A robot would obviously win in a fight against a zombie, right? Well,what if that zombie were an intelligent zombie? Think about that.
Michael Bay has just written himself into Taylor Lautner’s calendar with the most awesome ink money can buy.
For those of you curious what blurry, incomprehensible clusterf*ck of sharp metal Megatron will transform into in Michael Bay’s Transformers: Dark Of The Moon, the wait is over.
The conspiracy is out! The teaser trailer for Michael Bay’s Transformers: Dark of the Moon has landed (puuuuuuunriffic!) We get a nice moody build-up, but the basic gist is astronauts exploring the moon find an alien life form. I have a feeling Shia LaBeouf then comes in and saves the day.
Michael Bay sat down with a few reporters recently to present the Transformers 3 teaser. He also took the opportunity to talk about his new found love of 3D, his new leading lady, and his sh*tty sense of humor.
Michael Bay directed this new holiday spot for Victoria’s Secret. Seems like these ads pretty much direct themselves now. This year’s doesn’t even have any explosions. Smells like a phoned in job if I’ve ever smelled one.
Michael Bay has some news for morons. There have recently been rumors that Transformers 3: Dark Of The Moon has been having problems with its 3Dness, which is ridiculous. This is Michael Bay we’re talking about.
Back away slowly, Mark.
Entertainment Tonight visited the set of Transformers: Dark of the Moon in Chicago in the very excited way that ET visits things. Star Shia LeBeouf was either playing along with the amped up enthusiasm, or he's been dipping into the booger sugar between takes. I realize he's a passionate guy and all, but something feels a little…twitchy about his demeanor.
ET also interviews newbie female lead Rosie Huntington-Whiteley, who at least to me, doesn't seem to have the same "Damn, who is that hot-ass girl?!" appeal as Megan Fox. Spielberg liked her though, so what the hell do I know. I'm sure she's a better actor than Fox. Shit, Michael Bay's a better actor than Fox. And speaking of Michael Bay, ET gets him on record saying James Cameron shot Avatar like a little bitch. He doesn't use those exact words, but it's pretty obvious he poo-poos green screen.
Go behind the scenes after the jump…
Michael Bay and James Cameron: Two directors who don’t take any sh*t, with comparatively different results. Bay’s actually kind of bowing to Cameron by shooting Transformers 3 in 3D. He’d always said he thought it was just a gimmick. So now he’s got to be nice to 3D camera inventor Vincent Pace.
“We’re doing Transformers with Michael Bay, and that’s a big challenge because he’s not the kind of director that’s going to give you a break,” Pace said as he demonstrated his cameras from Avatar. “But he met it halfway and he said, ‘Look, it complements my product, and I want to incorporate this into my shooting style.’”
More after the jump…
"Is there anybody out there?"
Transformers 3 officially has a title, and it officially doesn't make any sense. Transformers: The Dark Of The Moon is the title that an adult pieced together, wrote down on a page, submitted to a major film studio, and will now be printed on billboards, T-shirts, posters, and fast food tie-ins.
Sounds like a) a clever way of side-stepping legal issues with Pink Floyd, or b) a note someone would jot down while baked out of their mind. Not sure if the baked person in question is Michael Bay or writer Ehren Kruger, but it's something we'd expect more from Shia. He's at that age. (Collider)
"Follow me if you want to live!!!"
There's a video going around the Internet that depicts a young woman gleefully throwing newborn puppies into a raging river. Seeing as the Internet is comprised of 80% adorable puppies, that sh*t just don't fly. Michael Bay took time out of his busy schedule of writing terse letters, to write a terse letter damning the puppy-thrower, while placing a bounty on her head:
There is a disturbing video going around the news outlets. It’s a video of blonde young woman in a red sweatshirt casually tossing squealing puppies into the fast-moving river one by one.
Michael Bay has informed me that he is offering a $50,000 reward for information leading to the arrest and successful prosecution of the woman in the red sweatshirt and the person who shot this act of cruelty.
And now it's time to pay up. 4chan was already on the case and managed to gather everything there is to know about the young woman, including her name, phone number, address, school address, email address, Facebook profile, and Volleyball team info (?). Good job, Internet. Too bad 4chan users are anonymous and can't outright accept the money. Michael Bay, you can leave that $50K in the newspaper box on the northeast corner of Wilshire Blvd and N. Arnaz Drive. It will make its way into the right hands.
