Mars Needs Moms

The honor of bombiest bomb to ever have bombed in 2011 goes to Mars Needs Moms. Produced for $150 million, it has thus far grossed $39 million worldwide. Normally, animated family films like this clean up at the box office, but the creepy dead-eyed mutant aliens of Mars failed to entice youngsters.

Sucker Punch

In the past, girls + underwear + slow motion have always added up to a hit. That’s why Warner Bros must be confused as they close the books on Zack Snyder‘s Sucker Punch. The dreamlike action film earned $89.8 million on a budget of $82 million. So, yes it did turn a profit but hardly. If only Vanessa Hudgens hadn’t gone and given it away for free on the Internet.

Arthur

Warner Bros also felt the sting of a bomb with the remake of Arthur. Russell Brand stars as the filthy rich party boy who considers giving it all up for true love. The film barely eked out a profit $5.7 million. The lesson here is that Fitz & The Tantrums can’t hold a candle to the widespread appeal of Christopher Cross.

Making a list of year-end flops is a mixed bag. For the most part, I take pride in the hubris of Hollywood going unrewarded, punishing studios for taking the “bigger is better” approach. But without fail, there always sneaks in one or two films that deserve better. I only feel that way about one such film on this list, and hopefully its take is buoyed by international markets. While it wasn’t my cup of tea, it was a “good” film.

But enough sadness. Let’s watch these giants fall.

Mars Needs Moms

Mars doesn’t, in fact, need moms. This film was the latest misstep for Robert Zemeckis, who is known for, after achieving success with films like Forrest Gump and Back to the Future, squandering lots of goodwill by forcing motion capture films like The Polar Express and A Christmas Carol down moviegoers’ throats. He decided that maybe he hadn’t been forceful ENOUGH with the mo-cap, so he brought to us Mars Needs Moms, a film that raked in $21 million on a budget of $150 million. The film was completely ignored by audiences. Critics, given that they couldn’t ignore it, gave it almost universally low marks.

Let this be the final word: Zemeckis’ motion capture films look creepy and no one wants to see them.

Conan the Barbarian

Sometimes stupid action movies are too stupid. This debacle scored only $29 million against $90, and was forgotten about as quickly as it was introduced. Star Jason Momoa had garnered acclaim for his role in HBO’s Game of Thrones, but when it came time for him to speak and carry a film, he just wasn’t up to task. Critical acclaim was non-existent, but fans and audiences seemed to be a little more forgiving, probably because the type of people who pay to see Conan have different standards than those who pony up for Gosford Park and the like.