You didn’t? Let me tell you a story that will prove that to you.

In speaking to Digital Spy, Hogan finally got around to telling the world that he had been offered the role of Randy “The Ram” Robinson in Darren Arnofsky’s The Wrestler, but he turned it down. Why?

“When the script for The Wrestler kept coming to me, I said, ‘This movie is so good,” Hogan claims. “If you put me in the film as a wrestler, people are going to say, ‘No credibility, Hulk Hogan isn’t a good actor’—whatever Hollywood thinks of me.”

Hulk puts the good of the film ahead of himself, like a real American.

Of course, Arnofsky has only gone on record as having considered Mickey Rourke, who got the role, and Nicolas Cage for the lead in The Wrestler. He must have his reasons for courting the Hulkster in secret. My money is on “he didn’t want to raise the ire of Hulk-a-maniacs everywhere, because when they hulk out, he could be in for a world of pain.”

This is Screen Junkies’ third Hulk Hogan article in forty days. 2012 is shaping up to be a tremendous year. 

“Story follows a screenwriter (Farrell) struggling for inspiration for his script, “Seven Psychopaths,” who gets drawn into the dog kidnapping schemes of his oddball friends (Rockwell and Walken). Things take a turn for the worse when a gangster‘s (Rourke) mutt goes missing.”

Dognapping! So if you’re a fan of In Bruges, Christopher Walken, Sam Rockwell, and Mickey Rourke, plus you’re a cat person, there’s absolutely no reason for you not to see this. I know I’ll be there – I need inspiration for my script, Guy Watches ‘Seven Psychopaths’. (Variety)

Immortals stars Henry “Super Brit” Cavill, Stephen Dorff Mickey Rourke, and is directed by Tarsem Singh (“The Cell”). The film has an impossible-to-remember release date of 11-11-11.

“Hey, guys. When I talked to you, I was at a party. It was loud and crowded, I was in a shitty mood and I was trying to get rid of your reporter. Mitch is one of my best friends since we were kids. I loved working with him and would do it again tomorrow. I don’t know why I said that stupid shit. I love Mitch, I love Megan. My bad.”

Now the question is if America will ever be able to forgive Rourke for saying these things about Passion Play and our National Princess Megan Fox. We’ll just have to wait and see. Maybe a  cameo appearance in The Hangover 2 would help?

Is he to be believed? It seems as though the project isn’t destined to be green lit, as Rourke is 22 years older than Thomas and will have to demonstrate some serious chops on the rugby pitch. But Rourke stands strong in his assertion that the project is moving forward. Once someone that’s not Mickey Rourke provides corroboration that the project is moving forward, I’ll start to believe.

For over a year, Rourke has been playing up this project, discussing it in interviews and championing Thomas (though rumors are it might just be a story inspired by Thomas, rather than a true biopic). The only disappointment there is that Rourke may no longer be required to perform a Welsh accent, which had me giddy as a schoolgirl. (Vulture)

“Terrible. Another terrible movie. But, you know, in your career and all the movies you make, you’re going to make dozens of terrible ones.”

He wasn’t done trying to convince you to see Passion Play though. When asked why the movie is being released on a limited basis, he replied “[t]hat’s because it’s not very good.” Well, I’m definitely sold. Unless Rourke’s costar Megan Fox says she liked it, in which case I’ll probably lose interest. (MovieLine)

Passion Play stars Rourke as a trumpeter who meets Megan Fox‘s dancer character who may be an actual angel. Or a girl who had a really bad dad. At any rate, Rourke wants to free Fox from Bill Murray‘s gangster pimp character, and there-in lies the conflict. The film has had a few setbacks since TIFF last year, when everyone noticed it sucks pretty bad. It will open in limited release in New York and Los Angeles before going to DVD at the end of May.

Not to lump on, but I’m not surprised this movie got made. What surprises me the most is that Bill Murray answered his hotline for this.

Besson has been putting together the sequel to the hit ex-CIA agent vs. the French Underworld drama, and he’s currently talking to Best Last Name Ever Award Winner Olivier Megaton (Transporter 3) about directing it. However, Besson wants to shoot Taken 2 this year, while forgettable Jedi Neeson wants to take the year off for personal reasons. Can you do a sequel without the lead from the original? Besson is willing to try: his list of possible replacements to play Bryan Mills (or a character very, very similar) includes Ralph Fiennes, Mickey Rourke, and Jason Isaacs.

