Tami Donaldson, a former 3rd grade school teacher turned Maxim pin up girl, is the prime example of Van Halen’s ‘Hot For Teacher’. She makes her feature film debut briefly in this month’s Middle Men, but she’s also known for getting with manhore musician Dave Navaro in her spare time.

A word from Tami: “I’m kind of shy and quiet when I’m out, but in the bedroom I like to be in charge—I like to be the boss.”

So…a lady on the street but a freak in the bed? You’re like a dream.

More pics of Tami after the jump…

Claudia Jordan, a former “The Price is Right” and “Deal or No Deal” model, shows off her east coast beauty in this month’s Middle Men. Her blink or miss it performance doesn’t do her justice but you can bet on all your Plinko chips that she’ll be showing off her stuff with more projects in the future.

A word from Claudia: “I am the queen head doctor.”

I’m going to assume you’re referring to psychology and not felatio, only because we’re not allowed to discuss the latter in detail on this site.

More pics of Claudia after the jump…

Jesse Jane has live the american dream, from banging Tommy Lee in a VIP night club to starring in the most expensive porn movies made to date. This week she’ll be showing her duck-lipped face in Middle Men, playing herself, of course.

A word from Jesse: [on shooting in HD] “Everything is exaggerated. A blemish can look huge, and it’s impossible to disguise bumps and bruises with makeup, because the makeup stands out, as well. You have to be very careful.”

And imagine the breast implant scars. They must look like untreated battle wounds.

More pics of Jesse doing unintentional duck faces after the jump…

]]> http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/middle-men-actress-jesse-jane/feed/ 0 http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-review/review-middle-men/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-review/review-middle-men/#comments Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000

Middle Men
R, 97min., 2010
Cast: Luke Wilson, Giovanni Ribsi, Gabriel Macht, Rade Serbedzija, Laura Ramsey, Jacinda Barett, with Robert Forester and James Caan
Directed by George Gallo
Screenplay by George Gallo and Andy Weiss

Middle Men is too impatient to give us the epic about how the Internet porn empire was made and settles for cliché drama that is given some spark by a committed cast of actors.

More after the jump…

Told over a lax and long monologue by Luke Wilson, who stars as Jack Harris, an average Texas business and family man, who happens to get into credit card charging business during the late 1990s with two coked out LA geniuses named Buck Dolby and Wayne Beering (played by Gabriel Macht and Giovanni Ribsi with a lot more ticks and energy than the rest of the movie). The catch for Harris is the credit card business becomes the start up for the Internet porn empire.

The millions upon millions of dollars the trio is swamped by attracts many violent and colorful characters, including the Russian mob, a 23 year old porn star vixen, the FBI, and a vicious shark lawyer (James Caan in another performance to show how to be tough old school style). This all rushes by you at the drop of a hat, never settling for any real character driven moments.

Filmmaker George Gallo knows this genre of mixing drama with a nature comedic flare well – the best being his screenplay of Midnight Run from 1988. Here he never finds the right voice for this story, which keeps tossing the story back and forth between Wilson’s wheez family guy monologue and the violent cocaine gangster drama of Ribsi and Macht. 

The idea is clearly to be a Martin Scorsese or P.T. Anderson time sprawling drama – several scenes are set to the music of The Rolling Stones, the LA setting, and amazing long shot takes. One sequence in particular has the camera following Harris through a porn palace orgy that feels lifted right out of Boogie Nights; it’s entertaining but we’ve seen it all before.

Somewhere in all of its dangerous wheels, deals, cocaine lines, and porn stars lies a good movie to be told in Middle Men, but it doesn’t surface here.

Grade: C

Stacey Alysson is a blonde babe with some major medical street credit to her family name. Not only is she a graduate of Nutritional Science but her father was the first veterinarian to use Prozac on animals. Probably because all the animals got depressed looking at Stacey’s hot body all day long and they couldn’t have her.

A word from Stacey: “Does this still count as sexual harasment if I make the first move?”

Probably, but I guarantee no one’s going to file charges.

More pics of Stacey after the jump…

While Diane Sorrentino may only have a few casting credits, this hot from the Brooklyn block girl knows how to show off her talents when it counts. Diane can be seen in the upcoming internet porn dramedy Middle Men, where she’ll be playing the aptly named Robin Swallows, a porn star, no less.

More pics of Diane after the jump…

Middle Men, hitting theaters Friday, is the tale of Jack Harris (played by Luke Wilson) who has a successful career fixing problem companies. He meets Wayne Beering (Giovanni Ribisi) and Buck Dolby (Gabriel Macht), who’ve invented a way for adult entertainment to be sold over the internet. Based on a true story, I’m sure they won’t go as far as to mention the actual name of the website. It will probably be something close to the actual website URL but funnier for movie fans.

