But on the other hand, I just don’t give a damn. That’s not to say I condone piracy, but it’s hard for me to get worked up about movie studios losing money. When it comes to things I’m supposed to care about, the damage caused by movie piracy ranks just above my carbon footprint, and just below factory farms. And this infographic explaining the roots of the Hollywood system isn’t helping matters. Sure, there are worse things in this world than hypocrites, but at the same time, blatant hypocrisy makes it extremely easy to dismiss legitimate concerns. Sorry, Hollywood.

Created by: Paralegal

The Justice Department and FBI called the action “among the largest criminal copyright cases ever brought by the United States.” How large? MegaUpload advertises that it has more than 50 million visitors a day. Word to the wise, if you’re going to run an illegal piracy syndicate that earns you hundreds of millions of dollars, probably not a good idea to advertise. Promise me you’ll at least consider it.

With MegaUpload up shit’s creek, where are we going to go to watch Fast and the Furious without paying for it? Well, I’m no narc but I hear these six sites got the good stuff.

4shared

4shared is currently the largest file-sharing site on the Internet. They 2.5 billion pageviews per month which is more pageviews than our parents or their parents have ever earned. If Screen Junkies enjoyed that kind of traffic, we’d write all of our posts with Minority Report technology. You can find and share all manner of media on 4shared — text, audio, video, and photos of cats. Just remember, the site is only to be used for storing legal materials.

Mediafire

With MegaUpload cut down at the knees, MediaFire could definitely find themselves on the list. Their service is great, offering unlimited storage space. But you should know that the company “may disclose your personal information or any of its log file information when required by law or in the good-faith belief that such actions are necessary to “conform to the edicts of the law or comply with a legal process served on us; protect and defend the rights or property of MediaFire, or visitors of MediaFire; identify persons who may be violating the law, the legal notice, or the rights of third parties; co-operate with the investigations of purported unlawful activities.”

It’s them or you, man.

Unless you are lucky enough to get your hands on an out of print or VHS copy, the only way to view these films is to steal them outright via digital piracy. Obviously, we don’t condone breaking the law, but if you want to watch a movie about Nic Cage catching leprosy (more on that later), sometimes you have to take drastic measures. If these films were available to purchase, that would be a different story. But since Hollywood chooses to keep them off the shelves, you can’t be held responsible*. With that in mind, here are five films Hollywood makes us steal.

* Note, you can and will be held responsible.

The Siege of Firebase Gloria (1989)

Anyone with even the slightest interest in cinema remembers R. Lee Ermey’s famous role in Stanley Kubrick‘s Full Metal Jacket. But this was not his only stint in a Vietnam War movie. Ermey also has a major role in The Siege of Firebase Gloria, a film that follows the exploits of a group of marines as they try to hold an outpost under attack by the Viet Cong. Although the film has some devoted fans (including Quentin Tarantino), you’ll have no luck finding it on DVD.

Fright Night II (1988)

Sequels don’t usually live up to their originals. I’ve never seen Fright Night II, so I can’t say one way or the the other. Chances are I won’t get the chance to see it, unless I illegally download it. Of course, I could go and buy a copy of the now out-of-print DVD on eBay. But considering the price is around $100 (depending on the auction) I think I’ll just go ahead and break the law. (Thanks for the tip, Mike Gavern).

Let It Be (1970)

Beatles fans would love a chance to own Let It Be on DVD. After all, the documentary chronicles what turned out to be the making of the band’s last studio album. But with no DVD release in sight, you’ll simply have to buy a used VHS copy. Don’t worry. I saw one on Amazon for only $300.

Looking for Mr. Goodbar (1977)

Looking for Mr. Goodbar? Keep looking. Although it is widely considered a classic, this film about the sexual awakening of a mild-mannered schoolteacher (Diane Keaton) is out of print, with no plans for a release on DVD or Blu-ray. To add further insult to injury, copies of Something’s Gotta Give abound, proving there’s no justice in this world, even when Diane Keaton is involved.

A Time to Kill (Tempo di uccidere) (1990)

Not to be confused with the racially-charged Matthew McConaughey legal thriller, this Italian film stars Nicolas cage as an soldier involved in Mussolini’s invasion of Ethiopia. I could try to write up a funny little description, but I don’t think I can top what I found on Wikipedia…

Lieutenant Silvestri suffers a toothache and decides to reach the nearest camp hospital. En route to the dentist his vehicle has an accident, and stops near a rock. Silvestri continues by walking. On his way, he meets and rapes a young Ethiopian woman. Despite this, he and the Ethiopian fall for each other. While taking refuge in a cave Silvestri shoots at a wild animal, but the bullet ricochets and hits the woman. Silvestri continues to the dentist. Upon reaching the hospital, he reads a medical book, leading him to believe he has leprosy. As he tries to escape from Ethiopia, Silvestri must evade his former comrades and reach his wife in Italy.

Rape? Toothaches? Leprosy? This film has it all. Unfortunately, if you want to see this overlooked Cage masterpiece, you’ll have to download a copy (which might be damn near impossible), or track down an old version being sold online. (Thanks to Ross McDermott for these suggestions).

For a company with a treasure trove of box office booty thanks to movie pirates, Disney sure is taking a hard stance against the online Captain Jack Sparrows of the world.

According to The Hollywood Reporter, Walt Disney Co. chief executive Bob Iger believes technology companies are coming out smelling like roses in the PR war… at the expense of Hollywood. The result? Policing illegal activity online will get even more difficult than it already is:

"Iger made the comments during a keynote chat with talent attorney Bruce Ramer today at the annual Institute on Entertainment Law & Business presented by USC Law School and the Beverly Hills Bar Assn.

‘New technology is great, but it has to be used in a responsible way that respects the talent and the investment in creativity," Iger told the luncheon crowd of 600–a record for the annual event, according to Ramer. "I don’t think our industry has been as effective as it needs to be on the subject. The tech industry is doing a better job of articulating excitement around technology than we are about how a business that is so vital to the United States is potentially in peril.’

"Iger called piracy ‘the biggest problem the industry faces,’ and said, "It’s not getting better and it will get worse."

Read the full recap of Iger’s comments at The Hollywood Reporter.