In this scene, NPH uses his homosexual cover story to lure a backup dancer into his dressing room. And since he’s so non-threatening, what’s the harm in some nude massage? After all, they’re just a couple of girlfriends, right?

At any rate, if you’re anxious to see how this ends (hint: it ends poorly), go and pre-order the Blu-ray. Tell them Jame Gumb sent you, and receive absolutely no discount.

While I did enjoy the film, there’s no sense in pretending it was a masterpiece. There are times when the plot becomes overly sappy, and focuses too much on the strained relationship of Harold & Kumar. I know some semblance of a story is necessary even in a stoner comedy, but why drag it out in a film like this? We know they are going to patch things up from the moment we realize there’s a conflict, so there’s no need for sappy, sentimental monologues about friendship.

Another problem I had with the film was the nudity. There wasn’t enough. This is already an R-rated movie, so why pull punches? There were several times where I found myself wondering “Why isn’t she getting topless?” Before you throw a rock at my face, keep in mind I’m not talking about a random female actress playing a waitress. I’m talking about actresses involved in the film’s various sex scenes. If this was almost any other movie, I wouldn’t be acting like such a sexist pig. But this is a Harold & Kumar sequel, so I don’t feel out of line having these expectations.

But those minor (and stupid) points aside, I have no real complaints about this film. Yes, it’s sexist, racially insensitive garbage, but that’s what it sets out to be. Besides, in my opinion, a talking, self-aware, waffle-making robot (which this film prominently features) makes up for anything in the politically incorrect department. So if you’re in the mood for some cheap, often twisted laughs, check it out (or save some cash, and watch it on Netflix in a few months).

But if you’ve uttered the phrase “that’s offensive” any time in the pas 24 hours, go watch Stuck Between Stations. Also, lighten the f*ck up.

“He’s a song and dance man and he’s happy holiday and also may smoke some crack cocaine and try and force himself into one of the dancers,” Harris said. “That’s all I’ll say about that.”

Note that right now, Harris is promoting the family friendly Smurfs film. But figure the NPH of the Harold & Kumar franchise must have earned his invitation to the family Christmas party.

“Oh, he’s far from invited to Christmas,” Harris added. “They come upon him in a very hilarious way.”

A Very Harold & Kumar Christmas is out this November.

The movie stars Neil Patrick Harris, Jayma Mays, and Sofía Vergara, and is an update of the popular/scorned children’s TV show. I don’t know what else to say about this trailer. Take your kids, I’m sure they’ll be into it.

The show begins with Marshall leaving his job at GNB in order to pursue a position at an environmental firm. However, his manager, Arthur (Bob Odenkirk), sabotages his chances by telling the prospective employer that Marshall hates the environment, clubs baby seals, and comes to work without pants.

Angered by the double cross, Marshall decides to get back at his former employer by lending his support to Zoey’s cause (preventing the demolition of the Arcadian Hotel by GNB). This angers Barney to no end. He helped Marshall land the job, and feels completely betrayed. Vowing revenge, Barney does something, most likely of a sexual nature, to Marshall’s megaphone.

As retaliation, Marshall spreads rumors that Barney is married to a pregnant woman and that he has crabs that have been diagnosed with herpes. As a result, the confrontation escalates to the point of a physical fight, which gets everyone banned from the bar. Desperate for a resolution, the girls decide to get the guys wasted with the hope that they will then be able to open up to each other emotionally. This requires the right type of alcohol, so the girls do some research to figure out the perfect cocktail. Martini’s are ruled out, since it brings out the bisexual in Lily. Red wine is ruled out, because it turns Barney into a sad, introspective drunk. Absinthe is also off the table, since it sends Robin into an alternate reality in which she thinks she is part of a baby’s dream.

Ted, who is getting ready to go on a trip with Zoey, suggests bourbon, since it gives him the uncanny ability to beat box. However, Lily informs him that bourbon only causes him to think he’s a good beat boxer, a revelation which shatters his ego.

Other drinks are ruled out for various reasons, including the fact that some cause Marshall to become violent (hence the clip below, where he plays chicken with a mirror). Eventually, the two men end up patching things up over beers. They are readmitted to the bar, and all is right with the world…or so it seems.

Meanwhile, Ted and Zoey are fighting over the Arcadian Hotel. Ted can’t understand why Zoey would jeopardize his firm’s project over such a run-down dump. In order to prove his point, he cancels their weekend getaway and books a room at the Arcadian. Despite the communal bathrooms and the lingering threat of hooker ghosts, Zoey maintains her love for the hotel, confessing that when she was younger, her poverty stricken family was forced to live there. After the revelation, Ted confesses his love to Zoey, but the moment is quickly broken up by the appearance of the cockamouse, the half-roach half-mouse creature that used to live at Ted’s apartment. It has now settled at the hotel, and Ted is touched to see it is raising a family. Zoey is less than impressed, and the two flee the hotel.

The next morning, Marshall and Barney wake up and begin fighting as if nothing has changed. Confused, the girls determine that the men ended up drinking so much that they blacked out and forgot about the reconciliation. Disappointed, Lily and Robin decide to drown their sorrows in Absinthe.

So, at the end of the episode, both Ted and Marshall are aligned against Barney over the issue of the hotel, and Zoey and Ted seem to be growing even closer in their relationship. With just a few more episodes left in the season, how will these issues resolve? Prediction, Zoey will chain herself to the hotel, and will be killed during its demolition, wrapping up all the lose ends in a satisfying matter.

