MGM Stretches Budget to ‘The Outer Limits’
Tuesday, August 3 by

WTF, Outer Limits?
MGM doesn't have enough dough to get another Bond film or The Hobbit off the ground, but that doesn't mean they can't revive a 1960s sci-fi series no one cares about. The broke Lion studio has hired Saw 4-7 writers Patrick Melton and Marcus Dunstan to pen a feature take on "The Outer Limits." This means they'll have to come up with a way to scare audiences that doesn't involve an elaborate Rube Goldberg-esque death trap strapped to someone's extremities. Or maybe they won't.
MGM admits that the two writers were paid just weeks ago but insists they were hired well before the studio went into the shitter. If they paid these guys 500k just a few weeks ago where did they come up with the money and why isn't that lion's legs broken yet? I hope he's turning tricks on a street corner in something form-fitting. Tom Sizemore is cruising around Hollywood right now looking for "a different kind" of prostitute. (Variety)

‘Robocop’ Remake Is Officially Dead
Tuesday, July 27 by

I'm sad to report that those of us waiting to see a poignant, arthouse remake of a film about a part robot, part human cop who walks through walls and fights cyber-ninjas are to be left wanting. Darren Aronofsky's long-in-the-works, inexplicable remake of Robocop has officially been scrapped. The collapse of the project was came about for two reasons: MGM's money problems, and Darren Aronofsky's realizing that he is Darren Aronofsky. (Moviehole)

‘Bond 23′ Is Canceled
Tuesday, July 6 by

Our sentiments exactly.Looks like MGM's brokeassedness will cost them a lot more than just The Hobbit. The studio's historic James Bond series is also reportedly out this bitch. Production has halted on the upcoming Sam Mendes-directed Bond 23, and that it may not begin again. In fact, it could be years before we see Bond on the big screen again. Which means we'll have to spend our time mercilessly blowing up our friends with proximity mines. Which gets old after the first few hundred times. From the UK Daily Mirror:Production crew were told in April the £132million blockbuster, starring Daniel Craig, had been postponed amid “financial problems” at debt-ridden movie studio Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer, which co-funded the film.But now it has confirmed the movie has been axed – and it could be years before the secret agent with a licence to kill is back on the big screen.Bond has been MGM's golden ticket for years on end. If they can't scrape together assets to make another blockbuster, it's unlikely they'll weather this storm. Better keep those Daniel Craig popsicles in the freezer for now, lame housewives and weird dudes. They're scary collector's items now.

‘The Hobbit’: Is Ian McKellan Out This Bitch?
Sunday, July 4 by

With every passing day, it becomes increasingly likely that MGM's no money-induced mo' problems will doom The Hobbit to development hell. Now, at the risk of losing Gandalf the Grey, it's time for MGM to take a lush, sprawling, epic sh*t or get off the high fantasy pot. Sidenote: Led Zeppelin would not be half as successful without high fantasy pot.Sir Ian McKellan sat down with New Zealand's Good Morning show to discuss how he may be out this bitch:"Well, I’m not under contract and my time is running out and I’m enjoying working in the theater and frankly, I would like to race after doing 'Waiting For Godot,' get on with doing another play but we’ll have to see. I don’t give the producers the impression that I’m sitting waiting." Yikes. Looks like a decision needs to be made sooner than later. There's plenty of septugenarians willing to wear a robe and yell incoherent words. But Sir Ian McKellan is the one least likely to bite the 1st Assistant Director. (via Bleeding Cool)CHECK OUT SIR IAN'S INTERVIEW AFTER THE JUMP IN CASE YOU DON'T TAKE MY WORD AT FACE VALUE. IF THAT'S SO, WE NEED TO WORK ON US…

Now Peter Jackson Might Not Direct ‘The Hobbit’
Monday, June 28 by

If Peter Jackson has to tell you twice, you're getting a Flair Chop.News broke on Friday that Peter Jackson would in fact slip on his "World's Best Director" apron to take over creamy buttering duties for The Hobbit hot potato. A follow-up today on AICN refutes this claim, pointing out that no one knows who the hell is greasing up this spud.Harry Knowles sat down with his contact "DEREK," who had this to say:The only quote that I’ll attribute to my source, whom I’ll call “DEREK”, when I asked if he was directing, “No, nothing has really changed – I’ve always said that me directing was one option, and so that’s not really news. The studio are working out what that deal would look like, because how else do they know if it’s a viable option? But it’s honestly one of several different options – many irons are in the fire right now. What’s of great concern to everyone right now is trying to stay on schedule and not slip back another year, because we will start losing people – and that’s increasingly difficult as each day passes. A lot of people – both film makers and studios are working very hard right now, trying to get a positive outcome here.”Who is this shrouded man of mystery? What playful game of cat and mouse is the master of deceptions drawing us into?? Call me crazy but I've got a hunch that this "DEREK" is none other than "Jeter Packson." Once we get swab test results, we'll know for sure.

