Renner was grabbing a late-night (early morning, actually) drink in Thailand with his local guide, when the guide and some bar employees got into a fight about something or other. The guide dropped a glass on the floor when the six employees fell upon him, stabbing him in the stomach repeatedly because, hey, glass is a bitch to clean up. They then severed the guide’s neck tendons with a homemade axe (because where’s the beauty or charm in a store-bought one?).

Umm…AWESOME?

The original report said Renner suffered some minor injuries, but now it’s being reported that he booked it from the bar right when the shit went down.

If he was wearing his Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters outfit, I’m going to overdose on cool.