I feel bad for Neil Patrick Harris, who looks like he’s playing the role of Non-Threatening Anxious Caretaker Of Kooky Talking Creatures. We saw the exact same character in Alvin and the Chipmunks and Yogi Bear. Wait, if they’re all the same character, does that mean their universes tie together? Will there be a CG movie starring The Smurfs Yogi Bear and Alvin and the Chipmunks? Okay, now I’ve just Smurfed myself. In terror.

Smurfing into a smurf smurf shitty smurf theater shit-smurf August 3rd. (Deadline)

Fox just released the first two minutes of their upcoming animated film Rio. The overly cheerful singing, the obnoxiously bright colors, the cute wittle baby bird who’s just wearning how to fwy… Now I wish I was a bird, so I’d have the claws to claw my god damn eyes out. If you’re really into The Enchanted Tiki Room at Disneyland, and not in a let’s-get-high-and-laugh-at-how-retarded-this-is way, then this 3D movie is clearly for you.

Rio is directed by Carlos Saldanha, who did all the Ice Age movies and Robots. So after this clip, that’s really bad sign #2. However, a few promising elements are soaring above the mess of bird shit. The cast includes Jesse Eisenberg, Neil Patrick Harris and Anne Hathaway. Also, the plot doesn’t sound too terrible:

“A nerdy macaw who leaves the comforts of his cage in small town Minnesota and heads to Rio de Janeiro. He embarks on the adventure of a lifetime, learning to open himself up to all that life has to offer along the way.”

Actually, the coolest sounding news surrounding Rio is that Rovio is making a Rio-themed sequel to their Angry Birds iPhone game. I’m an Angry Birds addict, so the thought of using these cloying birds as living weapons to destroy pigs in towers has me excited. Sexually excited? Let’s not go there, but yes.

Wait, I just read a little further and apparently you use the original Angry Birds to rescue the characters from Rio. So… now I’m thinking it’s time to take my 28 gauge out of the tool shack, cause I’m declaring this bird season. (/Film and TheWrap)

“How I Met Your Mother” is a comedy with as many secrets as “Lost.” I can’t really spoil anything that happens in the season premiere, so I’ll just try to talk about the comedy and tease the cool stuff that develops in the plot.

It opens with something that a new viewer to the show might think is a big reveal. Of course we know they never get right to the point. They like to set up some future event and then go back and slowly lead back up to it until we realize what we thought we were seeing wasn’t actually what we were seeing.

More after the jump…

Then we immediately go to a Barney scene, ranting about something a little sexist but something we can all agree on. The main body of the show is about another group phenomenon that’s immature, yet everyone abides by it. I love how “HIMYM” analyzes those rules we all follow.

Ted has a relationship dilemma to face at MacLaren’s. Marshall and Lily have an issue with boundaries and agreements. Robin’s in a bad place this episode and Cobie Smulders goes at it with full confidence.

Each of the three storylines has a bunch of shenanigans attached to it. They flash forward, have a fantasy or have a real celebration that’s inappropriate in the real world but hilarious on a sitcom.

Barney has a heartfelt moment, poignant and of course followed by a Barneyism. The boys come up with some new schticks and reactions to them that truly feel like lifelong friends’ interaction. Even the one-off jokes about someone in the bar or a character’s reaction are pretty observant about people in general.

So stuff happens in the return of “How I Met Your Mother” and it’s a solid episode for the show. They’ve got some heart, some basic humor and a little surrealism to elevate it above the usual sitcom.

"How I Met Your Mother" returns September 20th at 8/7c on CBS.

Neil Patrick Harris (the actor and the character) is returning for the third installment of the Harold and Kumar trilogy. Harris joins the original stars, John Cho and Kal Penn, as well as newcomers Patton Oswalt and Thomas Lennon.

The film, currently titled A Very Harold & Kumar Christmas, has already begun shooting at a mall in Michigan. Unfortunately, it’s not slated for release until Christmas of 2011. If that bums you out, just get stoned, click here, and forget I said anything. (Empire Online)

Quick everyone! Neil Patrick Harris is saying things!! And these things he’s saying may mean that Dr. Horrible 2 will be a feature length film.

“Apparently they’re making a ‘Dr. Horrible‘ sequel — a feature film, I hope.”

Or it won’t be! But assuming it is, they have a fine line to walk in order to successfully pull off the camp and low budget look of the original web series.

“You don’t want to necessarily make the feature film be an $80 million giant movie, because it defeats the purpose of what the first film was made to be… Then again, you don’t want it to be so low-brow that it’s not worth paying money to see as a movie.” [**cough, cough Ironclad**]

To recapitulate, Joss Whedon is making a sequel to a web series which its star HOPES will be a feature film. And if it is a feature film, they’ll have to spend more money. The end. This information brought to you by a slow news weekend. (MTV)

The long-gestating Smurfs film project is gaining traction now that the animation tests are finished. Popular song and dance man, Neil Patrick Harris has been cast in an unspecified live-action role in the upcoming film. Thus he joins the illustrious ranks of Jason Lee, Breckin Meyer, Matthew Lillard, and Jerry O’Connell before him.

The openly gay star is beloved for his talented turns in How I Met Your Mother, Dr. Horrible’s Sing-Along Blog, Doogie Howser M.D., the Harold and Kumar films and as host of the Emmys. Though it is unclear whether he will play a human who encounters the Smurfs or the fugly wizard Gargamel, I’m sure he will ably class up this project.

Going forward all Richard Gere/Gerbil jokes should be replaced with NPH/Smurf jokes. Homophobes everywhere, please update your dogmatic joke books accordingly. (Deadline Hollywood)