C*ck Tease of the Day: Set Photos from ‘The Hobbit’
Thursday, June 17 by

I know how much you guys love info about movies that may never happen, so here are some photos from the set of The Hobbit. The film has no director, but people are working hard over in New Zealand to build The Shire. Once the project is completely dead they'll abandon the land, leaving prime, unpatroled real estate open for hobbit squaters. They're the worst kind of squaters.More c*ck tease pics after the jump.

Peter Jackson Will Protect ‘The Hobbit’ From Brett Ratner If Necessary
Tuesday, June 15 by

It turns out that along with David Yates (Harry Potter films) and David Dobkin (Fred Claus), Brett Ratner has also been considered to direct The Hobbit. I don't want to tell a studio on the brink of bankruptcy how to run their business, but bitch is you crazy? I thought MGM needed a hit. Is this some kind of Brewster's Millions situation where they need to intentionally lose all their money in order to win a larger fortune?? Does Robocop have something to do with this???? Luckily Peter Jackson won't let that happen.He's gone on record before to say, "If [directing the films is] what I have to do to protect Warner Bros’ investment, then obviously that’s one angle which I’ll explore…The other studios may not let me out of the contracts." Thank you, Peter Jackson. You're the only one preventing us from having to endure Miley Cyrus speaking Elvish. Or worse, singing auto-tuned Elvish. (Deadline)

Guillermo Del Toro Peaces Out of ‘The Hobbit’
Sunday, May 30 by

"What's that I see, MGM? Me droppin' your ass!"Guillermo Del Toro has officially stepped away from directing duties on The Hobbit, a film that for the past two years has really been more of a wish than an actual project. Guillermo made the announcement on The Lord of the Rings fansite TheOneRing.net:“In light of ongoing delays in the setting of a start date for filming “The Hobbit,” I am faced with the hardest decision of my life. After nearly two years of living, breathing and designing a world as rich as Tolkien’s Middle Earth, I must, with great regret, take leave from helming these wonderful pictures."He said he would continue collaborating on the scripts with Peter Jackson, Fran Walsh and Phillippa Boyens. Guillermo decided to leave the project due to the fact that most directors enjoy directing movies and floundering MGM doesn't have the cheddar to make The Hobbit a reality. Sure, they say they'll have the cheddar eventually, but if the company were dealing with a bookie, all of that lion's legs would be broken and his cubs would blindfolded and gagged in a room with leaky pipes. Lesson: don't make promises you can't honor. Now go back to your burgers and hot dogs, readers.   

‘Bond 23′ Delayed Indefinitely
Tuesday, April 20 by

Economic hard times haven't only hurt 85% of everyone you know, forcing them move back with their parents and job hunt to no avail for 14 straight months. No. The deflation has also taken its toll on cocksure British spies who get laid pretty much constantly and introduce themselves in needlessly redundant ways. The cash-strapped MGM has announced that development on Bond 23 has been halted indefinitely.Producers Michael G. Wilson and Barbara Broccoli have issued this statement:Due to the continuing uncertainty surrounding the future of MGM and the failure to close a sale of the studio, we have suspended development on ‘Bond 23′ indefinitely. We do not know when development will resume and do not have a date for the release of ‘Bond 23.’That sucks. I hate it when a film franchise isn't afforded the opportunity to be sequeled into oblivion to the point where the plots and villians all melt together into one homogenized, exploding blur. Stories like this really need to spread their wings, y'know? And has no one taken into consideration the feelings of the poor TBS Superstation? Now they'll likely never get to celebrate '23 Days of Bond' properly. (Coming Soon)

Aronofsky Back on ‘Robocop’, Sam Worthington May Star
Thursday, April 1 by

Last we heard, Darren Aronofsky had decided to walk from the troubled Robocop remake due to his unwillingness to present the film in gimmicky 3D. It appears that he and the cash-strapped MGM have worked something out and he's ready to create the future of law enforcement according to our source. An insider at Digital Dimension has confirmed their company has been conducting visual effects tests and have received a great deal of feedback from Aronofsky. Word is that he "just loves the stuff." Our tipster also made mention that Sam Worthington is very likely to fill the role of Officer Murphy. It's his role to lose from what we've been told. Of course, Worthington's schedule is jam-packed with the adaptations of Dan Dare and The Last Days of American Crime and there's no official word when Robocop will ramp up. Though it is expected that Aronofsky is deciding between that or Serena with hot mom Angelina Jolie as his next project. We'll keep you posted. We realize this news sounds dodgy so to sweeten the pot we have an EXCLUSIVE look at early composite from Digital Dimension AFTER THE JUMP…

‘The Hobbit’ Delayed Yet Again
Monday, March 29 by

Fantasy movie-making BFF's (big fat fatties) Peter Jackson and Guillermo Del Toro have been been delayed further in their attempts to bring The Hobbit to cineplexes. Filming was slated to begin in June but has now been pushed back toward the end of the year. This push will probably jeopardize plans for the film's late 2012 release. TheOneRing.net cites the on-going money troubles over at the co-producing MGM as the reason for the delay and until they pull themselves out of debt, this film will not be receiving a greenlight.Personally I wish they'd hurry the hell up. I'd really like to be able to leave my house but I look ridiculous in this Gandalf costume that I was accidentally stitched into. (The Playlist)