Total Recall may have found its man to demand that Cohaagen give these people some air. THR's Heat Vision Blog is reporting that Colin Farrell is at the top of the list to lead Len Wiseman's remake of the Arnold Schwarzeneggar classic. Classic? Classic. Inception star Tom Hardy, who will hopefully be Mad Max sometime in the future, and Inglourious Basterds star Michael Fassbender are also being considered.
I understand the importance in securing a Quaid for the film, but it's really the secondary characters that I feel the producers should be most concerned with. In the original Total Recall, Kuato was an animatronic stomach person, but the world has discovered Verne Troyer since then. And let's not forget about the three-boobed prostitute. Ashley Judd could use the one day of work.

Pew pew! Pew pew pew!!
After Whiteout turned out to be a washout, Kate Beckinsale is ready to return to the Underworld franchise. The actress has officially signed on to reprise her role of Selene, the hot karate vampire she played in Underworld and Underworld: Evolution. She did not return for the third film in the series, Underworld: Rise Of The Lycans, otherwise known as Cliff-Sex: The Movie.
The search for a director is underway, as Len Wiseman will only return in a producer capacity. There's also no word yet on what outlandish sex location will be featured this time around. (Coming Soon)

"I get no respect. No respect."
Columbia Pictures is in final negotiations with Len Wiseman to have him direct a new version of Total Recall. The original Arnold Schwarzenegger blockbuster was based on a Philip K. Dick and introduced mainstream audiences to the notion of triple-breasted women, a spectacle you would normally need to travel to the Soviet Union to see.
Len Wiseman handles action really well as evidenced by Bruce Willis surfing on a jet in Live Free Or Die Hard, and high-octane pilot for the new "Hawaii Five-O". His contributions to Dick's story should be visually thrilling if nothing else. From Wiseman:
“I’ve always been fascinated with Philip K. Dick’s short story, and I’m excited at that prospect of diving even deeper into the type of world it evokes and the questions it asks. I love that the most crucial mystery our character is trying to solve is the one of his own soul.”
Pfft. Whatever, hippie. Just tell us when Kate Beckinsale will put on a third breast and Gerard Butler gets his ass to Mars.
Check out the full press release after the jump…

What Len Wiseman most likely did this past weekend: watched Mad Max while saying "Awesome" several times, banged his wife Kate Beckinsale, drove really fast, and had a brilliant idea to direct a new take on a post- apocalyptic thriller. Hmmmmmmmm did one of these things influence this "original" idea, Len? Wiseman, director of Underworld, Live Free Or Die Hard, and several other movies that are currently floating in the studio system ether, has become attached to the FOX project Nocturne. It's about a group of people who survive the end of the world and the mystery surrounding how they got through it. Goodness gracious, how do they come up with this stuff? Rod Serling was squeezing these concepts out into a toilet bowl half a century ago.Writers Jeremy Passmore and Andre Fabrizio have already completed a draft of the script, and FOX has already told them to blow. Maybe they'll get Roland Emmerich on board to rewrite the script. He'll alter the concept slightly and turn it into an alien invasion movie. FOX will poor millions into production, market it, release it, and on opening night it'll suddenly hit them. "Sh*t, we just remade Independence Day!"It'll make millions. Len Wiseman will laugh. And bang his wife Kate Beckinsale.