As if that weren't a sweet enough payout, I would like to up the ante by personally offering a heartfelt pat on the back to the first person who ties the culprits to a chair and force feeds them a bag of cement mix. (WWTDD)
We all know that millions of young minds will be permanently damaged by Michael Bay's Transformers 3. But usually, the causalities don't start rolling in until after the film hits theaters. However, it seems this installment of the Transformers trilogy has already claimed its first victim.
Authorities say the "Transformers 3" crew was filming late Wednesday in the Chicago suburb of Hammond, Ind., using several vehicles and drivers. Police say something went wrong and an object went through the windshield of a car, hitting the driver. In a statement, police said the vehicle kept going for a mile before stopping. Police did not release the driver's name. The person was airlifted to a hospital.
For the love of God, the film hasn't even reached post production, and people are already being hospitalized. Although based on the description, this might make for one hell of a 3D experience. Even so, we wish the extra a speedy recovery, and pray for an end to the senseless cycle of violence that is the Transformers franchise. (HitFix)
Michael Bay is calling bullsh*t on all of the following: TMZ reported yesterday that two men claimed they "got into a scuffle with a man they claim is Bay's private security guard" on August 24, 2008. (Yes, that's two years ago and they're just having a problem with it now) They were tossed out of a nightclub, at which time Bay's drunk security guard pistol whipped the living crap out of them, breaking teeth and bones, before fleeing the scene. Bay took time out from his busy kabooming schedule on Transformers 3 to set the record straight on his website. Check out Bay's response after the jump…
Michael Bay has been laying waste to Chicago under the guise of shooting the big budget action movie sequel Transformers 3. We've been seeing a ton of pics and videos from the set rolling in over the past few weeks, and today is no exception. /Film put together a great collection of the latest footage and shots, and I thought I'd share some of it with you here. Warning: Sh*t gets real.
Alien abductions and big explosions: together at last!
Director Michael Bay is teaming with Paramount Pictures to produce Bobby Glickert's upcoming alien film, tentativly titled Confidential Alien Project (don't let them screw with that title, Bobby). While Glickert has directed a few horror shorts, this will be his first full-length feature. Insiders are comparing the film to both Cloverfield and Paranormal Activity, which is a nice way of saying it's cheap. Considering Paramount is hoping to keep the budget at around $12 million, that seems to be the case.
Deadline is reporting that Bay's production company, Platinum Dunes, is currently shopping for writers, so if anyone knows a lot of synonyms for "Kaboom," send your resume here.
Trespassers will be shot on sight at Bay's candy mansion.
We've been patiently waiting to see what Adam McKay, Will Ferrell, and Tommy Wirkola have in store with Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters. It looks like Michael Bay doesn't have the kind of patience we do. He's decided to make his own effects-driven Hansel & Gretel movie in lederhosen-crapping 3D!!
Not much is known about the project besides filming is slated to begin in the Spring of 2011, and that Avatar designer Joseph C. Pepe has been hired to bring the monsters of German mythology to life. Bay is not expected to direct, which is a shame. I'd love to watch set videos of him screaming at chubby German children. Oh well. Maybe there's hope that he'll guest-direct an episode of "Two and a Half Men." (Press Release)
**SPOILER ALERT** The crackpot team of Steven Spielberg and Michael Bay have done it again. They've come up with a beginning for their movie. All good filmmakers know a film needs a beginning, and Transformers 3 will be no exception. I don't want to ruin it for those who didn't lose interest in the franchise after Bay introduced racist robots, so I'll just say upfront that it involves the moon, which we already knew. It does not, however, involve E.T., which my hilariously misleading above picture suggests. That's photoshopped, by the way.If you want to ruin the opening scene of Transformers 3 for yourself, check out CHUD's scoop after the jump…
I believe the first part.Michael Bay is delivering his wrath upon Chi-Town. The Chicago Tribune put together an extensive gallery of pics from the set of Transformers 3, which is currently filming around LaSalle Street in downtown Chicago. The term "Windy City" gets a whole new meaning as natural gusts are replaced with violent releases of pressure from the many explosions Bay will set off around the area. Some are for the movie, others are just for shits and giggles.Check out video and more pics from the set after the jump…
