This resembles the first 80 minutes of that dream I keep having.
MGM Announces Ben-Hur Remake, Pleasing Chariotmakers Everywhere
Tuesday, January 15 by

This better feature Gavin DeGraw’s “Chariot.”

File photo.
Michael Keaton Hired To Cheese Off ‘RoboCop’
Thursday, August 30 by

BATMAN VS. ROBOCOP!!!

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Jose Padilha Is Having A Bitch Of A Time Remaking ‘RoboCop’
Tuesday, August 28 by

In all fairness, RoboCop is a very nuanced character.

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Hugh Laurie To Be The Bad Guy In ‘Robocop’ Remake
Wednesday, June 13 by

Will he be able to diagnose Robocop’s medical problem in time to save him?

Yes, yes. But will there be labored sexual puns?
‘Skyfall’ Teaser Trailer Promises A Darker Bond
Monday, May 21 by

He doesn’t seem to enjoy his job as much as he used to.

RoboCop
‘Robocop’ Reboot Release Reiterated
Saturday, March 10 by

Be sure not to schedule any TRON-themed parties for that weekend.

If you want to see the real pic for some reason, click here.
This Week In PR Bullsh*t: The First Official ‘Skyfall’ Still
Wednesday, February 1 by

I wrote this while on the toilet, so it wasn’t a total waste of time.

"All that hate's gonna burn you up, son." "Keeps me warm."
WOLVERINES!!! ‘Red Dawn’ Remake To Be Released Next Year
Monday, September 26 by

It turns out that the studios didn’t want to offend China, lest they decide to boycott bootlegging the film.

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MGM Animates Punk Rock Farm Animals To Amuse Families
Wednesday, June 8 by

They’re adapting the children’s book ‘Punk Farm’ into a CG film. Will the soundtrack include “Baconkrieg Bop?”

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Ryan Gosling Is Too Busy For ‘Idolmaker’-ing
Thursday, June 2 by

Gosling is backing away from ‘The Idolmaker’. My sources have confirmed that the spirit rock and roll music has officially died in Gosling’s heart.

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23rd James Bond Movie Gets Date, A Release Date
Thursday, June 2 by

James Bond will return in: Fall, 2012.

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Hailee Steinfeld Top Choice To Get Blood-Dumped In ‘Carrie’?
Wednesday, June 1 by

Rumors say the producers of the Stephen King adaptation have put Hailee Steinfeld (‘True Grit’) at the top of their casting wish list. If she takes the part, she’ll get a $10 horse.

Megan Fox
Megan Fox Wants To Star In ‘Carrie’? Um, Really?
Tuesday, May 24 by

Two words: ‘Jennifer’s Body’. *Shudder*

Carrie's A Little Upset
MGM, Screen Gems Toss ‘Carrie’ Into The Reboot Machine
Thursday, May 19 by

Roberto Aguirre-Sacasa (the new ‘Spider-Man: Turn Off The Dark’) will write the remake you’re gonna ask to prom.

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MGM Makes Sony Its ‘Bond’ Bitch Once Again
Wednesday, April 13 by

Sony is a very attractive distribution partner for MGM and clearly “wants it.” The James Bond distribution rights, that is.

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MGM Wants Tom Cruise Or Keanu Reeves’ Chin For ‘Robocop’ Reboot
Tuesday, April 12 by

Could someone like Keanu Reeves be convincing as an emotionless robot?

himself
Chinese Bad Guys In ‘Red Dawn’ Changed To North Koreans For Maximum Profitability
Wednesday, March 16 by

MGM doesn’t care about North Koreans.

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‘Robocop’ Reboot Hires Non-Cyborg Writer Josh Zetumer
Thursday, March 10 by

Like Robocop’s one-man mission to eliminate crime in Detroit, relatively unknown writer Josh Zetumer has also been given a gargantuan task: write a new version of the it’s-exactly-perfect-as-it-is film ‘Robocop’.

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If Sony Helps Sad Old MGM, We Get ‘Red Dawn’, ‘Cabin In The Woods’
Tuesday, February 8 by

Luckily, there’s a deal in the works that will save these films from a fate worse than a Commie invasion: sitting on the shelf for even longer than they already have.

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Javier Bardem Almost As Busy As James Franco
Monday, January 31 by

Prepare yourselves to see Javier Bardem with a really cool scar or a cat on his lap or something. The ‘Biutiful’ Oscar nominee has been offered a role opposite Daniel Craig in ‘Bond 23.’

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‘Hobbit’ Delayed For The Nine-Hundredth Time
Thursday, January 27 by

Looks like Peter Jackson won’t be Hobbiting just yet. Production on the Lord Of The Rings prequel has been delayed due to Jackson’s stomach trying to kill him.

Screen shot 2011-01-11 at 12.42.58 PM
Ready or Not, Here Comes ‘Bond 23′
Tuesday, January 11 by

The on-again, off-again 23rd installment of the James Bond series is officially on with Sam Mendes directing.

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Johnny Knoxville, Andy Samberg Close To Landing ‘Three Stooges’
Thursday, January 6 by

The pair, along with Australian comic Shane Jacobson, would play Larry, Curly and Moe, characters that were previously tied to Benicio del Toro, Sean Penn and Jim Carrey.

