Best Motion Picture – Drama – The Descendants

Best Motion Picture – Musical or Comedy – The Artist

Best Performance by an Actor in a Motion Picture – Drama – George Clooney for The Descendants

Best Performance by an Actress in a Motion Picture – Drama – Meryl Streep for The Iron Lady

Best Performance by an Actor in a Motion Picture – Musical or Comedy – Jean Dujardin for The Artist

Best Performance by an Actress in a Motion Picture – Musical or Comedy -Miche lle Williams for My Week with Marilyn

Best Performance by an Actor in a Supporting Role in a Motion Picture – Christopher Plummer for Beginners

Best Performance by an Actress in a Supporting Role in a Motion Picture – Octavia Spencer for The Help

Best Director – Motion Picture – Martin Scorsese for Hugo

Best Animated Film – The Adventures of Tintin

Best Television Series – Drama – Homeland

Best Television Series – Musical or Comedy – Modern Family

Best Mini-Series or Motion Picture Made for Television – Downton Abbey

Best Performance by an Actor in a Television Series – Drama – Kelsey Grammer for Boss

Best Performance by an Actress in a Television Series – Drama – Claire Danes for Homeland

Best Performance by an Actor in a Television Series – Musical or Comedy – Matt LeBlanc for Episodes

Best Performance by an Actress in a Television Series – Musical or Comedy – Laura Dern for Enlightened

Best Performance by an Actor in a Mini-Series or a Motion Picture Made for Television – Idris Elba for Luther

Best Performance by an Actress in a Mini-Series or a Motion Picture Made for Television – Kate Winslet for Mildred Pierce

Best Performance by an Actor in a Supporting Role in a Series, Mini-Series or Motion Picture Made for Television – Peter Dinklage for Game of Thrones

Best Performance by an Actress in a Supporting Role in a Series, Mini-Series or Motion Picture Made for Television – Jessica Lange for American Horror Story

Whew, done. Now for some in-depth commentary: Matt LeBlanc!?

Showtime sent out the first seven episodes of their new comedy “Episodes,” which is the entire first season. It certainly gets better once you get past the plodding set-up, but never good enough to add to your DVR queue.

The big teaser is an angry Sean (Stephen Mangan) and Beverly Lincoln (Tamsin Greig) arguing about “wanking,” as the Brits call it, and complaining about the voice of their home security system. Matt LeBlanc’s voice activated dialer calls mom instead of Bob. Groan. That’s LeBlanc’s only appearance in the pilot too. It takes a whole episode to get to him.

The real show begins seven weeks earlier. The Lincolns win a BAFTA for their show “Lyman’s Boys.” Their banter with the American producer Merc Lapides (John Pankow) is full of attempts to make witty the exposition about remaking the show in Hollywood. Sexual metaphors alone are not wit, and it’s not a British thing.

This will be a show about the culture shock of British producers in Hollywood, and the laughable attempts of Hollywood to meddle in great art. The humor is all the same kind of lame though.

When the Lincolns try to get into their American house, the security guard pulls a really lazy act about not having the Lincolns on the list and no knowing who they are. If you think that’s funny, you’ll love it when they repeat it every time the Lincolns enter the gate.

When they get inside, Beverly enjoys the security voice. That’s ironic because we saw that later she’s annoyed with it. I would think it’s funny that the Lincolns wait forever for their lavish new bath to fill with water, but the show had already exhausted my good will by then.

For insightful industry laughs, head of comedy Myra Licht (Daisy Haggard) is actually a humorless bore. How could that person ever be in charge of comedy? No wonder Hollywood makes bad shows. That explains everything.

It turns out Merc hadn’t actually seen the show, so now he wants to recast the American version. Promises are not guaranteed, executives won’t watch the properties they’ve optioned, yes men support stupid ideas, Americans make British stereotypes like “’allo gov’na.” By the second episode, we also learn that executives are selfish, insensitive to the blind and slurp food during table reads. Also, even assistants watch their weight and the Lincolns don’t know who Eliza Dushku is.

LeBlanc has a good time playing the D-bag version of himself. The delight he takes in texting profanity and laughing at Tourettes is real comedy. The “Matt LeBlanc Acts Like a Douche” show would be great. Everything else David Crane and Jeffrey Klarik wrote around that is not funny.

“Episodes” premieres Sunday, January 9th at 9:30PM EST on Showtime.

In the above clip, Matt LeBlanc has to swallow his pride and audition to play himself in the new Showtime sitcom Episodes. As if the task wasn’t degrading enough, he shuffles in to a waiting room full of Joey look-a-likes who all want to land the same role. It’s reasons like this why LeBlanc is going grey. 

Episodes is about a successful British husband-and-wife comedy team who are lured by Hollywood to produce a new version of their hit series for a stateside audience. But they soon realize wha the American execs have in store for their precious show – including replacing the erudite British lead with Matt LeBlanc.

Check out today’s imported links.

_{Conan O’Brien’s Next Job (HolyTaco)}

_{Amanda Seyfriend and Julianne Moore Make Out (Moviefone)}

_{School Pride + 9/11 = Fail (TotalProSports)}

_{10 Best Animated Gifs of the Week (TheChive)}

_{Maxim.com’s Hottest Blonds (Maxim)}

_{Japan Has Space Battleships Too! (FilmDrunk)}

_{25 Great Moments in Brutal Honesty (Manofest)}

_{Spider-Man Reboots We’ll Never See (Pajiba)}

_{Jay Leno to Bang Conan’s Wife (CelebJihad)}

_{10 TV Actors Who Need a Big Movi Break (Unreality)}

_{Prepare Your Eyes for the Upcoming 3D Onslaught (Asylum)}

_{FPS Gaming from a Female’s POV (RegretfulMorning)}

_{How Your Girlfriend Ruined You (MadeMan)}

_{Racing Expos Connect Fans with NASCAR (AllLeftTurns)}

_{Dude Gets Mashed Up by Security in Lobby (NothingToxic)}

_{Check in with Doctor (Atom)}

Creators: David Crane & Jeffrey Klarik

Cast: Matt LeBlanc

Synopsis: A single-camera comedy series about a successful British husband-and-wife comedy team who are lured by Hollywood to produce a new version of their hit series for a stateside audience. But they soon realize wha the American execs have in store for their precious show – including replacing the erudite British lead with the quintessential comedy star, Matt LeBlanc.