Screen Junkies » meg ryan http://www.screenjunkies.com Movie Reviews & TV Show Reviews Fri, 05 Dec 2014 19:25:26 +0000 en hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 Meg Ryan Will Be The Grown Up Mother In ‘How I Met Your Father’ http://www.screenjunkies.com/tv/tv-news/meg-ryan-will-be-the-grown-up-mother-in-how-i-met-your-father/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/tv/tv-news/meg-ryan-will-be-the-grown-up-mother-in-how-i-met-your-father/#comments Wed, 23 Apr 2014 22:50:57 +0000 Penn Collins http://www.screenjunkies.com/?p=261216 Okayyyyyyyyyyy...

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Meg Ryan, who I’ve always considered the female John Stamos, will be playing the female version of Bob Saget’s future father in How I Met Your Father, the spinoff of How I Met Your Mother.

She will play the future, unseen incarnation of Greta Gerwig, the show’s female Ted. Whether or not Greta Gerwig will spend the first two seasons of the show bitching about how she can’t find a husband the same way Ted did about a wife is currently unclear, but probably.

So, that’s that. Meg Ryan will be the voice of the mother, destined to capture audiences with a tale of love, only to piss them off with a finale that stabs all the loyal viewers in the heart.

It should be pretty cool.

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Meg Ryan Will Save NBC http://www.screenjunkies.com/tv/tv-news/meg-ryan-will-save-nbc/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/tv/tv-news/meg-ryan-will-save-nbc/#comments Mon, 14 Oct 2013 15:00:45 +0000 Penn Collins http://www.screenjunkies.com/?p=257524 I'm really looking forward to avoiding this program.

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I’ve found the perfect analogy here, so don’t you dare stop reading now. If the world of network television can be compared to the competitive environment of bookstores in the cinematic tour de force You’ve Got Mail, then NBC is the mom-and-pop book store, and the rest of the TV landscape would be Fox Books.

But rather than have Meg Ryan seduce and make love to the rest of the networks in order to garner some leniency (which I’m sure NBC nor Ryan have ruled out), the Peacock will just toss her in a sitcom. Undoubtedly, the pitch went something like this:

NBC Exec One: Our network sucks. We need a great idea to fix it, and one that isn’t Knight Rider, the Munsters, or some gritty reboot of some bullshit fairy tale story.

(Deafening, uncomfortable silence from the table)

NBC Exec Two: Meg…Ryan?

NBC Exec One: Perfect! HALF DAY!

Ryan will be playing a non-confrontational, single mom (oh fuck me, really?) who returns to a publishing company that she used to run, only to find herself working for a thirty year old.

If you can find ways to make this concept more trite, please send your suggestions to NBC Studios, c/o Anthrax Receivables.

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In Honor of Carrie Fisher’s Weight Loss: Proof That God Loves Actors and Hates Actresses http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/proof-that-god-loves-actors-and-hates-actresses/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/proof-that-god-loves-actors-and-hates-actresses/#comments Wed, 24 Aug 2011 20:34:43 +0000 Jame Gumb http://www.screenjunkies.com/?p=14148 The proof is all around us, if we know where to look. I looked in the tabloids, and found all the proof I needed.

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Earlier this year, Carrie Fisher inspired me to write a horribly sexist post about actresses who have aged less than gracefully. Judging by her recent weight loss, I’m guessing my article inspired her to go on a diet. What else would explain her total transformation (she lost 50 lbs. on Jenny Craig)? At any rate, I’m happy my poorly written drivel was able to help. And in case you missed it the first time around, here’s the article that started it all. Congrats to Carrie Fisher…

I hate making fun of people based on their appearances. Considering I look a lot like Steve Buscemi crossed with Nosferatu, who am I to sit and criticize others for the way they look? But unfortunately, people lap this shit up like Brett Ratner laps up Boone’s Farm strawberry wine, and I’m a hack, so here we are.

At any rate, god hates actresses and loves actors. The proof is all around us, if we know where to look. I looked in the tabloids, and found all the proof I needed. Here are seven examples of famous on-screen couples. In almost every case, the actor involved looks older, but more distinguished, while time has ravaged the once ridiculously hot leading lady. I know it’s not fair, but I didn’t make the rules. You got a problem, talk to the big man upstairs. Until then, take a look and see for yourself.

Tom Cruise and Kelly Mcgillis – Top Gun
In all fairness to Kelly, she was older than Tom when they filmed Top Gun. Also, she’s now openly gay, so she doesn’t have a lot of incentive to conform to my jaded standards of feminine beauty. But Cruise still looks like he could be her son (provided she had him when she was 13). Maybe there’s something to this whole Scientology thing after all. Oh wait, there is: money!

Warren Beatty and MadonnaDick Tracy
It’s been over 20 years since Dick Tracy revolutionized the way people are disappointed by comic adaptations. How has time treated the stars of the film? Warren Beatty still looks like Warren Beatty. Madonna looks like Skeletor with Chlamydia. Keep working that sexy angle, Madge.

