Have we as a nation forgotten Billy Mays?

Rather I should ask, have we moved on from Billy? Let’s take a look at how the world has changed without its most charismatic salesman.

The Nation

Today’s headlines are dominated by the news that Obamacare has been passed by the Supreme Court. In a 5-4 victory, the Court upheld the bill which means every American will now have to buy healthcare by 2014, and those with existing conditions will no longer be faced with prejudices.

The Media

Ann Curry gave a tearful farewell on The Today Show this morning. Suspicions have been that Curry was blamed for the show’s sagging ratings, and she was reassigned out of co-anchor chair. This was confirmed by her farewell speech. Ann Curry is a peach and didn’t deserve this treatment. But what do you expect from the network that consistently stiffed Conan O’Brien in favor of Jay Leno? Thank goodness Billy wasn’t around to see this.

Technology

Since Billy May’s passing, our whites have lost their gleam, our putties are a bit less mighty, our hooks less Herculean. But that’s not to say that there haven’t been wonderful advances. We all now carry a personal assistant around with us in our pockets thanks to Apple’s Siri. It means we’ll never have to use our fingers to text again nor have to deal with the complicated mechanics involved with converting ounces to pounds. We’re practically higher beings now.

But that’s not all! The last few years have given blessed the world with several bounties. The Bladeless Fan is now all the rage (though you can’t use it to immitate Darth Vader), we can clone and genetically alter our pets, and the WorldFirst F3 project has created a racing car made from food items. It’s an edible racecar. There’s even an Amtrak train that runs on rendered cattle fat. Take that, Henry Ford!

Entertainment

Clive Owen has been replaced by a guy named Michael Fassbender, and a silent film won Best Picture at the Academy Awards.

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But let’s now take a look at the lives Mays touched directly. Surely, their finding ways to honor the man and keep his torch lit.

Anthony Sullivan & Vince Offer

The beef continues.

It’s no secret that Mays was not a fan of Vince Offer after he publicly called him out and challenged him to a “pitch off” on the Adam Carolla Show. The feud started after Mays rose to prominence with products like his Zorbeez and Quick Chop. Then, failed filmmaker Vince Shlomi rebirthed himself as Infomercial pitchman Vince Offer, with products like ShamWow and Slap Chop — both direct rip-offs of Zorbeez and Quick Chop. The hatchet would not be buried before Mays passed away.

Instead, the hatchet was picked up by Billy’s former business partner Anthony Sullivan. Who has now reverse-Offered Offer by releasing a commercial for Sticky Buddy, a product that’s a blatant (and improved) version of Vince’s Schticky.

I have to admit, I’m pro-Sticky Buddy. It’s just a better value and Anthony Sullivan doesn’t punch women in the face. Okay. This Sticky Buddy parody may have helped put me over the top too.

His Son

Billy’s son, Billy Mays III, has found a way to both honor his father and give back to the fans. #WheresBillyMays is a website he founded where he curates interesting and respectful tributes to his dad found across the Internet. Like this awesome one:

If anything, it serves as a daily reminder that Billy Mays might be gone but he is in no way forgotten.

Ridley Scott’s Prometheus, a film that is sort of an Alien prequel, but if you say that, people will judge you for some reason, has officially been bestowed upon it an “R” rating. And you know what that means…

We’ll almost certainly be catching another glimpse of Michael Fassbender‘s penis. Hello, old friend.

Prometheus was given the rating due to “sci-fi violence including some intense images, and brief language.” I’m pretty sure you can substitute “British genitals” for “intense images” to see what they’re really getting at.

In all seriousness, it’s great to see a movie stick to the screenwriters‘ original intent and not water down content for broader distribution. Further, it will be nice to see a smart, violent film along the lines of Alien and Terminator, rather than fare that tends to fall on one side of the line or the other.

It also helps that focus groups showed that children were unable to even pronounce “Prometheus” when ordering tickets at the box office. They were all “Promeefus.” It was adorable.

This is a perfect example of how to market a film without spoiling it. The amount of production value used here is a turning point in the evolution of viral promotions. It’s slick and attention-grabbing and strong enough to draw the audience into the theater. I’m sure we’ll see this campaign’s influences in future viral marketing plans. Let’s take a look now at the viral videos that lead us up to this point.

Prometheus

In this second viral video, we’re introduced to Michael Fassbender’s David. Here David speaks about himself and what it’s like to be a robot created by Weyland Industries. There’s been a lot of speculation online that Fassbender would play an android in the film given his cherubic, blonde appearance. And now that cat’s out of the bag. Which teaches me to run up to the blondest person I see and check their fingerprints. Robots could be dwelling amongst us and we wouldn’t even know it.

Watchmen

This Watchmen viral video introduces the world to Dr. Manhattan by reviewing his origin and the innovations the supreme being brought to the fields of science, technology, renewable energy, and space exploration. However, he wasn’t able to convert atoms to do anything about that newscasters jacket. Even gods have their limits.

If anything, this international trailer for Ridley Scott’s maybe Alien prequel gives us a hint of the scope of this film. The large set pieces that build both the crew’s world and the alien civilization look massive and if we could figure out what the hell is going on here I’d bet we’re in for another tremendous science fiction film from Scott. Still feel bad that this bunch is being tortured, though. Then again, they’re all rather pretty and probably got unfair advantages at astronaut school. Maybe had they studied more, they wouldn’t have melted faces now. (via Twitch)

Cast: Gina Carano, Ewan McGregor, Michael Fassbender

Synopsis: A black ops super soldier seeks payback after she is betrayed and set up during a mission.

Release Date: January 20, 2011

At any rate, this trailer looks so bad ass that I’m willing to accept the apology. All is forgiven, Prometheus PR people. Let the healing begin.

That movie is titled Londongrad, and the studio is reportedly interested in director Rupert Wyatt (who did Rise of the Planet of the Apes) and Michael Fassbender to star. Fans of Fassbender know that he’s capable of doing a role like this after seeing his unforgettable performance as the hunger-striking Bobby Sands in Hunger. Both movies would be about people who died slowly and painfully for political reasons, albeit under very different circumstances. Sounds like a fun Saturday afternoon double feature to me! (Deadline)

6 photosCharlize Theron

Visionary filmmaker Ridley Scott returns to the genre he helped define, creating an original science fiction epic set in the most dangerous corners of the universe. The film takes a team of scientists and explorers on a thrilling journey that will test their physical and mental limits and strand them on a distant world, where they will discover the answers to our most profound questions and to life’s ultimate mystery.

(Collider)

No word yet on which characters will be played by which actors, but hopefully they’ll all be able to get their Irish accents right. At Swim-Two-Birds is set to begin shooting in spring 2012. (ScreenDaily)

7 photosKeira Knightley

The cast and material both look great. Mortensen plays Freud and Michael Fassbender plays Carl Jung. Keira Knightley plays the sexed-up looney bird he plows and Vincent Cassel rocks a beard.

iWatch Some New iFootage From Park Chan-Wook’s New iPhone Movie

Stoker is about the strange events that happen when a young girl’s father dies and her long lost uncle moves back into her life. Will the young girl want revenge of some kind? Damn it, I sure hope so. (Variety)

This is the best prequel ever, because it actually tells a story. It’s not just setup, although there’s plenty of that too. The characters are actually different at this stage of the story, not just younger imitations. Xavier (James McAvoy) uses his telepathy to pick up babes, and has a cocky swagger that’s in no way reminiscent of Patrick Stewart. Mystique as a child is sweet and heartwarming, and once she grows up to be Jennifer Lawrence she’s a lovely lady, not yet the cold, hard edged Rebecca Romijn version.

Kevin Bacon Shows His Skills In New ‘X-Men: First Class’ Trailer

The superpowers get to be delightful at this stage because they haven’t totally become burdens yet. The kids get to train and experience the joy of discovery, like the best parts of Spider-Man and Iron Man. It’s just plain awesome, Azazel teleporting humans to the sky and dropping them, Magneto turning a knife into a boomerang or turning barb wire into snares. It’s beautiful and tragic too. Spoiler alert, but not all the mutants grow up to be X-Men, especially not the ones who don’t have well known comic book names.

The film really emphasizes the practical uses of mutant powers. Xavier even comments that his telepathy is being blocked, like, “Oh well, it’s not working right now so I can’t help you today. Maybe I need to call tech support.” It’s momentous, triumphant, powerful and still debates all that important philosophy. It totally invalidates the prologue of X-Men: The Last Stand but something tells me no one will mind that.

I love the way Matthew Vaughn shoots. He creates Hitchcockian suspense, only instead on knowing there’s a bomb under the desk, we know that Magneto is going to bend some metal. But will it be the gun or the coin or all the metal in the room? Vaughn’s camera captures little details that make the scene feel real, like Magneto’s reflection in a gold bar.

3 photosThe January Jones/Emma Frost Underwear Shots We’ve All Been Waiting For

More obvious details make the world feel even more real than the Bryan Singer films. Yeah, it’s a period piece, but using the period details grounds the film where X2 will still feel generically modern long after 2003. So they play “Palisades Park” in a go-go club and the fashion is disco. Just showing Mystique brushing her teeth gives her a real world context.

First Class is this year’s great comic book movie, up there with Spider-Man 1 and The Dark Knight, maybe somewhere in between them. (Sorry Green Lantern, it won’t be you this summer.) It’s the summer movie I’ve been waiting for. Actually, it makes me realize I might have been settling for others before this.

There’s also some choice shots of Michael Fassbender, Nicholas Hoult, Kevin Bacon, James McAvoy, and more. So enjoy, and remember: With great power comes great responsib– uh, mutants. (Movieline)

I thought I was bored with vampires, but a vampire movie from Jim Jarmusch is pretty damn enticing, especially with this cast. Comparisons are being made with Jarmusch’s Ghost Dog: The Way of the Samurai, but I don’t think we have any way on knowing if this is going to be Jarmusch at his most accessible or if this will be more like an Ozu movie with vampires. I’m happy though, because both of those sound pretty good. (The Playlist)

First up, a new 30 second ad for Harry Potter and the Deathly Hollows Part 2. My opinion is: this conclusion will be epic. I don’t know why I think that. Maybe it’s the epic music, the epic explosion sequences, or maybe it’s the fact that they literally call it “The Epic Conclusion.” Who knows? I do know the last Harry Potter stars Daniel Radcliffe and quidditches into theaters July 15, 2012.

Second, it’s a new TV spot for X-Men: First Class. For some reason, the Fox marketing department hasn’t shown us any trailers, clips, character trailers, stills or set photos for this movie. Oh wait, the opposite of what I just said, times a billion. Here’s a new compilation of clips to excite your latent mutant genes. Starring James McAvoy and Michael Fassbender, X-Men: First Class evolves in theaters June 3, 2012.

Fassbender is in talks to join Danny Boyle’s thriller remake Trances. He would play the leader of a gang, who teams up with a low-level employee at an art auction house to plan a robbery. However, in true “Flintstones” fashion, the assistant guy gets hit in the head and wakes up with amnesia, which threatens the whole kooky scheme. It’s a remake of a 2003 TV movie of the same name by British director Joe Ahearne.

Trances plans to film this fall, unless Boyle gets hit on the head or something. (Hollywood Reporter)

Mere hours after releasing a US trailer, Fox has released a new international trailer with some previously unseen footage peppered in. If you were wondering whether mutants and humans were gonna collide politically and philosophically in X-Men: First Class, this trailer is your definitive answer. Of course, given that pretty much every X-Man everything is about mutants and humans colliding, the extra lines of dialogue here aren’t much of a reveal. Also, why is the international version of the trailer plottier? I guess us dumb ‘mericans can’t handle too many extra purty soundin’ story-words.

James McAvoy and Michael Fassbender star as younger, cuddlier versions of Professor X and Magneto. You can see them and all your X-Friends unite in theaters June 3, 2011.

Meanwhile, the blog Alien Prequel News has reported that they’ve seen recognizable xenomorph costumes on set, with some modification. So, you will be seeing the aliens in Ridley Scott‘s new Alien film, even though it isn’t exactly an Alien film. Got it? Here’s a description of what the reporter saw:

“Though security on the set is very tight with the good weather, dock doors have been open and cast and crew have been enjoying lunch outdoors. I can confirm seeing 3 aliens having lunch. Not the whole costume but blue-ish costumes and the unmistakable heads hanging around their shoulders.”

In space, no one can hear you scream, “I ordered the salami, god damn it.”

Prometheus, starring Michael Fassbender and Charlize Theron, enters our atmosphere June 8, 2012. (APN)

This trailer pretty similar to the last one, but there are a few surprises. And maybe particularly sharp-eyed viewers will be able to pick out even more. And if we have any visitors whose mutant power is that they can spot differences in similar movie trailers, it’ll be like you’re watching two completely different things. I don’t think we have many of those though.

In Fox’s new poster for X-Men: First Class, we see Beast, Mystique, and a bunch of non-blue muties all walking in different directions. Or standing around. Yeah, it’s a little awkward, but nowhere near the train wreck that was the last set of posters, which featured some ridiculous floating-head-on-crotch action. And I do like the tag-line, though I would have considered switching Mystique and Emma Frost. The White Queen has two things I want to see more up close, if you know what I mean, and what I mean are her long boots and cape. I also mean her boobs.

The X-Men assemble in theaters June 3rd, starring Michael Fassbender, James McAvoy, January Jones, Kevin Bacon and a soon-to-be-Hunger-Games-ing Jennifer Lawrence. (EW)

Here’s another mutant leak, and I’m not referring to Nightcrawler’s green piss. (I’m assuming he pisses green, though I really have no idea.) YouTubers are struggling to keep a not-yet-released TV spot for X-Men: First Class online, but Marvel and co. keep bringing it down. If the video is still up, you’ll see a little new footage, plus the old footage you love, and a tagline saying there’ll be a new trailer on the movie’s Facebook. I wish I had the power to keep lawyers from tearing this off-line, but not even mighty Apocalypse can battle high-powered lawyers.

“‘Good Vibrations,’ which will focus on Belfast music legend Terri Hooley. Hooley founded the Good Vibrations record store on Belfast’s Great Victoria Street, from which a record label sprung, with bands like The Moondogs, The Shapes, Protex, The Outcasts and, most notably, The Undertones”

Hooley will be played by Richard Dormer. And Michael Fassbender, as part of his contractual obligation to appear in every movie, will be in it as well, along with Liam Cunningham. No word yet on who they’re going to play, but there IS word on who’s going to play the music: David Holmes, who also wrote the score for the fantastic film Hunger, also starring Michael Fassbender. And what’s more punk than starving yourself to death in prison? (via The Playlist)

The art direction of these covers is so convincing that I’m not entirely convinced these actors didn’t actually exist in the 1960′s. I’m going to need to see a picture of January Jones wearing nothing more than today’s newspaper immediately. (Total Film)

Akira

Andrew Garfield, James McAvoy and Robert Pattinson have been given the current draft of Akira, re-written by Steve Kloves. They’re all up for the lead role of Tetsuo. If the audition requires shirtlessness, Pattinson’s got the experience edge. Meanwhile, for the role of Kaneda, Chris Pine, Justin Timberlake, Garrett Hedlund, Michael Fassbender and Joaquin Phoenix are under consideration.

The story takes place in the very distant future – 2019 – where a bike gang leader must save his buddy from becoming the victim of a medical experiment. Warner Bros. and director Albert Hughes (From Hell) are excited about the new draft, though probably Albert’s co-director brother Allen is not, since he’s been left out of the picture. Or maybe he too became the victim of a medical experiment somewhere in Neo-Tokyo. (Deadline)

I was disappointed in the new Thor posters, but these are far worse. Why are the heads of Magneto (Michael Fassbender) and Charles Xavier (James McAvoy) floating on their own crotches? I get what they were going for: “the fresh faced youngsters will morph into these classic silhouettes… with time.” However, I’d prefer they keep their floating heads inside their pants, thanks.

Let’s hope the film’s more in-line with the kickass trailer than these Photoshop nightmares. Seriously, these could be images from someone’s nightmares, and not in a cool way. More of an annoying way.

The first class of X-Men blast into theaters June 3rd. (ComingSoon)

As you can see James McAvoy becomes bald and wheelchair-bound while Michael Fassbender gets a pretty sweet cape and helmet. And I think he can fly somewhat. Hey, but y’know, that wheelchair has some sweet rims. (FilmZ)

In an interview with Entertainment Weekly, when asked whether or not he was playing a tin man, Fassbender said, ”I don’t know what I can say!” Then he reportedly nodded in the affirmative. Or maybe I should say, “a-firm-a-tive.” (Please imagine that being said in an android voice.)

However, that’s not all. Fassbender confirmed the wisdom of internet rumor droids by stating the following about the connections between Alien and Prometheus:

“[Prometheus is] a different story, but it’s also got the traditional roots. Alien fans will recognize things in it. It’s not ignoring Alien, there’s still a link to that world. But it’s a different story. It’s definitely connected, though.”

So there is a connection. Does that mean Prometheus will also connect with the unreleased, Japanese 8-bit Aliens NES game? I can only speculate about it and hope an actor confirms, potentially blowing his non-disclosure agreement. (ComingSoon)

X-Men: First Class takes us back to the early days of the X-Men where you should pretty much forget everything you saw in the other movies. Beast and Mystique are kids, Wolverine is nowhere in sight, and your girlfriend wants to do it with Professor X now. Is that the Brave New World that Charles Xavier dreams about?

That’s what I’m guessing is going on in this new preview picture from X-Men: First Class. According to a mind-alert from Professor Xavier, we should be getting the trailer any day now. This is yet another single frame to satisfy our need for this trailer, which is greater than Beast’s need to prove he’s the smartest guy in the room.

Actually, there have been so many single images released at this point, I think we could actually print them all out and see the entire movie in flip book format. If the dialogue is anything like the stuff we heard in X3, a mute version would probably be for the best. Bigger version below… (Empire)