Screen Junkies » Mitt Romney

Joss Whedon Shows His Support For Mitt Romney

Wookie Johnson — Mon, 29 Oct 2012 14:27:12 +0000

Celebrities are weighing in with their endorsements of the candidates. Last week, Lena Dunham starred in a spot from the Obama campaign but Mitt Romney will not be outdone. And so, another breakout star of the summer has stepped forward to endorse the candidate.

Joss Whedon released this video explaining why he has turned his back on the president in favor of Gov. Romney. He’s really the only candidate whose cold attitude and shortsighted policies can usher in the zombie apocalypse. As Whedon points out, “[Mitt's] not afraid to face a ravening, grasping horde of subhumans because that’s how he sees poor people already.” That’s really the type of leader we need when Hell is full and the dead walk the Earth.

The Presidential Town Hall Debate Gets Autotuned

Wookie Johnson — Thu, 18 Oct 2012 21:46:10 +0000

Who knew that Health Care reform could be so catchy?

Peter Berg Wants Mitt Romney To Stop Using ‘Friday Night Lights’ Slogan

Penn Collins — Fri, 12 Oct 2012 20:32:06 +0000

This is bad for Mitt Romney in that he gets called out by Peter Berg, who directed Battleship, so much know a lot about a great many subjects, and also because it broadcasts to everyone that the Romney campaign is co-opting the most trite phrase imaginable.

In case you were wondering what the most trite, hackneyed, banal, overused, cliche slogan a politician could use is…it’s Friday Night Lights‘ “Clear Eyes, Full Hearts, Can’t Lose.”

I guess this means that if Romney loses, it’s simply due to the fact that his eyes and heart were not as clear or full as he would have hoped. A sobering thought.

Berg calls out Romney for being unoriginal and having values quite different from those depicted on the show. (Would Obama have better-aligned values? What about W.?) Berg is about as gracious as one could be in a cease-and-desist letter, but the barbs are clearly there. Anytime you compare someone to Buddy Garrity…it’s not a compliment.

Berg’s letter to Mitt Romney (which sounds like kind of an FNL name anyway) can be found here, with The Hollywood Reporter’s godforsaken logo all over it, forcing us to acknowledge that, yes, we are aware you got the letter first. THR needs to constantly be validated or it just breaks down. Really a high-maintenance outlet, that one.

The Good, The Bad, And The Ugly: Political Appearances On ‘SNL’

Penn Collins — Mon, 16 Apr 2012 20:56:25 +0000

It’s looking like Mitt “Mittens” Romney is in position to take the Republican nomination this summer for the presidential election, which means that he’s got about six months to turn himself into one heckuva likable guy.

Of course, that means a mandatory stop on SNL to prove that he can laugh at himself.

What once was a charming, spontaneous act by some politicians has started to feel a little forced, like the show and the candidate are going through the motions.

That’s not to say that all the appearances have been duds, but any time you get a non-performer on stage to make people laugh, the results will be mixed. Here are a half-dozen examples of which way these cameos can go.

Don’t forget to vote this November.

Rudy Giuliani

true” allowfullscreen=”true” />

Giuliani and SNL enjoyed a very symbiotic relationship during his tenure as Mayor. He comforted America when the show returned after 9/11, reminding the country that it’s okay to laugh again, though not necessarily at SNL, because it’s not always that funny.

While Giuliani was never the most charismatic speaker or guest on SNL, he did feel like a godfather of the show, and that bit of goodwill made everyone a little more at ease, and a little more inclined to laugh. Even the fact that he’s championing his efforts to clean up the city doesn’t seem so self-aggrandizing, but rather a little charming.

Giuliani’s genuine enthusiasm for being on the show, coupled with Norm Macdonald’s mumbly creepiness makes for one of the successful appearances by a politician on SNL.

Don’t get too excited, though. They’re not all winners.

Janet Reno

In the late 1990’s and early 2000’s, SNL had a real problem. That problem was that the show couldn’t offer up an impression or spoof of a celebrity without having that celebrity on one of the shows to “confront” the cast member doing the impersonation. Even the first time I remember it being done (Joe Pesci and Robert De Niro), it felt forced and cheap, and every subsequent time more so.

Here’s an example of a bizarre funny sketch that at no point needed an appearance by the actual Janet Reno. Further, seeing her dancing doesn’t really do anything other than make my eyes bleed. Sure, she’s a good sport for sanctioning this mockery, but that doesn’t exactly make her funny, now does it?

If You Support Mitt Romney, You Might Be A Redneck

Penn Collins — Mon, 12 Mar 2012 21:37:07 +0000

If you’re anything like me, you’ve been straddling the fence on the upcoming presidential election, patiently waiting until the day when Jeff Foxworthy tells us who we should vote for. That day is today.

