Screen Junkies » Love Actually http://www.screenjunkies.com Movie Reviews & TV Show Reviews Sun, 14 Sep 2014 20:59:28 +0000 en hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 The ‘What To Expect When You’re Expecting’ Trailer Might Not Be Targeted Towards Men http://www.screenjunkies.com/video/the-what-to-expect-when-youre-expecting-trailer-might-not-be-targeted-towards-men/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/video/the-what-to-expect-when-youre-expecting-trailer-might-not-be-targeted-towards-men/#comments Sat, 10 Dec 2011 00:05:56 +0000 Penn Collins http://www.screenjunkies.com/?post_type=video&p=239349 I feel like I just gave birth by watching this trailer.

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ARRGH! I’VE NEVER IN MY LIFE WATCHED A TRAILER SO CLEARLY NOT INTENDED FOR MY DEMOGRAPHIC!

I can’t find humor to bridge the gap between me, a 31 year-old male film blogger, and this film. There’s no connection here. It’s not like they even created this movie for women. It’s like they created it with the expressed purpose of ensuring that no man, not a one, would pay to see it.

Here’s how I saw the pitch meeting going:

Exec #1: Well, the source material, the book What to Expect When You’re Expecting will really resonate with women in their child bearing years, and probably older women who look back upon their pregnancies with fondness. But what about men aged 18-49?

Exec #2: FUCK MEN AGED 18-49!

Exec #1: Yes, of course.

From the simpletons who (probably) brought you I Don’t Know How She Does It comes this film, an examination of female paradigms who:

  • Dance with the stars
  • Get hormonal
  • Enjoy their larger breasts
  • Adopt African babies (OMG! So cute!)

And the shithead men that apparently can’t find their dicks with both hands.

Further lending credence to the theory that if you can’t tell one compelling story in a film, use an ensemble to tell six and the women will get confused and default to empty smiles.

See also:

  • Love Actually 
  • Valentine’s Day
  • New Year’s Eve
  • He’s Just Not That Into You

That’s all for now.

Oh, before I forget, Chris Rock, Thomas Lennon, Rob Huebel? Can you guys hang back? I would like to have a word with you.

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9 Romantic Comedies That Are Crazy Stupid http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-lists/9-romantic-comedies-that-are-crazy-stupid/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-lists/9-romantic-comedies-that-are-crazy-stupid/#comments Thu, 28 Jul 2011 22:08:36 +0000 Jame Gumb http://www.screenjunkies.com/?p=222479 Love can be stupid, but not as stupid as these films.

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Crazy, Stupid, Love. is billing itself as that rare breed of romantic comedy that doesn’t suck six ways from Sunday. While the final verdict is still out, early reviews (including that of our own Fred Topel) seem to support the claim. So in honor of the release of Crazy, Stupid, Love., which hopefully isn’t awful, here are nine romantic comedies that are just crazy stupid.

Just Like Heaven (2005)

I watched this film while on a cruise with a girl who had come down with seasickness. As it turns out, the sound of her violently retching was the perfect background to this Reese Witherspoon turd. It has the same plot as the Bill Cosby bomb Ghost Dad, with about half of the laughs. Considering I laughed exactly once at Ghost Dad, that doesn’t say much for Just Like Heaven.

The Beautician and the Beast (1997)

When a sassy beautician travels to a far away county to work for a ruthless dictator, only one thing can happen: genital electrocution followed by a swift beheading. At least that’s what would happen in real life. In Hollywood, the two fall in love. Poor Fran Drescher. She could never step out from the shadow of her most memorable role: the reporter chick in UHF.

Alex & Emma (2003)

Rob Reiner is a huge anti-smoking advocate, yet he has no problem unleashing pollution like Alex & Emma onto the unsuspecting public. The film involves an author (Luke Wilson), a stenographer (Kate Hudson), and the Cuban Mafia. If that doesn’t excite you, it’s also worth noting that Kate Hudson plays three different roles, each with its own wacky accent. Sigh.

Something’s Gotta Give (2003)

In Something’s Gotta Give, Keanu Reeves‘s character falls in love with a woman played by Diane Keaton. Yeah, you read that right. I don’t care what Sex in the City says, there’s not a snowball’s chance in hell of that happening. A guy in his 30′s falling for a woman in her 50′s is about as likely as Lance Bass falling in love with a girl. Speaking of which…

On the Line (2001)

The plot of On the Line revolves around a shy guy (Lance Bass) who meets the girl of his dreams on a train, but doesn’t have the stones to ask her out. He then goes to great lengths to track her down, and wackiness ensues. Actually, replace the word wackiness with awfulness, and you’re right on target. This film also stars Joey Fatone, which only adds to the overpowering shittness. The only thing that saves this film from being number one on the list is the fact that Bass has since come out of the closet, so watching him pretend to be interested in a woman is unintentionally hysterical.

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