Faced with replacing Neeson with “The Ram,” Besson recently went back to Neeson and the two are currently trying to work out a shooting schedule for late this year, but nothing is confirmed yet. (Deadline)

UPDATE: My hostage plan worked, I assume. Liam Neeson just officially signed on for Taken 2. Neeson will get some time off before dealing with more stuff getting taken – the sequel starts filming late 2011 / early 2012.

The Blind Bastard Club is set to begin filming in Brazil, where Mr. Kravitz is apparently a huge star (the world’s funny sometimes, huh?), and will be directed by Ash Baron-Cohen, cousin of the Borat guy. (via The Playlist)

While many scents would be contextual as part of the film, what’s more exciting is the prospect of stars getting editorial review of scents. For instance, Dakota Fanning would smell like a lemon poppy-seed muffin, Robert Pattinson would smell like a clove cigarette, and the entire theater would reek of beef jerky anytime Mickey Rourke came onscreen.

There are, thankfully, no plans to roll these things out in theaters yet, but given the smashing success of 3-D technology, it’s only a matter of time before smells are emitted and theaters hire gang members to punch the audience, all in the name of a more authentic cinematic experience. I’m just excited to see if studio execs think that Gene Hackman should smell like an old sweater or Worthers’ Originals hard candy. C’mon sweater! (Geekologie)

Inmovies.ca is reporting that actor Mickey Rourke is considering having his front teeth removed for his upcoming role as Gareth Thomas, an openly gay Welsh rugby player who is missing his front choppers.

According to Thomas’ agent, Emanuele Palladino, Rourke “is going to get rid of his two front teeth and stuff – he will be taking them out.”

Added Palladino, “Mickey intends to get as close to the character as he can.”

Call me crazy, but if you really want to get inside the head of a gay rugby player, there’s an easier way (especially a gay rugby player with no teeth). It starts with buying him a drink. (Film Drunk)

Who you callin' gay?

Mickey Rourke came out on a British talkshow the other day as a future portrayer of a gay rugby player. The actor who would punch my face through my face after reading the above headline is prepping to play Gareth Thomas, the gay rugby player who also happens to like men. Rourke said: “To be a man who plays rugby, who is gay, and to live with that secret for the amount of years that Gareth had, to perform at the high level that he performed at, it takes a lot of courage.” I could make a distasteful scrum joke right now, but I’m not gonna because I’m better than that. And Mickey might be watching. (Vulture)

I question its trailerness because the “trailer” itself could use a little spicing up. It’s really just a confusing hodge-podge of sh*t. Plodding, dull, and doesn’t do much to explain or present anything. All we learn from this is that a young guy has to play Russian roulette. And Mickey Rourke is there. And there’s a guy overseeing the game who I swore was Jason Bateman the first time I watched this. Spoiler alert: he isn’t Jason Bateman.

Back in August, we reported that Jeffrey Dean Morgan would star in The Courier, a film about a bagman attempting to deliver a mysterious briefcase while crooked cops, gangsters, and federal agents try to jack him. Now we know who will play these shady characters. It’s been announced that Mickey Rourke and Til Schweiger have joined the cast. This is fantastic casting. We all know what Mickey Rourke is capable of, and Til Schweiger was a highlight of Inglourious Basterds.

Production begins later this month in New Orleans, but don’t tell Jason Statham. If he hears there’s a film about an expert bagman going on, he may just assume he’s the star. Things could get awkward if he shows up and asks for a call sheet. (The Wrap)

_{Even assassins have their soft spots.}

Mickey Rourke has signed on for the feature adaptation of the book "The Ice Man: Confessions of a Mafia Contract Killer." David McKenna (American History X) is writing the script about Richard "The Ice Man" Kuklinksi, a professional assassin who doubled as a loving father and husband in New Jersey.