Michael Bay doesn't eff with that post-conversion 3D bullsh*t. He's bringing 3D cameras to the set of Transformers 3, and he's bringing them hard. Looks like the director who spits on the idea of static shots has dumped his old school filmmaking ways by making the switch from film to video. Vince Pace, Innovator of FUSION 3D and 2D digital camera systems developed with James Cameron, laid down the skinny for MarketSaw:“Trying to lay low and do what I do best. We took delivery of the first Alexa cameras for Hugo and have 23 more on the way. Transformers has also signed on to shoot 3D throughout the film. I am working on a big Disney film but can’t mention the name and are lining up five more films. Just wrapped on additional photography for Resident Evil and Tron. Currently in Hawaii and flying out to London for Hugo.”It must be nice to be smart enough to invent new technology. I reckon someone could make quite the hefty profit owning an idea and all. Vince Pace has his digital camera systems he rents to Michael Bay and Martin Scorsese, and I have my automatic super absorbant juicer rag I rent to my slow neighbor. Splitting hairs really. (/Film)
Michael Bay is currently shooting Transformers 3 in Playa Vista, CA, and Just Jared managed to snag some pictures from the set. Let me set the scene so that you may fully understand the gravitas behind the stills. Shia LaBeouf, Rosie Huntington-Whiteley, and Tyrese Gibson are being chased by an evil Decepticon who tips over a building. Oh the subtext! The building is clearly a metaphor for the Decepticon's abusive father. I smell an Oscar. **Places lid on trashcan stuffed with a decomposing grouch**Check out the pics after the jump…
Michael Bay has followed in the footsteps of Shia LaBeouf and Megan Fox, he's crapping on Michael Bay. In an interview with USA Today, Bay admits that Transformers 2 wasn't that great of a film. He's even willing to take some of the blame… sort of."I'll take some of the criticism," says Bay, standing at a set built to resemble a dilapidated nuclear reactor. "It was very hard to put (the sequel) together that quickly after the writers' strike (of 2007-08)."Are you sure this was on set? I hear Michael Bay has a bed shaped like a dilapidated nuclear reactor."One thing we're getting rid of is what I call the dorky comedy," Bay adds. So the twins, the two bumbling, slang-spewing robots? "They're basically gone,"Please bookmark this article for when something far worse than the Twins pratfalls its way throughout the movie. I'm hoping to build a court case modeled after The People Vs. Revenge of the Sith. At least we may have a more fascinating villian (like that matters in these films). Bay admits that the Fallen was kind of a "sh*t character," and reveals the next film will feature Shockwave as the blurry, jumble of robot that will scream his own name for zero discernible reason. He also notes:"As a trilogy, it really ends," he says. "It could be rebooted again, but I think it has a really killer ending."Sure. We've all heard that before.
Democracy in action. Michael Bay has gotten it in his head to blow a whole bunch of crap up in our nation's capitol for his little movie film Transformers 3. Washington D.C. loves that Bay is bringing money to the city by shooting on location there, but it's not such a big fan of his plans to stage a "car race" along the National Mall's gravel paths and flood it with artificial light in order to shoot at night, and using simulated explosions and pyrotechnics at locations along Pennsylvania and Independence avenues. When President Obama heard the news he said, and I quote, "F*ck that sh*t. I need to sleep." Bay, however, doesn't subscribe to "laws" or "cease and desist" orders. He plans on shooting in D.C. until the National Guard drags him out bicycle-kicking and screaming. A studio spokesperson told The Washington Post, "We've gone from two weeks to 10 days to three days to seven days." They're working closely with Bay to further his understanding of time and the long hand on a watch. So far they've gotten to boom o'clock. (FilmSchoolRejects)
Michael Bay and his team of lovable misfits (Brad Fuller and Andrew Form) have inked a deal with Paramount Pictures and Nickelodeon to produce a live-action reboot of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles franchise. The group is scheduled to meet with writers in the next few weeks, although given that this is a Michael Bay production, the hiring of a "writer" is simply a formality to appease the WGA.While casting details have yet to be determined, Twilight heartthrob Taylor Lautner should be a shoe in for the role of Master Splinter thanks to his peak physical condition and his rat-like facial features. However, it remains to be seen if Lautner is willing to let Michael Bay film him washing a car in a string bikini. (Deadline)
This is what happens when you complain.Last week we pondered whether Rosie Huntington-Whiteley, the Victoria's Secret model with zero acting credibility, would be selected to fill the Megan Fox-shaped hole in all of our Transformers 3 hearts. Today we have the answer: duh.Pending negotiations, Rosie will fill the role of semi-nude girl tinkering with a motor, and star opposite Shia LaBeouf, Josh Duhamel, and Tyrese Gibson. If she opts in, Rosie will be having her leg humped by either a miniature Decepticon or Shia LaBeouf within the next few weeks. (Deadline)
