Origin:

Often the most terrifying thing about a villain is their origin story. Michael Myers began his pattern of serial killings as a six-year-old boy in the quiet town of Haddonfield, Illinois. Mike Myers, however, launched his career from the place we least expected: Canada. I’m numb with fear just thinking about it.

Point: Mike Myers

Body Count:

The easiest way to gauge horror factor is by shear number of kills. Michael Myers has this wrapped up, with an on screen body count dating back to 1978 and nearing triple digits as of 2009‘s Halloween 2 remake. But while he might lack quantity in this department, Mike Myers more than makes up for it in quality. His most famous movie kill occurred when he (off screen) murdered the Sprockets film project in 2000, dashing the hopes of Dieter fans everywhere, and destroying David Hasselhoff‘s plans to install a swimming pool with his Sprocket’s cameo check. The deaths of dozens of fictional babysitters edge this out… barely.

Point: Michael Myers

And you thought it was scary when it was homicidal maniac Michael Myers. (Crushable)

You’ll get one piece of candy for each link.

_{Celebrity Karaoke (Moviefone)}

_{Man Invites Strangers to Sit On Face to Achieve World Peace (Asylum)}

_{Slutty Star Wars Halloween Costumes (Ranker)}

_{Moral of the Story: Don’t Wear Sandals (HolyTaco)}

_{John Milius Explains Apocalypse Now, His Hatred of Hippies (FilmDrunk)}

_{Hottest Animal Lovers (Maxim)}

_{Barstool Local Smokeshow of the Day: Limersa (BarstoolSports)}

_{Biker Crashes Headfirst into Wall (EgoTV)}

_{The Pajiba Power Rankings (Pajiba)}

_{Pokeman is a Young Man’s Game (Unreality)}

_{Some Spelling Lessons from the Wisconsin Badgers’ Fans (TotalProSports)}

_{18 Failed Celebrity Albums (Smosh)}

_{Hot Russian Spy Anna Chapman Poses for Maxim (BroBible)}

_{Miley Cyrus Gives Angry, Hate-Filled Speech (CelebJihad)}

_{Martin Kampmann Thinks Jake Shields is a Boring Fighter (CagePotato)}

_{President Obama to Appear on Mythbusters (PopEater)}

_{Eva Longoria Rapping (TuVez)}

_{Cowboys, Mountain Men, and Grizzly Bears (MadeMan)}

The new trailer for Shrek Forever After has hit, and it seems Dreamworks is kickin’ it up a notch. Don’t worry, it’s still a kids’ movie. I just try to find the most perverted part of everything and anything, and exploit it.

I’m big fan of the first Shrek, and even the second and third have their moments, but in Shrek Forever After I swear I can hear the staticy sound of crisp Benjamins passing over the mic as the cast counts their residuals. Far Away Land has grown tiresome, and the jokes about the fairy tale creatures we know and love fall flat. Will the Shrek series go out with a bang or a soft, wet fart? Find out May 21, 2010.

Check out the donkey on cat action below.