Hmmmm, sounds like Tony Soprano, does it not? But considering Kuklinksi isn’t Italian, this story will have less capicola and guys shouting, "OH EH! EH OH!" Or maybe it’s just Tony Danza that does that. Either way, Rourke is playing an assassin, and he’s a method actor, so if you start hearing stories of hookers being found with double-taps to the chest, don’t look at me. It was probably Rourke. NOT me. (Variety)

The Expendables
R, 103m., 2010
Cast: Sylvester Stallone, Jason Statham, Jet Li, Dolph Lundgren, Randy Couture, Steve Austin, Giselle Itie, Charisma Carpenter, David Zayas with Terry Crews, Eric Roberts and Mickey Rourke
Directed by Sylvester Stallone
Screenplay by David Callaham and Sylvester Stallone

There was this large plastic bin that I had growing up filled with action figures and their variou weapon accessories. From Duke Nuk’em to The Terminator, the original 90s Batman series, metal figure G.I Joes, Aliens, X-Men, Biker Mice from Mars, Ghostbusters, Toxic Crusaders and others that I have now forgot. They traveled with me wherever I moved during those years. They were my friends, enemies, and characters to create.

More after the jump…

Much like Andy in the Toy Story series, I didn’t want to keep them in the box like other kids in the neighborhood. They were action toys and they were meant to fight, team up, travel around the world in my room’s shag carpet, blow up Lego castles, use my brother’s model airplanes to crash fortresses, and go mano e mano. They never had time for girls or dolls, they had a mission and they stuck to it. At the end of the day, my Mom of course told me to pick up the battle of plastic that laid before her, while I was fighting most of the time to have five more minutes to do just one more rescue or bomb diffusion. But at the end of the day all those plastic warriors would go back into the bind, waiting for their next mission.

Sylvester Stallone’s The Expendables is pretty much those toys coming back out of the box for another day’s deadly mission. Abided that they are played now by the real deal of aging 80s action stars and those that can still act or at least give a good line reading, getting some juicy monologues in between the action.
   
With thousands of pounds in sweat, blood, muscle, bullets, and explosives, Stallone leads the wolf pack of mercenaries called ‘The Expendables’ as Barney Ross. Following him are his wingman Jason Statham as Lee Christmas, lightning quick Jet Li as Yin Yang, psycho redneck Randy Couture as Toll Road, big machine Terry Crews as Hail Caesar, strung out Dolph Lundgren as Gunner Jensen, and wise old biker friend Mickey Rourke as Tool.  They are usually funded by a guy named Mr. Church (Bruce Willis, owning the entire movie in his one scene) and a mysteriously lumpy old politician, we Californians know all too well.

When the gang isn’t blowing up half of South America or any other third world country from the grip of rogue CIA agents (Eric Roberts and Steve Austin) and cartoon military dictators (David Zayas from TV’s Dexter), they hang out  at a biker bar next to Tool’s place where they shoot the shit, drink beer, and compare each other’s knives. It’s the ultimate man caves of caves, where no one else but this cast of aging action characters seem to be hanging around.

Stallone delivers the movie with such breeze. There are, of course, wall-to-wall action sequences, but through all of its rocky rubble and bloodshed, it’s just another Saturday morning cartoon.

The movie only dapples at the crumbling and harsh aging world these men of war find themselves in. Stallone as we can see here is no Sam Peckenpah or Robert Aldrich in dealing action goods with a real sense of tragic undercurrent, though he does very wisely use the best dramatic actor in the bunch, Rourke, to give a few classic monologues of regret and the violent past him and his team led. Rourke can make a lot of tough guys cry if he wants to.

But then again, no real tough guy really wants to hear about their tragically violent self-worth when coming to see The Expendables. They just want action, wisecracks, and surprise cameos galore.

The action for the most part is delivered especially when the younger dudes Statham, Li, and Crews are on screen, because they aren’t quite so lumpy and old like the rest of the cast. Stallone’s scenes look especially thrown together by quick cuts and close-ups.

The Expendables, like my childhood action figures at the end of the day were all picked up, cleaned off and sent back into their bind for another day’s play, eventually forgotten and thrown away, but wait… that’s another summer movie.

