Sybok – Star Trek V

Spock’s brother from another mother has a different belief system than his younger bro. This Saddam Hussein-looking Vulcan comes to the Enterprise’s attention when he takes three diplomats hostage on the planet Nimbus III. Kirk and his crew arrive to negotiate with Sybok, only to have their ship overtaken by the charismatic madman. He then takes the crew on an exploration of Heaven to find God. However, they encounter the outer space equivalent of Satan upon reaching the area beyond the Great Barrier. Sybok sacrifices himself to save the crew. That will teach him to embrace emotion over logic. Dumbass.

Dillon – Alien 3

All of the residents of the outer-space penal colony Fiorina ‘Fury’ 161 are rough customers. Otherwise, they wouldn’t be sentenced to end their days on the remote foundry. But Dillon stands tall above them all. A murderer and rapist who has found God at the ass end of space, he’s working to make amends for his past actions by spreading the gospel. Don’t take that to mean that you should mess with him. He’ll still go at you with a pipe if you cross him. Also, this dude fist fought Alien. Not even Predator was that brave.

Mal Reynolds – Serenity

A former platoon leader in the Unification War against the Alliance, the defeated captain decided to live off the grid and keep his profile low. Now he makes his way as a smuggler and thief with the aid of his small crew. Never one to let the Alliance win however, Reynolds’ Firefly-class vessel also houses River Tam, a fugitive with inside knowledge whom the Alliance will stop at nothing to silence.

Zorg – The Fifth Element

As an industrialist and weapons dealer, Jean-Baptiste Emanuel Zorg is already a man of low character. Factor in that he’s a puppet for the Great Evil that wants to consume and destroy Earth, and he comes off as a total dick.

Mark Sheppard – Outland

As manager of a titanium ore mining facility on one of Jupiter’s moon, Sheppard likes to brag that the outpost grew to reach it’s most productive under his rule. But that’s because he’s doping his workers with a drug that makes them stay awake longer, work harder, and go completely psychotic either killing themselves or moon prostitutes. When Sean Connery’s sheriff arrives Sheppard finds himself a wanted man. Probably the second-most evil role from Everybody Loves Raymond’s Peter Boyle. I never did like the way he talked down to Brad Garrett.

Riddick – Pitch Black

Riddick is introduced in Pitch Black as a dangerous criminal being transported to prison. However, when the transport ship crash lands on a dark planet inhabited by dangerous, man-eating creatures, Riddick is the surviving crew’s only hope. That’s because he’s replaced his eyes with artificial eyes that enable him to see perfectly in the dark which makes him a better thief, murderer, and all-around badass.

Jabba the Hutt – Return of the Jedi

Despite his inability to move around well and his tiny dinosaur arms, Jabba the Hutt rose to become one of the most dangerous gangsters in the Star Wars universe. He did this mostly by surrounding himself with thugs and guns for hire, which he would dispatch to do his dirty work. He wasn’t pursued by the law because the universe was largely lawless at that time, but Jabba did make powerful enemies. The most powerful of which being Luke Skywalker, the Jedi who would help return balance to the Force and overthrow the Empire. Not a good enemy to make.

Maggie Grace plays the president’s comely daughter who happens to be hanging out at an off-Earth prison when the inmates take over. And the only non-Liam Neeson guy who can save her is Guy Pearce. A wise-crackin’, butt-smokin’, one man wrecking machine whose gonna astronaut his way in and get her off that floating crowbar hotel. Lockout looks completely ridiculous. But also completely awesome. It’s the Con-Air sequel we’ve always wanted. Give me all the tickets.

In space, when you drop the soap, does the soap float in mid-air?

4 photos'Looper' Set Photos: Future Cars Don't Look Futurey Enough

The highly-anticipated Looper from director Rian Johnson (Brick, Th Brothers Bloom) will land in theaters September 28, 2012, a whole honkin’ 15 months from now. You could have 1 and 2/3 of a baby in that amount of time! Johnson stated, “I’d love for it to be sooner, but it’s a good date for the movie, hopefully it’ll be worth the wait.” It damn well better be. We want our Bruce Willis and Joseph Gordon-Levitt time travel flick, and we want it yesterday.

The Luc Besson-produced Lockout has moved from Februar 24 to April 12, 2012. Playing the Field, in which Gerard Butler tries to bang hot soccer moms, goes to March 9, 2012. Finally, Anonymous from Roland Emmerich, who’s taking a pause from destroying the earth to question Shakespeare‘s authorship, opens October 28th.

Don’t worry about these shifting schedules too much. I’m told there will be several movies of varying genres coming out over the next few months to tide you over.

_{Space prison is much like Earth prison.}

Maggie Grace and Luc Besson last worked together on taken, which Besson produced and co-wrote and Grace starred in as Liam Neeson’s stupid daughter who shares cabs with strange Frenchman just because they smile at her. Now Deadline reports that they’re reteaming for Lockout, a film with one of the coolest loglines I’ve heard in a long time:

Guy Pearce is attached to play a man wrongly convicted of conspiracy to commit espionage against the U.S. He’s offered his freedom if he can rescue the president’s daughter (Grace) from an outer space priso taken over by violent inmates.

He has to save her from a space prison riot? Awesome! Prison riots in genera kick-ass, as evidenced by Face/Off, but imagine what one would look like with zero-gravity, once the device in the film that sustains gravity inevitably gets shut off. If they cast Charles S. Dutton, who’s familiar with space prison from Alien 3 and Earth prison from real life, this film is sure to blow up bigger than Taken. I can hear Guy Pearce saying the lines now… "I will find you. And I will kill you. In space." Good luck.