to rub your privates against Robert Pattinson and Taylor Lautner, these THINGS are just freakish versions of them. But I guess a freakish, stroke-victim-faced version is all some disillusioned girls need. (FilmDrunk)

Hilarious The Bachelor Recap For Fans/Non-Fans (NotZombies)

Oscar Producers Tell Nominees to Shut Up (Moviefone)

Improper Condom Fit is a Major Problem (Asylum)

25 Awesome Guitars (HolyTaco)

Team China Sexual Stretches at the Olympics (TotalProSports)

Conquest MMA Model Cali-Luv (CagePotato)

Liv Avatar Role-Playing (Unreality)

Video Game Vixens (Maxim)

Selena Gomez Causes Lesbian Mob at the Mall (CelebJihad)

The Best Female Action Heroes (Pajiba)

One Nerd’s Obsession with Megan Fox (Atom)

The Daytona 500 In Pictures (AllLeftTurns)

How to Party for Free in NYC (MadeMan)

 

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Rethink Your ‘New Moon’ Status Update http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/rethink-your-new-moon-status-update/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/rethink-your-new-moon-status-update/#comments Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000 Will's kinda got a point...You should be accepting of these links.If Celebrities Looked Like Their Names (HolyTaco)Stacy Keibler: Wrestler, Dancer, Soccer Player (TotalProSports)Order These Mail-Order Brides (TheChive)Sundance 2010 Preview (Moviefone)Terry Gilliam's Thoughts on Avatar (FilmDrunk)Marisa Miller Remains an Angel (Maxim)21 Top-Heavy Girls (Manofest)5 Best Legal Shows of All Time (Pajiba)Miranda Kerr Spread in GQ Magazine (CelebJihad)An Inside Look at Pixar Studios (Unreality)Captain Kirk's Future Birthplace (Asylum)Your Sexual Encounters via Timeline (RegretfulMorning)How to Pick Up a Rich Girl (MadeMan)NASCAR Media Tour: Behind the Scenes (AllLeftTurns)

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Will’s kinda got a point…

You should be accepting of these links.

If Celebrities Looked Like Their Names (HolyTaco)

Stacy Keibler: Wrestler, Dancer, Soccer Player (TotalProSports)

Order These Mail-Order Brides (TheChive)

Sundance 2010 Preview (Moviefone)

Terry Gilliam’s Thoughts on Avatar (FilmDrunk)

Marisa Miller Remains an Angel (Maxim)

21 Top-Heavy Girls (Manofest)

5 Best Legal Shows of All Time (Pajiba)

Miranda Kerr Spread in GQ Magazine (CelebJihad)

An Inside Look at Pixar Studios (Unreality)

Captain Kirk’s Future Birthplace (Asylum)

Your Sexual Encounters via Timeline (RegretfulMorning)

How to Pick Up a Rich Girl (MadeMan)

NASCAR Media Tour: Behind the Scenes (AllLeftTurns)

 

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‘New Moon’ Actress Ashley Greene http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/new-moon-actress-ashley-greene/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/new-moon-actress-ashley-greene/#comments Fri, 20 Nov 2009 19:00:18 +0000 Defy Media  Ashley Greene has starred in TV shows such as Crossing Jordan and Shark, but her big break came when she was cast as Alice Cullen in Twilight. Now she's reprising that role in New Moon, and I'm guessing that trend will continue for two more movies.A word from Ashley: "I think I’d like to play one of the villain vampires!"Be grateful for the role you were given!And YOU be grateful for the pics after the jump.

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Ashley Greene has starred in TV shows such as Crossing Jordan and Shark, but her big break came when she was cast as Alice Cullen in Twilight. Now she’s reprising that role in New Moon, and I’m guessing that trend will continue for two more movies.

A word from Ashley: I think I’d like to play one of the villain vampires!

Be grateful for the role you were given!

And YOU be grateful for the pics after the jump.

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Conan O’Brien Warns Parents Against ‘New Moon’ http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/conan-obrien-warns-parents-against-new-moon/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/conan-obrien-warns-parents-against-new-moon/#comments Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000 Last night on The Tonight Show, Conan O'Brien brought to the public's attention some inappropriate content that seems to infest tomorrow's much anticipated release New Moon. As if a pack of shirtless werewolves wasn't a bad enough slaughter of a teen's moral fiber, they had to take it three steps farther. If I had a teenage daughter she would NOT be seeing New Moon tomorrow. No siree. I'd rather she'd be having unprotected sex with some townie at a kegger than being exposed to this filth. 