The internet has a played a part in the plot of countless movies. In some cases it’s a brief mention that just moves the story along but in others it’s a main focus that actually drives the storyline. Here are ten movies that use fake websites. Some of the website names might be even more popular than the actual movie.

FleshoftheStars.com from Knocked-Up

From the moment it becomes obvious what Ben and his friends are up to with all their movie watching for moments of celebs naked, the audience has a good chuckle because there really is such a website called Mr. Skin. When the guys are finally let in on one of the worst kept secrets in the world (someone beat them to it) it’s even funnier because the website would exist in the one place it’s fine to have one (or even a thousand knock-offs) and no one would care or notice. Ask any perv that spends his late nights browsing for naked screenshots of Alyssa Milano if he cares which website has such a collection, he probably will be too "busy" to answer. I’ll answer for him; he doesn’t care. Flesh of the Stars could make just as much money, it’s all about the dedication of the staff. Looking back at said staff (Jason Segal, Rogen, Jonah Hill and Jay Baruchel) that website is never making it past beta.

In Real Life: Fleshofthestars.com does exist, and in a smart business move, it points to MrSkin.com.  

CyberNanny.com from 40 Days and 40 Nights

"Some days I think that if I have to look at another blowjob I’ll scream." –Erica on her job as a Cyber Nanny. It’s funny to think that people have an actual job like surfing the web all day and blocking porn websites so kids can’t find them. It’s also funny to think people have a job that entails creating porn websites all day long. Bet this isn’t how they imagined life turning out back in high school. While there are websites that do block kids from internet smut, the idea was ahead of its time.

In Real Life: Cybernanny.com is for sale and they are only interested in serious offers. I’d love to hear about some of the not so serious inquires they’ve received from people.

Vag-tasticVoyage.com from Superbad

"Hey, man, I was doing some research for next year and I think I figured out which website I wanna subscribe to. The Vag-Tastic Voyage."– Seth. The name is funny for two reasons; first, it just is. Period. Vag-Tastic Voyage is a clever porn website name. Kick in the fact I’ve made up my mind it somehow involves Coolio and that takes it over the edge. Secondly, every guy knows this name convention fits in perfectly with actual website names that specialize in porn. Captain Stabbin or Bang Bros anyone? Put your hands down. It must really be a top notch website for Seth to pick it above all others, real or fictional.

In Real Life: Vagtasticvoyage.com sadly points to the official movie website for Superbad. Just gonna put that Jergens right back under the sink.

MoviePoopShoot.com from Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back

The scene really says it all.  Obviously websites like Movie Poop Shoot do exist and Kevin Smith had been blasted on them so why not poke fun back. Double points for Affleck poking fun at himself.

In Real Life: Moviepoopshoot.com points to a website called Fred. It’s actually a pretty entertaining website. I recommend the interview section. 

BuyNLarge.com from Wall-E

Ironic that Disney is behind a movie touting one huge corporation controlling the world. It might not have a stake in everything but it’s slowing getting its gloved mouse paws on most of the entertainment world. The idea behind Buy N Large is going to happen some day. One massive "mega-corporation" that controls every facet of our lives. Maybe that isn’t as funny as it sounds. The website itself was humorous with press releases like "BnL Annual Report: The musical released" and "Wisconsin Mall Granted City Status." If it ever gets to that point, people like yours truly will be out of a job, thanks to the fact that the world would really only need one website for everything, and you better believe I wouldn’t make the editorial team.

In Real Life: The BnL website is still up and running but the mail link points to the Disney Pixar website.
 

DiaperRush.com from A Lot Like Love

Well, first it’s funny that any Ashton Kutcher movie makes a list that doesn’t involve the words "sucks" or "die," but the premise behind the website is humorous, especially if you’re a parent. The number of diapers a baby goes through in a day is obscene. God forbid you leave the house without back-ups. I’d probably be interested in a website that offered this service. It would also be helpful if they took the baby off my hands for a good 8-10 hours a day. My awesome blogs don’t write themselves, I could use the extra time to work on them.

In Real Life: Diaperrush.com points to a parked website linking out to baby accessories. Looks like someone besides me did watch this movie.

SouthHarmonInstituteofTechnology from Accepted

Anyone that has applied to college remembers the hassle. Then when you finally decided, it was almost a competition with other classmates. You’re going where? Never heard of it. Chances are they’ve never heard of the majority of colleges and universities across the US. That’s what makes South Harmon Institute of Technology such a great idea. An even better idea than actual college.

In Real Life: Not sure of the actual URL from the movie, I checked southharmoninstituteoftechnology.com, and it was purchased. Of course it was. Also, don’t check out shit.com That’s not the movie website either. You’ve been warned.

