Screen Junkies » Mr T

Scarlett Johansson Leads Off 8 Stupid Celebrity TV Commericals

Wookie Johnson — Tue, 25 Oct 2011 15:57:03 +0000

Dolce & Gabbana has released a new commercial featuring Scarlett Johansson which promotes the practice of laughing at a pretty girl’s jokes no matter how retarded they may be. I think. Or maybe it was perfume. The ad mostly features a dolled up Johansson looking pretty hot and spouting off witticisms picked out of Woody Allen’s garbage bin while the camera dances across her face. All in all, not a bad ad (assuming the volume is down, and you’re huffing spray paint). Check it out.

But Scarlett isn’t the first celebrity to star in a stupid commercial. In fact, here are seven more actors and actresses shilling their dignity away. WARNING: The following videos may include footage that will make you feel sad.

M. Night Shyamalan for American Express

M. Night Shyamalan should know by now that bad things happen when he appears on camera. But American Express was happy enough with his acting ability to cast him as a guy noticing weird stuff happening in a restaurant. But the twist is, the guy wasn’t actually in the restaurant after all. Does that mean the waitress gushing about The Village never existed? I’m willing to bet, yes.

Mr. T for Flavor Wave Oven Turbo

It’s sad to see Mr. T treated like one of the fools he had formally pitied.

Mr. T…for Toddler

Noah Griffith — Thu, 20 Oct 2011 17:01:48 +0000

Sex and Violence In ‘The A-Team’ Shocked Mr. T’s Eyelids

Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000

Joe Carnahan’s directing style (blowing things up punctuated by a character saying, "BOOM!," punctuated by boobs) has foolishly drawn the pity of Mr. T. The original B.A. Baracus saw an advance screening of The A-Team remake and was shocked by how graphic it is. T angrily yelled into a WENN reporter’s tape recorder:

"People die in the film and there’s plenty of sex but when we did it, no one got hurt and it was all played for fun and family entertainment. These seem to be elements nobody is interested in anymore. It was too graphic for me. I’ve no doubt it will do big business at the box office but it’s nothing like the show we turned out every week."

Haha. I don’t know about you but that quote just sold me on seeing the movie. Mr. T is a natural born salesman whether he tries to be or not. **eats a heaping spoonful of stale Mr. T cereal from 1986**

WHAT’S ON TONIGHT: TUESDAY, AUGUST 18th

Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000

Mr. Janus, Mr. T, and Mr. Kotter. Tonight’s TV preview is very polite when applying monikers.

CHECK OUT WHAT TO WATCH AFTER THE JUMP

NOTE: ALL TIMES EASTERN AND PACIFIC!!!

BIOGRAPHY: MR. T
Network: Biography
Time: 8 – 9PM

Reasons to watch: Once upon a time I met Mr. T and asked, "Hey Mr. T., how are you?" His natural response was: "I’m like Tony the Tiger! I’m GREEEEAAAATTTTTT!!!! All you other TV shows, you’d better eat your grubs and you’d better eat your protein cuz T is back on TV where he belongs!!! AYE-YAYE-YAYE-YAYE-YAYE!!!!"

No lie. Find out what makes this guy tick tonight at 8pm.

HELL’S KITCHEN
Network: FOX
Time: 8- 9PM

Reasons to watch: The winners of tonight’s contest receive volleyball tips from 2000 Olympian Annett Davis. Volleyball tips. Really? Is that a thing of value outside of homo-erotic ’80′s movies? "Excuse me, Waiter. The meal was excellent. Do you accept ‘volleyball tips’ as payment? NO?! What planet are you from?"

THE TRUTH BEHIND THE SITCOM SCANDALS
Network: Biography
Time: 9 – 10PM

Reasons to watch: Finally find out what really happened behind the scenes of Roseanne, Welcome Back Kotter, and The Facts Of Life. I bet that something went down with that Tootie. She always seemed like a shifty one.

SHAQ VS.
Network: ABC
Time: 9 – 10PM

Reasons to watch: To prove that he is the most dominant force in athletics, Shaquille O’Neal challenges a variety of players across the wide world of sports. In the series opener, Shaq takes on Steeler’s QB Ben Roethlisberger in a test of football skills. Can Roethlisberger survive a motorcycle accident AND a Shaq Attack?! We shall see…

PRIMETIME: THE OUTSIDERS
Network: ABC
Time: 10 – 11PM

Reasons to watch: Juju Chang interviews those who have had contact with extraterrestrials as well as skeptics. If I were to ever make first contact with an alien species I, like most Americans, would kick it between the legs. You know, just to say I did it.

WHO’S ON LATE

LETTERMAN
Diane Kruger; Donald Trump; Billy Currington

CONAN (repeat)
Bruno; Stephen Moyer; Cirque de Soleil; Zumanity

KIMMEL (repeat)
Ashton Kutcher

FERGUSON
Kevin Bacon; Michael Irving

FALLON (repeat)
John Krasinski; Stephen Moyer

THE GAME IS IN THE RUNNING TO PLAY B.A. BARACUS

Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000

Former G-Unit rapper The Game may be ready to join the A-Team according to this article from ComingSoon. The Joe Carnahan-directed reboot has yet to find it’s B.A. Baracus with a number of names having been thrown into the ring so far. Common, Ice Cube, and "Rampage" Jackson have all come up in casting discussions. The Game is my favorite of these options. I feel like he could really bring to the screen the intimidating please-don’t-kill-me vibe that this role needs (a lot more than Common anyway).

But let’s face the fact that no one will be able to fill Mr. T’s shoes. Therefore they should just cast the man himself. He’d be willing to do it. Heck, he was willing to be in this picture.

We’re so happy together, you guys!

Hate it or love it. It’s the morning news…

These pictures are Kick Ass. (/Film)

There’s a guy named Nimrod Antal. Also, he’s directing the Predator reboot. (Latino Review)

Asteroids: The Videgame is now Asteroids: The Movie (THR)

Original cast still holding out the hope for a Goonies sequel. (SciFiWire)
Alien Nation remake could be the next big thing. (io9)