Foxworthy, who has made a career letting people know that they might be rednecks and are not smarter than 4th graders, has thrown his mighty political weight behind Republican hopeful Mitt “The Mittmaker” Romney.

The fact that Romney grew up in Michigan and governed Massachusetts might lead one to believe that he might not win over the southern redneck vote, but then we are reminded that the other candidate is black and it all sort of makes sense.

The best part of this story is, when asked about his backing of Romeny, Foxworthy said, “We don’t elect presidents based on personality. We did that in 2008.”

If you’re an incumbent president with the last name of “Obama,” you might draw the ire of a redneck.

Donald Trump Will Endorse Anything (13 Examples)

Wookie Johnson — Thu, 02 Feb 2012 19:51:34 +0000

There was a huge record scratch in the Republican party today when Donald Trump announced that he would be endorsing Mitt Romney and NOT Newt Gingrich. One of Trump’s advisers made a surprise announcement last night that Donald Trump would be making a surprise announcement today regarding the presidency that would shock the world. The Gingrich camp was so certain that meant an endorsement of their candidate that they’d already jumped the gun and announced it to news outlets. Our sources are waiting to confirm whether or not this was a segment filmed for MTV‘s Punk’d revival.

But what does Trump’s endorsement mean for Romney? The chance to meet Tia Carrere? Well, judging from his track record, it means jack sh*t. That’s if any of these Trump-endorsed products are any indicator.

Donald Trump: The Fragrance

Now you can own the smell of success. Just please note that smell also features hints of cigar, hairspray, bronzer, and tarragon.

Trump Teas

Who better to sell a line of holistic teas than ancient Chinese person, Donald Trump? Actually, the teas themselves are blended by Talbot Tea’s master blender. But Trump paid for the keepsake tin. That’s something people who aren’t Trump will want to keep forever. Right?

Trump ICE

If you can’t beat the heat with state-of-the-art air conditioning in a luxury penthouse with your name written on the outside of it, here’s the next best thing. A bottle of tap water with a toupeed gazillionaire mugging on the hastily pasted-on label. Take that, global warming!

Jay Leno’s Jokes Are So Unfunny People Are Suing Him

Penn Collins — Wed, 25 Jan 2012 18:50:33 +0000

Let’s all live vicariously through the Bakersfield, CA, man who is suing Jay Leno for making a very bizarre joke about Mitt Romney‘s extreme wealth.

Hmm. Leno? Mitt Romney? Bakersfield? We better hurry up and get through this. I’m already boring myself.

Dr. Randheep Dhillon is filing a lawsuit against Leno for a joke that implied Mitt Romney is so rich (HOW RICH IS HE?) that he uses India‘s Harmandir Sahib, better known as the Golden Temple of Amritsar, as a summer home.

Hold on. I’ll write more as soon as I can compose myself from all this laughter. What a strange joke for mainstream America. Granted, Leno just put up a picture of a shiny Indian palace, that people could probably discern was lavish without knowing its context or name, but still. I would have thought he would have used a picture of Donald Trump‘s hair or something to get a laugh.

Dhillon claims that Leno “falsely portrays the holiest place in the Sikh religion as a vacation resort owned by a non-Sikh,” and as such is suing him for general and punitive damages. I will be the first one to admit that, yes, Jay Leno did falsely portray that holy place as Romney’s summer home. There’s not much to debate there. I will also concede that it was a “joke,” and that this law suit might be the most asinine thing I’ve heard this month.

Further, I’m also furious for this man being so stupid and wrong that I’m forced to side with Jay Leno. Goddamn you for forcing me into this position, Randheep!

“Your honor, I would like to further contend that Mr. Leno is also guilty of pulling a Thomas Crown-like ruse with the Dancing Itos. He intentionally misled us as to both the number of Lance Itos in existence and their ability to dance to funky 70′s hits.”

Oh well. At least his joke didn’t kill anyone this time.

C-SPAN Investigates: Does Mitt Romney Have A Big Penis?

Wookie Johnson — Wed, 18 Jan 2012 14:09:40 +0000

While covering the race for the Republican ticket, C-SPAN has been overwhelmed by callers who want to cut through the rhetoric and get down to the real issue. Just exactly how big is Mitt Romney’s penis? The broad-shouldered candidate stands at a height of 6’2″, so it’s certain to be impressive. I’m not saying that Mitt Romney‘s penis measures up to Barack Obama‘s but I’d wager to guess he’s somewhere in John Kerry territory.

So why is C-SPAN ignoring this issue? This refusal to give us well-rounded profiles on each candidate proves that their coverage of the election is in no way fair. It’s not like the American people can just go ask Romney. He’ll overembellish. You really can’t trust a politician.

Also, kudos to the prank caller for his New Hampshire accent. Nailed it. (MediaLite)