So, before you and the family plan your next vacation, why not give New Hampshire a shot. It is tax free after all.

On Golden Pond

New Hampshire plays just as an important role in On Golden Pond as its leads do. Henry Fonda and Katherine Hepburn star as a couple of old fogies who spend their summers at their lake house. Or pond house. Or whatever. Their traditional routine is shaken up when their estranged daughter arrives and asks them to watch her boyfriend’s kid while they go somewhere and get freaky. They seem like pretty cool parents to me.

Upon return, the daughter is upset to find that the boy and her grumpy dad have bounded over fishing trips and grown closer than she was ever able to. Question, if she knew her dad was bad with kids, why would she leave one with him while she goes off to get her tires kicked? Not cool, lady. She has no room to complain.

Jumanji

New Hampshire is overrun with jungle animals, poisonous plant life, and scariest of all, an epic-bearded Robin Williams. Williams returns from being trapped in a twenty-six year bender in the Jumanji game to find that his hometown is in a pretty bad stae since he first left it. His disappearance has caused the local economy to crash and family and friends are either dead or depressed.

I don’t really understand why. Yes, it’s sad when an 11-year old is sucked into a magical board game, but not so sad that it should ruin a community. Just have a candlelight vigil and an occasional article in the newspaper. Gotta move on, wimps.

In the Mouth of Madness

Stephen King has done his damndest to try to solidify Maine as the creepiest state in New England. However, John Carpenter wanted to point out that New Hampshire can also be scary as sh*t. In the Mouth of Madness sends Sam Neill‘s investigator to Hobb’s End, New Hampshire, to search for a missing author.

Instead, he finds himself in the middle of one of the author’s stories, surrounded by his fictional characters. He’s slowly driven insane as the townspeople mutate into grotesque monsters that torment him. I’m sure this movie is not a favorite with the new Hampshire Board of Tourism.