“America‘s favorite grouch-in-chief” passed away this weekend after complications from a minor surgery. Why do they call it a “minor” surgery if it involves complications? You would think that a minor procedure would be worry free, not something that leads to death. Or perhaps it’s called that because the surgery is performed by a minor. Doubtful. Young people today are too busy dragging their baggy clothes down the street, rather than take the time to learn the medical trade and the human body. I bet that you couldn’t find a teenager that could point to their own Iliac’s Crest. Back in my day, all the doctors had gone off to war, so we had to depend on teenagers for our medical well-being. At least then we could trust that they would wash their hands first. Do you know what I hate? Soap in a pump bottle. The stem that is supposed to carry the soap to your dirty hand doesn’t reach to the bottom of the bottle. That deprives the consumer of hard-earned soap. I’ll take a palm full of soap chips over that any day of the week. The days of the week make me angry. Wednesday is commonly referred to as “Hump Day,” which means it is the most difficult day in the week. Once you get passed it, everything else is better by comparison. But what if your work week ends on a Wednesday? Then your final day is the most difficult and stressful. And what if your only day off happens to fall on a Wednesday. Or the holidays? Christmas with family can be stressful enough. I just don’t know. Sounds complicated.

Today beginning at 9:30 a.m. PST, 12:30 p.m. EST Hulu will live stream Michael Jackson’s Memorial Service. Stevie Wonder, Al Sharpton, Brooke Shields, Smokey Robinson, Berry Gordy, Kobe Bryant, Magic Johnson, and John Mayer amongst others will be appearing as eulogizers. I only hope that Mayer knows this is the wrong venue to try out his stand-up material. [via The Business Insider]