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Last night on The Tonight Show, Conan O’Brien brought to the public’s attention some inappropriate content that seems to infest tomorrow’s much anticipated release New Moon. As if a pack of shirtless werewolves wasn’t a bad enough slaughter of a teen’s moral fiber, they had to take it three steps farther. If I had a teenage daughter she would NOT be seeing New Moon tomorrow. No siree. I’d rather she’d be having unprotected sex with some townie at a kegger than being exposed to this filth. 

 

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‘New Moon’ Actress Anna Kendrick http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/new-moon-actress-anna-kendrick/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/new-moon-actress-anna-kendrick/#comments Thu, 19 Nov 2009 19:10:20 +0000 Defy Media Anna Kendrick is just so damn adorable. She's also a natural born actress. She was great in the movie Rocket Science as a fast talking master debater, I'm sure she's great in New Moon (I'll ask some tween), and she's already getting major buzz for her role opposite The Clooney in Up in the Air. A word from Anna: "I'm a big dork."Adorable!Check out more ADORABLE pics after the jump.

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Anna Kendrick is just so damn adorable. She’s also a natural born actress. She was great in the movie Rocket Science as a fast talking master debater, I’m sure she’s great in New Moon (I’ll ask some tween), and she’s already getting major buzz for her role opposite The Clooney in Up in the Air.

A word from Anna: “I’m a big dork.”

Adorable!

Check out more ADORABLE pics after the jump.

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Tom Cruise’s Leaked ‘New Moon’ Audition http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/tom-cruises-leaked-new-moon-audition/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/tom-cruises-leaked-new-moon-audition/#comments Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000 LEAKED: New Moon Auditions - Watch more Funny VideosC'mon Tom, you already played a vampire. Why you gotta weasle your way in to the current hottest Hollywood franchise? Help me help you click on these links. A User's Guide to Boob Terminology (HolyTaco) Kobe Bryant Hits Amazing Circus Shot (TotalProSports) Chicks + Cameras + Mirrors (TheChive) Travolta is an Idiot (FilmDrunk) Boldly Go Where No Bloopers Have Gone Before (SuperTremendous) Best Chick Flicks of All Time (Pajiba) 50 Cent and Michael Bay Bang Groupies (CelebJihad) Neil Patrick Harris's Very First Tweets (Unreality) 10 Things You Should Never Say to a Gamer Girl (Asylum) Anna Kournikova Ass Update: Still Tight (BustedCoverage) Little Girl Owned Hard by Door (RegretfulMorning) Least Safe Vehicle of the Year (MadeMan) Homestead Crash Videos (AllLeftTurns) Undercover Cop Gets Ass Kicked on City Bus (NothingToxic) The iPhone Affair (Atom)

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LEAKED New Moon Auditions – Watch more Funny Videos

C’mon Tom, you already played a vampire. Why you gotta weasle your way in to the current hottest Hollywood franchise?

Help me help you click on these links.

A User’s Guide to Boob Terminology (HolyTaco)

Kobe Bryant Hits Amazing Circus Shot (TotalProSports)

Chicks + Cameras Mirrors (TheChive)

Travolta is an Idiot (FilmDrunk)

Boldly Go Where No Bloopers Have Gone Before (SuperTremendous)

Best Chick Flicks of All Time (Pajiba)

50 Cent and Michael Bay Bang Groupies (CelebJihad)

Neil Patrick Harris’s Very First Tweets (Unreality)

10 Things You Should Never Say to a Gamer Girl (Asylum)

Anna Kournikova Ass Update: Still Tight (BustedCoverage)

Little Girl Owned Hard by Door (RegretfulMorning)

Least Safe Vehicle of the Year (MadeMan)

Homestead Crash Videos (AllLeftTurns)

Undercover Cop Gets Ass Kicked on City Bus (NothingToxic)

The iPhone Affair (Atom)

 

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‘New Moon’ Actress Nikki Reed http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/new-moon-actress-nikki-reed/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/new-moon-actress-nikki-reed/#comments Wed, 18 Nov 2009 19:00:52 +0000 Defy Media Nikki Reed wrote the screenplay for the movie Thirteen at fifteen. It would have been more impressive if she would have written it at thirteen, but whatever. I guuuuess it's still quite an accomplishment. Now Nikki is reprising her role of Rosalie in New Moon. At 21 years of age. A word from Nikki: "I had hoped that girls all over the world would relate to Thirteen." I'm sure all the slutty, druggy ones did. Courtney Love probably balled while watching that movie. Balled right into her mound of cocaine.  The pics after the jump will have you doing the opposite of balling.