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Another Case of ‘Bond 23′ Blue Balls
Wednesday, January 5 by

Turns out Kate Winslet is a huge Bond tease. Sorry you got all aroused, but this project isn’t ready to be touched.

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Broke-Ass MGM Would Really Like ‘Bond 23′ In Theaters November 23, 2012
Thursday, November 4 by

MGM recently filed for bankruptcy, and you know what that means. It’s time for them to make movies! Don’t ask me how the government works because I cannot enlighten you. The Hobbit is finally scheduled to begin filming in February, and now it looks like MGM’s other huge franchise, the James Bond series, is picking up steam maybe but who the hell knows for sure.

MGM Pulls a GM, Files For Bankruptcy
Thursday, November 4 by

Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer, the iconic movie studio responsible for the James Bond franchise as well as Van Wilder 2: The Rise of Taj, has filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy. The company, which was pressured into filing by investor Carl Icahn, is seeking a 30-day reorganization period in which to pay its creditors.

As part of the reorganization, Spyglass Entertainment will take over management of MGM. Also, company mascot, Leo the Lion, will be euthanized as a cost-cutting measure, and his meat will be sold to the Chinese, who consider lion flesh to be an aphrodisiac. (Vulture)

‘The Hobbit’ Cast: Peter Jackson Confirms Martin Freeman, Ian McKellan and Andy Serkis Announcement Expected
Friday, October 22 by

It's good to know that some forward momentum is being made on The Hobbit despite the labor disputes that are tripping up the film's location. The first round of casting has been announced and you're going to be psyched. But only if you're knowledgeable about British television. Here's who we got so far:
Martin Freeman (UK "The Office") as Bilbo Baggins
Richard Armitage ("Spooks") as Thorin Oakenshield, Dwarf leader
Aidan Turner ("Being Human") as Kili
Rob Kazinsky ("EastEnders") as Fili
Graham McTavish (Secretariat) as Dwalin
John Callen ("Power Rangers Jungle Fury") as Oin
Stephen Hunter ("All Saints") as Bombur
Mark Hadlow (King Kong) as Dori
Peter Hambleton ("The Strip") as Gloin
 
Ian McKellan and Andy Serkis have not been confirmed to return, but that announcement is expected. Stephen Fry, Saoirse Ronan, Bill Nighy, James Nesbitt, and David Tennant are all also rumored to be up for parts. But I think the biggest news to come out of this is that there's a show called "Power Rangers Jungle Fury" and it actually lead to someone getting more work. (Deadline)

Peter Jackson Officially Directing The Crap Out Of ‘The Hobbit’
Friday, October 15 by

Clever girl.
Peter Jackson has finalized his deal to return to the Shire. The Lord Of The Rings helmer is locked and loaded and ready to direct the living crap out of The Hobbit. New Line Cinema and MGM managed to come to a deal. My bet is the cash-strapped MGM will have to do New Line's laundry for an entire year. Either that or something having to do with percentage points.
However, this wouldn't be The Hobbit if there weren't concerns over additional delays. The project has overcome bankruptcy and a fire, but is now only curtailed by a union dispute in New Zealand. If this cannot be resolved for the planned February start date, the production will have to move elsewhere. Which will cause more delays and drive up the already high budget. Which means MGM will be folding undies for a long time to come. (NY Times)

Studios Begging Martin Freeman To Do ‘The Hobbit’
Wednesday, September 8 by

You want Bilbo Baggins, Freeman wants a Kit-Kat.
People are talking about The Hobbit again. Yesterday, The Sun reported that New Line and MGM were doing everything short of offering up hookers to land Martin Freeman (The British "The Office") for the role of Bilbo Baggins. We obviously dismissed it because The Sun has as much clout as Highlights Magazine, but now Entertainment Weekly is reporting that the rumors are true. TRUE!
It was at first thought that Freeman declined the offer to star in the inevitable blockbuster due to his committment to the BBC series "Sherlock." Well someone must have screamed some sense in his face because the studios are now working out a deal that would allow him to appear in both projects. If they land the actor, all they'll need to worry about next is money and a director. Those kind of major factors usually fall into place last minute though. Take it from MGM, the studio without a bush to piss in or a lion's den to throw it out of.   

Peter Jackson Enlists in WWI Film
Thursday, August 26 by

While Peter Jackson is confident that the legal squabble between Warner Bros. and MGM over The Hobbit will be resolved "sometime soon," the Lord of the Rings prequel may not be his primary concern.
During an interview with New Zealand's Dominion Post, the acclaimed director discussed plans for his long-awaited ANZAC project, which would depict the exploits of the Australian and New Zealand Army Corps during World War I. Jackson hopes to complete the project before the 100th anniversary of the disastrous Battle of Gallipoli in 2015.
"It was doomed because while the Australians charged the Nek from below, the New Zealanders, who were supposed to simultaneously attack from above, didn't show up. But that's another story, and one I'd love to make as the 100th anniversary gets closer."
While the 100th anniversary of the Battle of Gallipoli is an important milestone, let's not forget that the eleventy-billionth anniversary of the Battle of the Pelennor Fields is also approaching. Allowing The Hobbit to languish in legal limbo spits on the memory of all those who gave their lives fighting Sauron and his evil minions. Shame on you, Peter Jackson. (Empire Online)