That’s not to say that the program is officially dead in the water. There’s a chance it could remain on the air if the program finds an underwriter with deep enough pockets. Let’s just go ahead and cross Bam Margera off the list of potentials. (Ebert’s Blog)

Star Wars superfan Jim Raynor did not like Red Letter Media’s infamous feature-length reviews of the Star Wars prequels: The Phantom Menace, Attack of the Clones and Revenge of the Sith. The videos have gone mega viral and fans of RLM include celebrity nerds like “Lost” mastermind Damon Lindelof and actor Simon Pegg.

You would think making three feature length internet video critiques of the Star Wars prequels would be the dorkiest thing anyone could do, but Raynor may take the Nerd With Way Too Much Free Time On His Hands Award (The NWWTMFTOHH-y) at the end of the day. That’s because he wrote a 108 page novella (?) critiquing Red Letter Media’s critique of The Phantom Menace. That’s right, 108 pages dedicated to tearing down a ‘fan’ review. Here’s a scintillating sneak peak:

Throughout his review, [Red Letter Media's Mike] Stoklasa relies on the same few tricks again and again. He asks stupid questions which the movie has already answered. He denies simple truths that were made clear to everyone. He repeatedly makes false or unsupported claims that increase the amount of negativity in his review, which will stick in people’s minds even if he carefully retracts his statements later.

Ho boy. I’ve got a bad feeling about this…

Will this become a King of Kong style rivalry, where each combatant must produce a longer, more time consuming critique of the other’s arguments? I happen to be a fan of Red Letter Media’s reviews, but I won’t pass judgement on this work in terms of content. That’d be unfair: I won’t read the full thing, because I made a New Years’ Resolution not to completely waste my life in 2011. So for me, I’m just comforted by the fact that there is no ceiling to the amount of geekery one man can achieve.

I am truly inspired… and also horrified? (/Film)

Nowadays, early buzz is as important to a film as the star whose name appears above the title. A bad review could snowball into bad word of mouth and then Twitter gets a hold of it and the opening weekend is shot. Have a look at the recent releases of Funny People and Bruno. Both were anticipating to stack dollars into the stratosphere but due to early complaints about issues with length and penises (I feel ya) the films underperformed (that’s how I roll).

Paramount has supposedly decided to handpick the websites and critics who would be allowed to review the upcoming G.I. Joe: The Rise Of Cobra in order to avoid any caustic write-ups. We thought it would be refreshing if the studios were just honest for a change and wore their bad reviews like a badge of honor. Like when Billy Madison got all the kids to piss their pants.

Take a look below at our gallery from an alternate universe… where COMPLETELY REAL negative reviews are the hallmark of movie posters: