Screen Junkies » michael caine

Right Away, Sir: The 7 Best Assistants And Butlers From TV And Film

Penn Collins — Thu, 20 Oct 2011 13:00:30 +0000

Good help is hard to find, unless you live in the movies, in which case, you can craft the perfect assistant to tend to your every need. You won’t get any sassmouth from these assistants, butlers, and houseboys. Mostly, you’ll just get the paper and a piping-hot cup of coffee without having to ask for it twice.

So if you’re in the market for an assistant, but don’t have a lot of extra cash to spend on a pedigreed butler, just swing by Home Depot, pick up a day laborer, toss him in a tux, then show him the following films so he can learn how to really serve his employer.

Howard Weinstein – Father of the Bride

This snobby assistant (played flawlessly by B.D. Wong) lives to serve wedding guru Franck Eggelhoffer. With an oddly Jewish name, the Asian assistant seems to do most of the heavy lifting. Sadly, his appearance was a full decade before the Bluetooth age, otherwise, you can bet dollars to donuts that he would be rocking one in each ear, while explaining why you can’t in good conscience spend less than $3,400 for the groom’s cake.

Indicative exchange:

George: Are you Franck?
Howeard: Hahaha. I wish.

Brandt – The Big Lebowski

Humor is overrated, especially in an assistant. I prefer canine-like devotion, as does Mr. Lebowski, apparently. Brandt certainly fits that description. While enthusiasm doesn’t seem to be his strong suit, he’s got a job to do, and he’s going to do it. Further, he suffers abuse from his employer pretty well, which is a really nice trait, especially considering how much we will all want to torment our butlers and assistants once we hire them. I mean, that’s the point, right?

Just because he has no sense of humor doesn’t mean you can’t still treat him like crap, just like The Big Lebowski does.

Indicative exchange:

Bunny Lebowski: I’ll suck your cock for a thousand dollars.
Brandt: Ah hahahahaha! Wonderful woman. We’re all, we’re all very fond of her. Very free-spirited.
Bunny Lebowski: Brandt can’t watch, though, or he has to pay a hundred.
Brandt: Ah haha. That’s marvelous.
The Dude: Uh, I’m just gonna go find a cash machine.

Matthew Modine ‘A Key Villain’ In ‘The Dark Knight Rises’

Joseph Gibson — Tue, 31 May 2011 17:22:41 +0000

3 photosNew ‘Dark Knight Rises’ Set Photos And The Secret Of Bane’s Ooze

When the news hit that Matthew Modine was cast in Christopher Nolan‘s The Dark Knight Rises, it was assumed he’d just be playing some dude. After all, who better to play some dude than Matthew Modine, king of the dudes?

But now it’s being reported that his part is actually “a key villain.” More specifically, he’s playing a corrupt politician by the name of “Nixon.” That’s right, a corrupt politician named “Nixon.” It’s a bit lame and obvious, so part of me thinks this might be some kind of elaborate red herring or something. Or maybe he’s actually playing President Richard Nixon. That would be cool. (Showbiz 411)

‘Dark Knight Rises’ Began Shooting. Can You Feel It, Nerds?

Geoffrey Golden — Fri, 20 May 2011 02:28:12 +0000

Like the Force, nerds around the world feel a collective sense of joy, whether they know why or not. It doesn’t matter whether they’re unsuccessfully organizing a D&D game between busy friends or complaining about “Doctor Who” to their moms, today is a day when geeks will feel good: The Dark Knight Rises has begun principal photography.

Christopher Nolan‘s final journey into Gotham city limits will shoot in the US, India, England and Scotland. The cities in America that will have Batman’s temporary protection are New York, Los Angeles and super-glamorous Pittsburgh. I guess the cast is gonna rack up a Bat Cave’s worth of frequent flyer miles. Christian Bale, Michael Caine, Anne Hathaway and Joseph Gordon-Levitt are gonna fly free for a long time. Of course, they could always just take the Bat Plane.

The Dark Knight Rises swoops into theaters July 20, 2012, but first they have to shoot the damn thing. (TheWrap)

Warner Bros Forces ‘Dark Shadows’ Into The Light With Release Date

Geoffrey Golden — Thu, 12 May 2011 23:57:53 +0000

Three Warner Bros movies got release dates, so mark your calendars. Or just let the incessant marketing next year remind you. Either way works.

Dark Shadows, a gothy new Tim Burton / Johnny Depp love-fest, opens May 11, 2012. Michelle Pfeiffer, Eva Green and Helena Bonham Carter also star in this 60′s cult TV show turned feature film. Get ready to see vampires, ghosts and ghouls during the scariest time of the year: mid-May. oooOOOooo.

Rivals, starring Will Ferrell and Zach Galifianakis as two guys who I’m sure will not being competing against one another, opens Aug. 10, 2012. It’s the story of two rival political candidates, directed by Jay Roach. I would have hoped they’d be running together on the Frat Party ticket. Ah well.

However, before all that, you and Dwayne Johnson are going on a journey together. Specifically, a Journey 2: The Mysterious Island 3D journey. Michael Caine, Josh Hutcherson and Vanessa Hudgens will be along for your crazy ride come Jan. 27, 2012. It’s sure to be a journey… into pure cinematic genius. (Deadline)

Just Give In And Watch A ‘Cars 2′ Trailer

Joseph Gibson — Thu, 12 May 2011 17:23:47 +0000

Today a new trailer for Cars 2 dropped, exciting fans of unnecessary sequels the world over. There’s talking cars, spy action, Michael Caine, and America’s Favorite Funnyman Larry The Cable Guy.

From what I can tell, this trailer does have some new footage in it. So if you’ve been clamoring for a few extra scraps from the Cars 2 table, you’re welcome. You only have a month and a half left to wait for the whole thing, since the movie is coming out on June 24th. Memorize the date. Or, you know, don’t.

Car Fetishists Will Get Weirdly Excited By These ‘Cars 2′ Videos

Geoffrey Golden — Fri, 21 Jan 2011 04:28:01 +0000

There are all kinds of weird fetishes out there, from furries who dress up in animal costumes to eproctophiliacs who get turned on by farts. (Note to Hollywood producers: why no eprcrocto rom-com starring Jennifer Aniston, who loves to smell Jack Black‘s farts?) If you prefer tailpipe to tail, these odd turntable videos to promote Cars 2 will be auto-erotic entertainment for you.

Meant to mimic the way cars spin in car shows, I think anthropomorphizing the cars makes this YouTube outing feel a little creepy. Especially because they’re turning slowly and there’s no music. No distractions. Just you and the car. Imagine getting inside Holley Shiftwell, clutching her, driving her insane as you press firmly on her… brakes?

And not coincidentally, I’m putting the breaks on this line of thinking.

Cars 2 zooms into theaters June 24th and features the voices of Owen Wilson, Larry the Lovable Cable Guy and Michael Caine. (Collider)

‘The Dark Knight Rises’ Starts Shooting In May

Col. Longshanks — Fri, 19 Nov 2010 17:17:51 +0000

Nolan keeps a very formal set.

We can either call this a confirmation or the inane ramblings of a British madman, but Michael Caine has told Empire that The Dark Knight Rises will beginning shooting in May 2011. Alfred himself said, “Emma [Thomas], the producer, said we’d get the script in January. Christopher said: ‘Script in January, shoot in May, finish in November.’” He then went on to say, “Christopher is the most secretive guy in the world. He won’t tell you anything.” Well he obviously can’t tell YOU anything, Caine. You immediately scamper over to Empire Headquarters and bang on the front door whilst shouting, “I’ve got a Batman scoop!” Now we’ll know the culprit when an “anonymous source” leaks set photos.

Michael Caine-Mobile Blows Stuff Up In ‘Cars 2′ Trailer

Col. Longshanks — Tue, 16 Nov 2010 17:04:15 +0000

Disney has dropped the trailer for Pixar’s Cars 2. Michael Caine joins the talking automobile cast as a British intelligent agent who gets into it with Lightning McQueen (Owen Wilson) and Mater (Larry the Cable Guy) as they take part in the first world Grand Prix. First of all, the British government would never spend millions to train an Aston Martin to spy for them, and second, I have it on good authority that anything voiced by Larry the Cable Guy is banned from Asia. Aside from all that, Pixar has never screwed anything up. I wasn’t a huge fan of the first Cars, which I believe is the national consensus, but it made enough to warrant a sequel, so here’s hoping Caine can bring some class to the franchise by shooting rockets out of his nostrils.

Links Away: How Michael Caine Speaks

Col. Longshanks — Tue, 09 Nov 2010 01:09:26 +0000

Steve Coogan and Rob Brydon argue on their show “The Trip” about who does a better Michael Caine impression. I can’t tell who wins. Brydon points out how slow Caine speaks, and Coogan exemplifies the broken speech pattern when Caine gets upset. I could watch this for hours. (BuzzFeed)

Ere are your bluhy links.

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Michael Caine Accepts ‘Journey 2: The Mysterious Island’ Paycheck

Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000

Michael Caine has admitted on record that the only reason he did Jaws: The Revenge was for the money and the free trip to the Bahamas. "I have never seen it, but by all accounts it is terrible. However, I have seen the house that it built, and it is terrific!" So, there’s not much surprise that he’s agreed to co-star opposite the Rock in the Hawaii-based Journey 2: The Mysterious Island. Plus, he gets to work with Cats & Dogs 2: The Revenge Of Kitty Galore director Brad Peyton. What actor would turn down that opportunity?!

In the film, he’ll portray Josh Hutcherson‘s adventure-seeking granddad who wanders off and winds up on a mysterious island. This will be an action-heavy role for Caine that will see him squaring off against giant bees. If you listen closely, that beeping sound is a dump truck full of money backing up to Oscar-winner Michael Caine‘s terrific house. (THR)

New ‘Inception’ Poster May Cause The Dizzies

Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000

Inception continually insists on spitting in gravity‘s face. If Sir Isaac Newton laid eyes upon this new poster his powdered wig would spin round from pure outrage. What’s the floor?! What’s the ground?! City-dwellers have to spend most of the day just trying to maintain their balance. It’s the maintenance workers I feel the most sorry for, though. The high rise window washers must curse their existence with each rising sun. (IMPAwards)