Screen Junkies » Macaulay Culkin

The 6 Weirdest Christmas Movies I Watched Last Weekend

Wookie Johnson — Tue, 27 Dec 2011 15:12:46 +0000

Christmas has provided filmmakers with lots of inspiration over the years. We have our classic Christmas specials and films like It’s A Wonderful Life, and our terrible attempts like Christmas With The Kranks. But there’s another type of Christmas movie out there; films that are just too weird to be bad. They may fall short of genius, but there is a sublime quality to them, a certain something that just needs to be witnessed. Preferably while tanked.

Well, over the last four days, I did some heavy research on the subject, and came up with the following six films.

The Magic Christmas Tree

As you may have gleaned from the title, the family motion picture The Magic Christmas Tree is about a Christmas tree that talks. And since no Christmas family motion picture would be complete without a happy witch, greedy giant, or runaway lawnmower, they have those too. It also features a thrilling scene where Santa Claus is captured. You’ll want to see that!

Elves

It’s really your classic holiday tale. A girl discovers she’s the focus of an evil Nazi experiment that involves wicked elves and the selective breeding of a race of super-soldiers. One thing leads to another, and she and her friends are locked in the mall with a killer elf. Only Dan Haggerty’s disgraced alcoholic detective turned Mall Santa can put the pieces together and save the day.

You Can Buy The ‘Home Alone’ House

Wookie Johnson — Thu, 05 May 2011 16:05:55 +0000

The house where a young boy was neglected by his parents and nearly murdered by home invaders is now on the market. The Home Alone house is a stately red-brick Georgian dramatically situated on a beautifully landscaped half-acre lot on Chicago‘s North Shore, and it could be yours for 2.4 million dollars. If you consider all that this wonderful property has to offer, that really is a bargain.

The grand entryway invites you into a home of comfort and luxury, and it’s perfect for smashing paint-cans into Daniel Stern’s face. And you can create your own memories in the legendary living room, like shooting Joe Pesci in the groin with a BB gun.

Of course, these pros are balanced by some potential cons. A few booby traps do still remain, so please proceed with caution. Also, the creepy old neighbor will stop by periodically looking for his son. Make no sudden movements and greet him with warmth, and it’s unlikely he will hit you with his shovel.

This information should not detract you from owning this charming property. Wouldn’t you enjoy the opportunity to hang a plaque on your house that reads: ‘Macauley Culkin Shaved Here’? Contact Coldwell Banker if interested. (Buzzfeed)

Mila Kunis Back On the Market

Col. Longshanks — Mon, 03 Jan 2011 19:25:28 +0000

Good news, boys. Macaulay Culkin‘s sloppy seconds are up for grabs if you’re hungry. Mila Kunis and the top breadwinner of the Culkin clan have officially called it quits. Rumor is the couple has actually been broken up for a few months now, but kept it under wraps so as not to ruin Kunis’s chance at some Black Swan recognition in the form of gold statues.

Looks like Mila’s rep let the news slip a little early. The Oscar nominations haven’t even been announced yet. Will the Academy look past this split and still honor Kunis for her fine work in Black Swan. We’ll all find out the same time as Macaulay, who’s sure to be watching the broadcast home alone. Zing! (Vulture)

Macauley Culkin Fights Monsters In ‘I Am Home Alone’

Wookie Johnson — Thu, 23 Dec 2010 20:06:58 +0000

The holiday spirit has been lacking a bit around here but we’ve got a video here to help us recapture it. Not many know about this but the film we know as Home Alone was originally filmed to be an action thriller with strong horror elements. After it tested poorly, the studio demanded it re-cut as lighthearted family fare. The results broke box office records, so way to go studio.

Luckily, Jeff Schmalz was able to unearth an earlier cut of the film. The one where Macauley Culkin stars as the last boy on Earth and fights off those vampires or zombies or whatever you want to call them. Without further ado, I Am Home Alone. (via Topless Robot)