Ted Danson and Kristie Alley – “Cheers
Ted Danson looks older, but he carries it well. Hell, I’d still bang him…if I was gay…or if the price was right. But Kristie, on the other hand, isn’t looking so hot. If your attempt at a reality-show has the word “fat” in the title, it’s time to hit the gym.

Dennis Quaid and Meg Ryan – Innerspace
Here’s an old pic of Dennis Quaid and Meg Ryan looking less than thrilled. But here’s a more recent picture of the couple looking happier than ever. Is it just me, or does Meg look great. Oh wait, that’s not Meg at all. She cheated on him with Russell Crowe, so Quaid dumped her for someone half her age.

Here’s a recent picture of Meg looking sexy. Still got it.

Rob Reiner and Sally Struthers – “All in the Family”
This is a tough one. Rob and Sally both got fat. But Sally got fat while devoting her time to charity, and Rob got fat while making crappy films and passing laws that make it illegal for me to smoke in a bar. Up yours, Rob. Sally wins!

Jessica Simpson and Johnny KnoxvilleThe Dukes of Hazzard
In most cases, time’s assault is gradual, and a woman’s beauty slips away over decades. But sometimes, if a woman eats enough McGriddles, it happens almost overnight. That’s what happened to Jessica Simpson. As for Johnny Knoxville, he still looks like the same jackass.

Harrison Ford and Carrie Fisher – Star Wars
This list idea was born when I watched Carrie Fisher’s HBO special, “Wishful Drinking.” As Fisher herself points out, it’s not really fair that the image of her younger self wearing a golden bikini is tattooed into the minds of most men under the age of 40. It’s also not fair that Harrison Ford looks relatively the same, except the creepy scarf and earring make him look like a gay-80′s pop singer. But tough titty. That’s life. If Fisher was a normal woman on the street, I wouldn’t think anything of it. But she’s not. She’s Princess Leia, or at least she was. To quote Holy Taco, now she looks like “Salvador Dali’s take on Sally Jesse Raphael.

This article was originally posted on January 4th, 2011. It was modified on August 24th, 2011.

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Meg Ryan Hopefully More Tolerable Behind The Camera http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/meg-ryan-hopefully-more-tolerable-behind-the-camera/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/meg-ryan-hopefully-more-tolerable-behind-the-camera/#comments Wed, 06 Apr 2011 06:30:21 +0000 Geoffrey Golden http://www.screenjunkies.com/?p=205574 Ryan's gonna try being a grown-woman who acts like a 15-year-old trying to be cute *behind the camera* with 'Into The Beautiful'.

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You know how when you’re sick, it can be like torture, but when you get better again, you quickly forget about how you were ever sick? That’s kind of like Meg Ryan. When she’s starring in a lot of terrible rom-coms that your girlfriend drags you to, it’s torture. However, Ryan’s recent films haven’t even registered on my radar, and I kind of forgot she was a thing. Until now.

Looks like Ryan’s gonna try being a grown-woman who acts like a 15-year-0ld trying to be cute behind the camera. She will helm Into The Beautiful (into the beautiful what?), one of those movies like The Big Chill where a bunch of friends reconnect after many years apart. It’ll be part comedy, part drama, and 100% shot in Ryan’s pattented Aborable-Vision.

Into The Beautiful was written by Anne Meredith (Cavedweller) and will be produced by Wendy Finerman (Th Devil Wears Prada). (Variety)

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50 Cent and John Lithgow to Finally Work Together In ‘Lives of the Saints’ http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/50-cent-and-john-lithgow-to-finally-work-together-in-lives-of-the-saints/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/50-cent-and-john-lithgow-to-finally-work-together-in-lives-of-the-saints/#comments Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000 We're finally going to get the chance to see master thespians John Lithgow and Curtis "50 Cent" Jackson engage in some on-screen tete-a-tete. The two actors have joined Lives of the Saints, along with Meg Ryan, Kat Dennings, and Joe Anderson. The film "tells the intertwining stories of a group of Angelenos seeking redemption for past mistakes, only to find that forgiveness comes from unlikely places." They were originally considering the title Crash 2 but quickly realized it would be better to trick the audience into thinking this was a totally different concept. My fingers are crossed for a more Cliffhanger Lithgow than a Harry and the Hendersons Lithgow. He won't stand a chance against Fity without his infamous furrowing of the brow. That move stops hearts beating. (Variety)

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We’re finally going to get the chance to see master thespians John Lithgow and Curtis "50 Cent" Jackson engage in some on-screen tete-a-tete. The two actors have joined Lives of the Saints, along with Meg Ryan, Kat Dennings, and Joe Anderson. The film "tells the intertwining stories of a group of Angelenos seeking redemption for past mistakes, only to find that forgiveness comes from unlikely places."

They were originally considering the title Crash 2 but quickly realized it would be better to trick the audience into thinking this was a totally different concept. My fingers are crossed for a more Cliffhanger Lithgow than a Harry and the Hendersons Lithgow. He won’t stand a chance against Fity without his infamous furrowing of the brow. That move stops hearts beating. (Variety)

 

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