Techno-thriller. Shut up.Michael Bay is pulling out a different sword for a change. Paramount has optioned the upcoming novel "Gideon's Sword," for Bay to produce. The novel, gang-banged by Douglas Preston and Lincoln Child, is the first techno-thriller in a series centering around the ridiculously-named character Gideon Crew. Sounds like a name Sylvester Stallone would use to check into hotel rooms. No word yet on what the plot entails beyond the "techno-thriller" description, which sadly means I didn't get to Photoshop Michael Bay pointing his glock at LARPers. We're all kinda sad about that here at Screen Junkies HQ. (Variety)
Meet Rosie Huntington-Whiteley. She's a lithe Victoria's Secret model, and rumors are she might be the replacement for Megan Fox in Transformers 3. Michael Bay no doubt met her while adding unnecessary explosions to the spots he directs for the lingerie brand. No telling yet if Rosie can act, but she forms a convincing fist in the above pic, and it's not like acting is a crucial requirement on Bay sets. Breasts. Now those are mandatory.Who would your choice be? Besides Diora Baird, you guys. I'd give you more pics of Rosie so you can make an informed decision, but you've already Googled her and aren't even reading this. (Latino Review via GeekWeek)
This is what happens when you compare Michael Bay to Hitler. He fires your ass like a ruthless dictator. Deadline has learned that Paramount won't be picking up Megan Fox's option for Transformers 3 after Michael Bay said, and I'm paraphrasing, "F that B!"Right now the director who rules with an iron fist is finishing up the Transformers 3 script with writer Ehren Kruger, and they feel "giving Shia a new love interest makes more sense for the story." Right, because it's ridiculous that a nerd such as Sam Witwicky would stand by the same insanely hot girl for all these years. Making everyone you will ever meet and know jealous is totally overrated.
Michael Bay has confirmed on his message board that The Twins, Mudflap and Skids, from Revenge of the Fallen will not be perpetuating racial stereotypes in Transformers 3. In Hollywood that's what we call getting Jar Jar Binx'ed. It's Bay's goal to make the next Transformers installment relatively inoffensive, but take this with a grain of salt as Tyrese and Josh Duhamel still have scenes opposite one another. There's no telling what's next for The Twins. They've got all the right skillz for a dance flick or a rap career, they just need someone to take a chance on them. My instincts say they'll be relegated to the scrap pile though like so many other influential characters of the past.I'm still eagerly awaiting the next Max Headroom project that I fear may never come. (IESB)
I'm only writing about this because I REALLY wanted to put together the above photoshop. Patrick Dempsey and Jamie Kennedy are maybe going to be a part of Transformers 3. Random much? Michael Bay must just be shouting out the names of people he sees on TV now. I'm sure Can't Buy Me Love and Scream were playing back-to-back on some network this past weekend.Depending on where you translate the interview that Dempsey gave to Brazilian website BOH it either says:“I start filming later this month in “Transformers 3″, which I play a character who is far more “dark” than others.”or:"Chicken patty sandwich."Don't ask me, I don't speak Portuguese.Jamie Kennedy told 8KUPD Arizona (he got interviewed by a license plate?) that he “had an interesting interview with the people behind the new Transformers movie and I may have a role in the movie.”More Transformers 3 casting news to come, but I really don't see it getting anymore exciting than this, people. (/Film)
Paramount has picked up the action screenplay Heatseekers for Michael Bay to get his sticky fingers all over, a.k.a. produce, not direct. Bay's company Platinum Dunes signed a first-look deal with Paramount last October to make lower-budget genre pictures, and Heatseekers written by newbie Georgie Mahaffey is the first project to get the Bay mushroom cloud seal of approval.In the mold of "Fast & Furious" and "Point Break," "Heatseekers" follows a young ex-military pilot who infiltrates a gang of aerial "pirates" working out of Bangkok and takes part in an elaborate tower heist using powered gliders and parachutes.Are people just making up professions now? Bank-robber-surfer makes sense, but an aerial pirate? That's something a Kevin James character writes down on a job application to impress a sexy CEO. Then the next thing you know he's ziplining off a building in Bangkok where his ineptitude leads to his success. Too bad an Asian street gang led by Bay has already had their way with James's dream girl while he was up in the air jackin' around. The title HEATSEEKERS! flies at the screen. Roll credits. (THR)