Grade: B-

Mickey Rourke is the most accomplished dramatist of the rock’em sock’em team in The Expendables. An 80s icon who after pulling off a series of great performances in Diner, Rumble Fish, The Pope Of Greenwich Village, Angel Heart, and Barfly fell off the map and didnt re-surface until 20 years later with his award winning performance in The Wrestler. Now he’s back and kicking major acting chop ass. Just remember don’t get between him and his chihuahuas or they’ll be hell to pay.

Highly Debatable Best Role: Henry Chinaski in Barfly

Weird Fact: Walked off the set of a movie because the producers wouldn’t let him use his pet chihuahua.

MORE AFTER THE JUMP…

Uncomfortable Interview Question: Why do you have sex all the time in your movies?

Best Fatality: Cuts Elijah Wood into little pieces and feeds him to a dog in Sin City.

All-Encompassing Clip:

_{One of these men has an enlarged prostate.}

No you’re not looking at a pharmaceutical campaign, that’s the new Legends Poster for The Expendables. It’s about a bunch of men who do mercenary work in between trips to the bathroom for wee wee. I kid, I kid, don’t stroke out.

In fact, in the new sneak peak of the movie, the guys are bruising more ass than whippersnappers one-third their age. "The Boys Are Back in Town" by Thin Lizzy also helps with the playful tone of the footage. If they used Linkin’ Park for the backing track, then we’d know shit is about to get real.

Check out the sneak peak after the jump. The Expendables works its way into theaters August 13, 2010.

The Expendables Sneak Peak – Watch more Funny Videos

^{Hells Angels founding member Sonny Barger OR Mickey Rourke circa 1994?}

In addition to Potsdamer Platz, Mickey Rourke is circling another Tony Scott project, and he’s circling this one menacingly on a motorcycle while yelling hate speech. Typical Mickey.

Rourke is up for the role of the outlaw Sonny Barger in Hells Angels, a script that Scott has been developing for ten years. Now, Scott Frank has been brought in to rework the script that tells the story of a young cop who infiltrates the nefarious gang. This is spot-on casting. I can’t think of a single actor more appropriate than Mickey Rourke for the grizzled Hells Angels founder. You could have a motorcycle growing out of your ass, and Mickey Rourke would still be more appropriate for the role. (Deadline)

Entertainment Weekly aired a featurette centering on Iron Man 2‘s villains Whiplash and Justin Hammer. It’s nothing mind blowing, but for all those needing a fix it’ll "take you there" and have you feeling the effects for about twenty minutes afterwords, not unlike the coke Mickey Rourke used to rail off hotel carpets. Also, the suit Sam Rockwell is wearing fits him really well. What, a man can’t admire fine tailoring? **Rips off sleeveless polo. Gets int fighting stance**

Check out the featurette below. Iron Man 2 hits theaters May 7. (/Film)

And just for kicks, here’ Iron Man punching Hugh Grant.

(BuzzFeed)

Mickey Rourke stars in this commercial where he’s essentially playing his gruff self. He sits down at a hotel bar with his chihuahua, orders a beer, and the bartender has the balls to give him a non-alcoholic brand. The man must be suicidal. Who in their right mind tries to pull one over on Mickey Rourke when he would clearly have no qualms about using your eye socket as a bottle opener? If anyone knows when something’s lacking alcohol, it’s Rourke. (FilmDrunk)

^{"COOKIE???!!!"}

Looks like Tony Scott will finally have the chance to make his passion project Potsdamer Platz after nattering on and on about it for the last decade. Sheesh, we get it. You like movies about trains.

The film, about a New Jersey crime family expanding their business nationally, is expected to undergo a title and locale change as the latest script has the action moving from Germany to Puerto Rico. Mickey Rourke, Jason Statham, and Javier Bardem are all rumored to be circling the project. Though if Bardem drops out, Scott can probably get Jeffrey Dean Morgan at a bargain rate. It’s also being reported that the Crimson Tide director is trying to lure Gene Hackman out of retirement to take part in the film, but inside sources say that isn’t happening. I could have told you that. Dude is way too into taking bong rips and playing Forza Motorsport 3 to waste his time making movies. (Deadline)

The international poster for Iron Man 2 has arrived online and shows a bad-ass Mickey Rourke walking away from an explosion while Scarlett Johannson reminds us that her ass is in the movie. Look at Rourke just trying to walk away. Whenever there’s arson in Hollywood he’s the immediate suspect. Don’t try to pin this one on Robert, Mickey. He’s put those days behind him.