WheelieBlog.org from Clerks 2

Kevin Smith once again working the internet into his films. Funny only because it’s fictional. If a guy really had nothing better to do with his life then make fun of a man in a wheelchair, then, well he’d be the perfect character in a Kevin Smith movie. Sadly, people like this probably exist.

In Real Life: Wheelieblog.org isn’t working, which is surprising, considering Smith’s love of the internet and other people’s love of buying URL’s mentioned in movies.

KillWithMe.com from Untraceable

This is what makes this movie so damn scary; the idea that if thousands upon thousands of people are told not to do something, obviously, they will do it. If this website did indeed exist, you know people would click it out of morbid curiosity. Hell, I would at least once. Even if it meant someone might die. Don’t look at my copy like that. Whatever, YOU’RE the bad person.

In Real Life: Killwithme.com actually works and looks exactly like it did in the movie. Don’t ask me what it does, I was too damn scared to click through. Happy thoughts. Happy thoughts.

Lougle from hot tub time machine

Who wouldn’t love to go back in time and take credit for inventing some of the most popular websites in the world. It’s a better idea than Biff and the sports betting scheme in Back To The Future 2. While I couldn’t find a clip of Lou (played by Rob Corddry) inventing Lougle (his own personally named search engine–very similar to what we all know as Google) here is a great clip of Lou’s other big claim to fame. Lead singer of the band Motley Lue.

In Real Life: Lougle.com points to a personal Flickr account from a user named Lougle. It consists of several hundred pictures of landscapes. I only wish I could find hot tub time machine to go back to the moments before I clicked on the website and stop myself from wasting an hour looking at some random dude’s pictures.

Chris Illuminati is a new dad. He has nothing better to do but watch movies and blog. Check out his other work HERE.

Laura Ramsey is known in most circles as the ‘Hollywood female equivalent to Kurt Warner’. My guess is she’s called this due to to her rise from a Wisconsin waitress to working leading lady in less than a year. Laura has starred in She’s the Man with Amanda Bynes, Lords of Dogtown with Nikki Reed, and Venom with Method Man. One of these co-stars in not like the others…

A word from Laura: “Method Man smells like cabbage.”

Yep, that sounds about right.

More pics of Laura after the jump…

Screen Junkies and Break is hosting a screening of the new film Middle Men Tuesday at 4:30PM in Los Angeles, and we’re inviting you! That’s right. YOU! 25 people plus a guest can be the first to see the movie, which chronicles Jack Harris, one of the pioneers of internet commerce, as he wrestles with his morals and struggles not to drown in a sea of conmen, mobsters, drug addicts, and pornstars. Don’t pretend like you aren’t intrigued by all of those subjects.

After the screening, I will moderate a Q&A with producer Chris Mallick, whose story inspired the film.

To attend, all you have to do is be one of the first 25 people to follow Screen Junkies on Twitter and tweet your enthusiastic response. Check out the red-band trailer to whet your appetite.

I’ll save you all a seat in the best section of the theater.

^{No shoes on the couch please.}

Here’s a sexier, red bandier look at George Gallo’s Middle Men. I’m guessing this trailer exists for anyone skeptical that the movie would feature F-bombs and boobies. Upon reviewing this footage, I can say it most certainly does. As well as some housewives with bigger things on their minds than light dusting. And perhaps hottest of all, Kevin… Pollak… FAPPING. Now that I’ve piqued your desire to a fever pitch, I won’t waste anymore of your time with words.

ON TO THE SWEET, SWEET IMAGES AFTER THE JUMP…

_{The Internet used to suck.}

The Internet is good for a few things besides revitalizing Betty White’s career, and Middle Men is here to remind us of that. The new film is inspired by the brave heros who brought porn to the Internet, and molded it into the universe it has become. Luke Wilson stars as a businessman who helps guide the first online billing company that deals exclusively with adult entertainment. Judging from their unkempt look and sparring habits, Giovanni Ribisi and Gabriel Macht co-star as the staff of ScreenJunkies.com. Oh, I’ve just been told that they play the programmers who invent the billing method. I was close.

Soon the trio are caught in the middle between porn stars, fabulous riches, Russian mobsters, the FBI, and Luke Wilson once again has to tangle with Mr. Henry. It’s weird to see him without Rowboat.

PAY SOME RESPECT TO THE INTERNET’S HERITAGE AFTER THE JUMP…

Middle Men – Trailer – Watch more Movie Trailers

Middle Men opens in theaters August 6th, 2010.

Director: George Gallo

Cast: Luke Wilson, Giovanni Ribisi, Gabriel Macht, James Caan

Synopsis: Businessman Jack Harris (Luke Wilson) had the perfect life – a beautiful family and a successful career fixing problem companies. And then he met Wayne Beering (Giovanni Ribisi) and Buck Dolby (Gabriel Macht), two genius but troubled men, who had invented the way adult entertainment is sold over the internet.

Release Date: August 6, 2010