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Nikki Reed wrote the screenplay for the movie Thirteen at fifteen. It would have been more impressive if she would have written it at thirteen, but whatever. I guuuuess it’s still quite an accomplishment. Now Nikki is reprising her role of Rosalie in New Moon. At 21 years of age.

A word from Nikki: “I had hoped that girls all over the world would relate to Thirteen.”

I’m sure all the slutty, druggy ones did. Courtney Love probably balled while watching that movie. Balled right into her mound of cocaine.

The pics after the jump will have you doing the opposite of balling.

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‘New Moon’ Actress Noot Seear http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/new-moon-actress-noot-seear/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/new-moon-actress-noot-seear/#comments Tue, 17 Nov 2009 19:00:38 +0000 Defy Media Noot. Hehehe. What a silly name. It works in Aliens, but makes me giggle in the real world. Noot (hehehe, stop it!) is another model turned actress, and she's busting her career wide open by playing Heidi in New Moon. We'll see if she's got the goods, in an acting sense, by her ability to deliver more than a pouty expression.A word from Noot: "I think there’s something about flying that heightens emotion, because I was literally crying the whole way through each of those books."Of course flying heightens emotions. That's why (I've heard) sex in an airplane bathroom totally rocks. So put down your damn tween novel and go join the Mile High Club. Earns your wings by checking out more pics after the jump.

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Noot. Hehehe. What a silly name. It works in Aliens, but makes me giggle in the real world. Noot (hehehe, stop it!) is another model turned actress, and she’s busting her career wide open by playing Heidi in New Moon. We’ll see if she’s got the goods, in an acting sense, by her ability to deliver more than a pouty expression.

A word from Noot: “I think there’s something about flying that heightens emotion, because I was literally crying the whole way through each of those books.”

Of course flying heightens emotions. That’s why (I’ve heard) sex in an airplane bathroom totally rocks. So put down your damn tween novel and go join the Mile High Club.

Earns your wings by checking out more pics after the jump.

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New Moon http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/films/new-moon/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/films/new-moon/#comments Wed, 04 Nov 2009 17:50:34 +0000 Reza F. Director: Chris WeitzCast: Kristen Stewart, Robert Pattinson, Taylor LautnerSynopsis: The Twilight vampire Saga continues...

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Director: Chris Weitz

Cast: Kristen Stewart, Robert Pattinson, Taylor Lautner

Synopsis: The Twilight vampire Saga continues…

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New Moon: ‘Meet the Volturi’ Video http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/new-moon-meet-the-volturi-video/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/new-moon-meet-the-volturi-video/#comments Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000 We here at Screen Junkies don't pretend to know a great deal about the Twilight Saga, but that doesn't mean we're not willing to learn. As outsiders, and men, sparkling vampires just don't seem like our cup of blood (see what I did there?), but we're willing to have a civil discussion in the comments section regarding the fervent passion some feel toward Bella and Edward.  Below is a featurette modeled after the reality show Meet the Kardashians except with nefarious vampires. You might have trouble discerning the difference at first, but you'll soon realize that Bruce Jenner deals with a breed of bloodsuckers far more depraved than the Volturi. 

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We here at Screen Junkies don’t pretend to know a great deal about the Twilight Saga, but that doesn’t mean we’re not willing to learn. As outsiders, and men, sparkling vampires just don’t seem like our cup of blood (see what I did there?), but we’re willing to have a civil discussion in the comments section regarding the fervent passion some feel toward Bella and Edward.

 

Below is a featurette modeled after the reality show Meet the Kardashians except with nefarious vampires. You might have trouble discerning the difference at first, but you’ll soon realize that Bruce Jenner deals with a breed of bloodsuckers far more depraved than the Volturi. 


New Moon Meet the Volturi Featurette – Watch more Funny Videos

[Dread Central via MySpace]

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