^{Ron Perlman’s face is a photo-cropper’s worst nightmare.}

When it was first reported that Mickey Rourke was joining Marcus Nispel‘s Conan remake, I was skeptical. The project just seemed to be too much in the B movie realm for Rourke. Also, it must be impossible to insure your film when you have Mickey Rourke and swords on set. But then I just figured that it was a cocaine-based decision and the money was too good to pass up. Sorry Eric Roberts, but Mickey Rourke has rubber cement habit to support.

Since that report, Rourke has dropped out in favor of Gods of War. Hellboy and Season of the Witch star Ron Perlman has stepped in to play Corin in his stead and it seems like a much better fit. Also note that Rachel Nichols and Said Taghmaoui (both of GI Joe) are rounding out the cast. Unless false reports pop up saying that Sir Richard Attenborough is circling the project, we can assume that the film is cast and the universe is balanced once again. (Vulture)

This 2:30 new trailer for Iron Man 2 packs more punch than the ten hour Academy Award broadcast I just live blogged until my fingers and eyes bled. Luckily for you, I stopped the hemorrhaaging long enough to write this post.

I was impressed with the first trailer for Iron Man 2, but the new one definitely sticks it in its predecessor and breaks it off. The reason for this: Scarlett Johansson as Black Widow. Can I just say, DAMN. Halfway through, she body-spins around some henchman before slamming his head in to the ground. Best way to die ever. The trailer also features more Stark, Fury, Whiplash, War Machine, and an easily foldable Iron Man suit, but no amount of CGI can trump Scarlett’s magnificent naturals (James Cameron hangs his head, defeated).

Check out the new trailer after the jump. Iron Man 2 hits theaters May 7, 2010.

Iron Man 2 New Trailer – Watch more Movie Trailers

^{World’s Greatest Dad.}

It was rumored some time ago that Mickey Rourke would portray Conan’s dad in Marcus Nispel‘s upcoming Conan remake. The dealmaking fell through at the time but the producers likely sweetened the pot by offering a bag of sweetened pot (it’s like kettle corn for your lungs). Now Rourke is close to signing on. As reported before Conan stars Fake Lenny Kravitz (with Leo Howard playing Lil’ Conan) as he goes on a quest to avenge the slaughter of his people.

This casting make perfect sense. If Rourke were to have a child, there’s no way that kid wouldn’t grow up to have dreadlocks and a sword collection. (THR)

Mickey Rourke plays a down on his luck trumpet player in his upcoming film Passion Play. Megan Fox plays a circus freak with wings on her back who helps Rourke’s character find redemption. They’re definitely an interesting pair to cast against one another and the veteran actor has only high praise for his co-star.

"I think the pleasant surprise was this girl who’s a world-class beauty turned out to be probably the best young actress I’ve ever worked with. At 23, I couldn’t do half of what she’s doing."

Really, Mickey? You sure you’re just not saying that because of her boobs and stuff?? Look, she’s a really pretty girl. We get that. But this is what they do, man. This is what they do!! One minute you’re complimenting her and telling her she’s better than Evan Rachel Wood and Scarlett Johanssen and Keira Knightley, but then all of a sudden you’re helping her move out of her apartment. Don’t do it, man. It’ll be you and Shia lugging her TV up six flights of stairs while that dude from 90210 plays grab-ass with her. I’ve seen it dozens of times. (EW)

OMG! OMG! OMG! (Heavy breathing) The… Iron… Man… 2… Trailer… Ngah… Ngah… Ngah… Is here! It’s got Tony Stark, Nick Fury, Mickey Rourke playing a Russian named Heatrash, wait no, WHIPLASH, and War Machine with Don Cheadle inside of it!

Iron Man 2 hits theaters May 7th, 2010.

Watch the trailer after the jump while I expel the thick mucus building up in my lungs!

Iron Man 2 Trailer – Watch more Funny Videos