Robert Dewey Hoskins, who served a 10-year prison sentence for stalking Madonna and who may or may not have been the inspiration for the youngest child on Malcolm in the Middle, has escaped from the Metropolitan State Hospital near Los Angeles. By escaped, I mean he just walked away. Bang-up job, Metropolitan State Hospital.

Authorities say Hoskins is “highly psychotic when not taking his medication and has very violent tendencies.” How “violent” and “psychotic” are we talking? Well, he once threatened to cut Madonna “from ear to ear” if she didn’t marry him. Yikes! You’d have to be crazy to want to marry Madonna!

Whatever wacky hijinx Hoskins has in store, he’d better get a move on. The Material Girl (god I hate calling her that) is set to embark on a world tour in the next few months, and I’d hate for him to miss out on the opportunity to get annihilated by her security team because she’s out of the country.

World Peace! (Source)

Maybe we can lure the stalker in with these Madonna photos.

Cornelius hosted for 22 years before retiring in 1993. The show would remain on the air until 2006. It’s 35 years on the air earned it the honor of being the longest-running first-run nationally syndicated show in television history.

It’s sad to see a man who had such an impact on our culture go out in such a tragic way. The best we can do is look back at Soul Train’s great performances and awesomely retro dances. Drop the needle.

Awesome Line Dance To Rufus’s “Once You Get Started”

Just a little something to get us warmed up.

O’Jay’s “I Love Music“

Now we’re getting there.

The Trammps “Where Do We Go From Here?”

Gotta love the talking intro.

Harold Melvin & The Blue Notes “Bad Luck”

The sweetest arm moves start at 0:31.

Tavares “Check It Out”

Pretty sure this song is sung by a Soul Accountant.

LaMont Dozier “Fish Ain’t Bitin’”

Wow. That microphone has excellent pick up.

The Fifth Dimension “One Less Bell To Answer”

Is she in a neck brace?

The Joneses “Sugar Pie Guy”

As if the authority of matching pink tuxedos isn’t enough to captivate you, skip ahead to the 0:52 mark. Spo-Dough-Bow.

The Moments “Just Because He Wants To Make Love”

Now, something slow. Grab your best girl and hold her tight.

Isley Brothers “Who’s That Lady?”

Time to pick it back up.

The Dramatics “In The Rain”

How dramatic? In studio lightning effects for starters.

The Intruders “I Bet He Don’t Love You (Like I Love You)”

Not sure why this was performed on a spooky castle set. I’m not complaining. I’m just not sure.

The Futures “I Had A Dream”

Frankly, it’s nice to hear a soul song that utilizes the didgeridoo.

Faith Hope & Charity “Don’t Go Looking For Love”

I’m more captivated by this performance than anything on modern reality shows.

The Jackson Five “All I Do Is Think Of You”

And let’s close with a classic.

She was selected for the show due exclusively to buzz, as her output at the time of her selection consisted of a two-song web EP. As such, it would appear that Del Rey wasn’t prepeared for the gig. She appeared visibly nerous and seemed to make several mistakes during the performances, prompting no less than Brian Williams to write an email to Gawker panning her performance.

Here are a handful of other notorious SNL performances that would have undoubtedly upset Brian Williams as well.

Ke$ha

The performances here fall into two groups, largely. Performances by shitty artists that are as shitty as the artists themselves and performances by decent artists that are shitty. This performance is the former.

It’s unclear what makes Ke$ha a star, so I’m comfortable assuming it’s her eagerness to get on her back for everyone in the music industry, from record execs to the guys that sell bootleg t-shirts outside concert venues.

This performance would seem to support my theory, as this video defies all logic blending astronauts, patriotism, and lots of spectacle with a song that’s pretty much about being a drunk white trash whore.

This performance is exactly as good as it should be.

Sinead O’Connor

This will sound horribly jaded, but I find it quaint that, as recently as 1992, people were mortified by the fact that Sinead O’Connor tore up a picture of the pope at the end of her a capella rendition of “War,” urging the audience and viewers to “fight the real enemy.” What do you think would happen if someone like Adele tore up a picture of Pope Benedict next weekend? I would guess you would hear a hiccup, a squeaky fart, then some polite applause.

Adding to the haunting nature of O’Connor’s performance is Lorne Michaels’ now-infamous decision to not light up the applause sign, creating an even more uncomfortable silence all the way to commercial.

Is the snark being laid on heavy enough here, or are we leaving room for ambiguity? Please let us know so we can get it right next time. Anyway, Glee is doing a tribute to late pop singer and noted child enthusiast Michael Jackson. Here’s our own list of people we hope get the Glee tribute treatment soon.

Slayer

Slayer pretty much invented music, so we’re a little confused about why Glee has’t paid tribute to the masters of thrash yet. We’re thinking they should do an extra-special, two-hour episode of Glee where the gang sings the entirety of Seasons in the Abyss and South Of Heaven. Maybe they can mix it up and throw in some At The Gates and Cannibal Corpse tunes while they’re at it? We’re just making a suggestion here. We’re not married to the idea.

NWA

NWA were, along with Slayer, the driving force behind the invention of modern music. Those of you not old enough to remember won’t recall the days when every song in existence was recorded by Pat Boone fronting the Lawrence Welk Orchestra. NWA changed all that. Fronted by a dwarf from Compton, NWA featured Ice Cube back when he was into jheri curls, the LA Raiders and saying “f*ck the police.” You younger readers now know Ice Cube as the conductor at Shining Time Station and the star of a host of Disney movies. We think the Glee gang can do a great version of “I Ain’t The One” and “She Swallowed It.”

There’s no word yet what the film will entail. It could be a concert film or more of a straightforward narrative. At any rate, we know it will involve devils jumping at the camera. It has too. (Deadline)

Season 2

Tony Bennett – “Dancin’ Homer” S2 E5

Tony Bennett stops by just long enough to sing the Capitol City theme song.

Ringo Starr – “Brush with Greatness” S2 E18

As a teenager, Marge gave up her dream of becoming a painter when she received no reply from Ringo Starr after sending him his portrait for his opinion. Several years later she receives kind words from Starr when he comes across her work while catching up on fan mail.

Season 3

Michael Jackson – “Stark Raving Dad” S3 E1

Homer is sent to a mental health facility after Bart causes his white shirts to turn pink in the wash. There, he rooms with a man who thinks he is Michael Jackson. For contractual reasons, he was not credited until much later.

Aerosmith – “Flaming Moe’s” S3 E10

With Homer’s secret drink recipe in hand, he turns Moe’s into Springfield’s hottest nightspot attracting the likes of Aerosmith and a very boozy Edna Krabappel.

Sting – “Radio Bart” S3 E13

When Bart creates a hoax that a little boy has fallen down a well, Sting and other celebrities team for the charity single, “We’re Sending Our Love Down the Well.”

Spinal Tap – “The Otto Show” S3 E22

Spinal Tap comes through Springfield, even though they’re not sure what town they’re in.