Well, pretty much anyone can portray Frankenstein. I could get a Golden Globe nod for my performance if the director just gave me three Xanax, a 1″ lift in my right shoe, and a burn on the roof of my mouth with a Bagel Bite just out of the oven. So with the playing field being equal, it comes down to looks.

“What has two thumbs and sort of looks like Frankenstein? These guys!”

Truthfully, though, I wouldn’t be surprised if Trejo was missing a thumb.

9. Matt Dillon

He may be in a tie with #8 for the best-looking guy on this list, but still Frankenstein-esque. He also speaks with a deep enough voice that when I’m watching Wild Things while writing (which is most days), I sometimes get startled and need to look up to reassure myself that Denise Richards and Neve Campbell aren’t having a threeway with Frankenstein, because that would just drive me up the wall with sexiness.

8. David Boreanz

Photo generously on loan from the Penn Collins private collection.

Bones could be Frankenstein. I’m aware that Bones is actually the girl on the show of the same name, but it’s just easier for me if I call everyone on that show Bones, as it prevents me from having to learn anything about the show Bones.

7. Danny Trejo

Danny Trejo looks like he has been stitched together a la Frankenstein, complete with baseball glove-type skin. I don’t think Frankenstein had a tattoo on his chest, but the news of Levy’s attachment doesn’t say when the film is set. 2011 Frankenstein in Williamsburg, Brooklyn could totally have a chest tattoo.

“Frankenstein need pick up American Spirits before Frankenstein go ironic barbecue.”

Elmore Leonard works always have the eye of filmmakers, and no less than Quentin Tarantino wanted to get his hands on this particular one, though he couldn’t quite work out the timeline in the book. Originally, the book took place in the late-80′s after they had been in the game for a while. Naturally, this meant that the work leant itself to an older ensemble cast, which audiences have viewed as gimmicky with works such as Space Cowboys and Red.

Well, a tweak here and a date change their gives us a younger, funny cast that gets to work with Leonard’s killer source material. Couple that with the fact that stodgy movie critics will be forced to utter “freaky deaky,” and everything seems to be coming up roses from this project.

The film, scripted by playwright (and Lakeview Terrace director!!) Neil Labute and directed by Mike Figgis, concerns the lives of several people who interconnect over a series of vignettes. Hendricks will play a woman who catches her husband, played by Brendan Fraser, in a compromising position. Julia Stiles, Matt Dillon, and Kristen Scott Thomas will also star. If you’re looking for a twist that will make this different than everyone other indie movie about separate lives connecting BESIDES the fact that it will star Encino Man, how’s about THIS doozy: The whole thing takes take place on an airplane!! Roger, Roger, what’s our vector, Victor INDEED. (Deadline)

Director: Nimród Antal

Cast: Matt Dillon, Laurence Fishburne, Jean Reno, Columbus Short, Skeet Ulrich

Synopsis: A newbie guard for at armored truck company is coerced by his veteran coworkers to steal a truck containing $42 million. But a wrinkle in their supposedly foolproof plan divides the group, leading to a potentially deadly resolution.

Genre: Thriller

Release Date: September 18, 2009