Screen Junkies » Monster Squad

10 Movie Foods More Disgusting Than The McRib

Penn Collins — Mon, 24 Oct 2011 21:25:09 +0000

The McRib may be “back,” but it never left my heart. As such, I decided to celebrate this BBQ pork cake’s return to the national consciousness by presenting a handful of movie foods that are somehow grosser than this pressed pig thing that’s covered with raw onions and pickles.

I managed to get through this whole article without grossing myself out, then I came back to write the intro, and that McRib description just made my stomach turn. At any rate, here are 10 movie foods more disgusting than the McRib. Bon appétit.

Auntie Lee’s Meat Pies – Auntie Lee’s Meat Pies

PEOPLE! AUNTIE LEE’S MEAT PIES ARE MADE OF PEOPLE!

Well, that secret’s out. I suppose that if I was to eat a person, a meat pie wouldn’t be the worst way to do it. It’s better than human sashimi. For those mercifully unfamiliar, Auntie Lee would lure drifters to her trap using hot girls, then grind them up for her pies. I suppose it’s not so gross considering they’re free-range drifters, rather than drifters kept in a cage and loaded with hormones, but still. You could use Niman Ranch pork and no one would know the difference, Auntie Lee!

Plus, anyone who orders a meat pie deserves whatever they get. Yeah, that’s right Britain. I said it.

Fetus Dumplings – Dumplings

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They keep you looking young, but so does water and exercise. This film, which originally ran about 25 minutes and was one third of the collection Three…Extremes, stars Bai Ling as Mei, a woman who claims her dumplings are the secret to a youthful complexion. While her skin DOES look great, we find out in short order that the dumplings are made from aborted fetuses, which is probably grosser than the McRib. Probably.

The film was popular enough that it was adapted by Fruit Chan into a feature-length film that is both gross and pretty fun.

The Transforming Chinese Food – The Lost Boys

“Maggots, Michael. You’re eating maggots.”

Rice becomes maggots and lo mein becomes worms as the vampire teenagers in The Lost Boys show how they can alter one’s sense of reality. It turns out to be Chinese food, but it’s hard to shake the connotation it creates between Chinese food and crawly creatures.

Do they contain MSG?

7 Epic Movie Battles Between Kids And Monsters

Joseph Gibson — Mon, 24 Oct 2011 13:00:11 +0000

Attack the Block from director Joe Cornish is coming out on DVD and Blu-ray, but it isn’t the only movie to feature kids locking horns with scary monsters. After all, pitting young people against your monster makes the monster look bigger.

Here are seven epic movie battles between kids and monsters.

Super 8

This year’s Super 8 was a classic example of kids vs. monsters. You’ve got a small band of nerdy child filmmakers who accidentally get embroiled in a government cover-up of a giant alien monster they’ve been experimenting on for decades.

It

Don’t think the kids from It have it easy just because they’re in a made-for-TV monster movie. As anyone who saw this movie will tell you, the monster from It, which preys on fear and has the ability to take the shape of anything that frightens you, is a lot scarier than the majority of big-screen movie monsters. His most terrifying form is as a murderous clown played by (of course) Tim Curry. If you’re still doubting the legitimacy of this monster, remember that by the time he was defeated, the kids had grown up into adults!

Brad Fuller Talks ‘Elm Street’, Future of Platinum Dunes

Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000

Producers Brad Fuller and Andrew Form have cultivated a career remaking horror films under the tutelage of Michael Bay. Remaking a film beloved by fans is always a risky maneuver, unless it’s an all-child version of Scarface. Platinum Dunes has drawn the ire of fan boys and horror zealots with their take on The Texas Chainsaw Massacre and Friday the 13th. They’re next effort, A Nightmare on Elm Street, is already being maligned. With that in mind they’ve decided to change their game by stepping away from ruining childhoods and move into ruining graphic novels. Fuller tells Dread Central:

"The studio has decided to move forward and look for new types of material, which is how we got involved with Existence 2.0. I love action-y type material, and these graphic novels had that feel to them. Our writers are currently working on the script for that project.”

Does that mean they are done with horror entirely? More after the jump.

“We still aren’t sure what’s going to happen with the Friday the 13th sequel. Since Chainsaw is now in the hands of Twisted, that means we’re done with Leatherface now. The studio has decided to move forward and look for new types of material…We’ve made the decision to not pursue any new horror projects beyond what we’re planning for the upcoming remake of The Monster Squad. For that film we will be aging the Monster Squad up a bit so that it’s relatable to today’s audiences, but it will still very much be in the same spirit as the original. And, of course, The Wolfman will still have nards,”

Sure, their remakes haven’t always been up to snuff, but you have to admit the visual updates on our favorite maniacs have been really cool. And it seems that they’re aware of this and really putting their best foot forward for Elm Street.

“Honestly, we are sweating it out with Nightmare, probably more than any of the other films we’ve ever done. We made it our mission to do everything in our power to deliver with Nightmare on Elm Street. What we’ve come to realize is that you just can never replace those feelings you have the first time you see the original Nightmare or the original Friday the 13th. Platinum Dunes is not trying to replace those memories for anyone because we have them, too, as fans.
Since we’re horror fans, and fans especially of the Nightmare franchise, that limited our ability to just throw everything out the window and start fresh with our re-envisioning of Nightmare. There are so many landmark moments in the first one that we needed to make sure we keep in ours but still have enough in there that will keep the audience guessing.”

My fingers are firmly crossed that Elm Street scores a win and pleases audiences. Seems like his heart is in the right place, just as Wolfman’s nards are.

Platinum Dunes and Rob Cohen Get ‘Monster Squad’ Back Together

Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000

Michael Bay and Platinum Dunes have incensed a number of horror fans with their Abercrombie & Fitch approach to remaking The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, The Amityville Horror, The Hitcher, Friday the 13th, and potentially A Nightmare on Elm Street. And now they’ve got their sites set on incensing horror comedy fans with the announcement they’ve teamed with Rob Cohen for his long-gestating remake of The Monster Squad, the Fred Dekker cult classic that is fondly remembered by all children of the 1980′s.

The director of Stealth may seem like an odd choice to helm the picture but he actually produced the original. A movie fact that I did not know and probably the reason I’ll never make it to the Scene-It nationals. The movie tells the story of a group of kids banding together to stop Dracula from assembling all the legendary monsters in his quest to take over the world.

Surprisingly I’m not too bitter about this news, only because I think the idea of a Michael Bay/Rob Cohen exxxtreme take on The Monster Squad is hysterical. This time around it will be discovered that not only does Wolfman got nards, but also a pretty gnarly Prince Albert piercing. (Deadline)