Screen Junkies » kristen stewert http://www.screenjunkies.com Movie Reviews & TV Show Reviews Wed, 01 Oct 2014 17:39:13 +0000 en hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 7 Reasons ‘Underworld’ Is Better Than ‘Twilight’ http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-lists/7-reasons-underworld-is-better-than-twilight/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-lists/7-reasons-underworld-is-better-than-twilight/#comments Wed, 09 May 2012 16:47:04 +0000 Penn Collins http://www.screenjunkies.com/?p=248532 Advantage: 'Underworld'

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Underworld: Awakening hit video stores yesterday, and in honor of the occassion, we felt that the saga deserves to be pitted head-to-head against that unholy OTHER vampire series to see how the two stack up against each other. As fans of this site could probably presume, it’s Underworld in a walk. Nice try, R-Pats.

Beckinsale Over Stewart In A Landslide

Kate Beckinsale, besides being sexier than Stewart by a country mile, also knows that “acting” isn’t synonymous with “twitching.”

I don’t really know how to better frame this argument. Oh, wait. A single visual comparison should do the trick.

I wanted to give Stewart a fighting chance, so I found a rare pic of her smiling. Still not even close.

It Started As A Revenge Story, Not A Love Story

At least, I think Twilight was a love story. Those kids didn’t really seem to love much of anything but themselves and their beautiful bodies. The Underworld saga began with Selene (Beckinsale) hunting down the Lycans that supposedly killed her family.

If you’re settling in for a supernatural thriller, would you rather the plot runs more to Kill Bill or Pretty Woman? If your answer is Pretty Woman, you might just want to keep it to yourself. Further, I like my heroes in black body suits and carrying spears, not with bedhead and deep-vee t-shirts.

Beckinsale Trashed Twilight, And That’s Pretty Cool

She said that her daughter Lily’s obsession with the Twilight books almost “ruined Christmas.” I know how you feel, Kate. Every Christmas I’ve had since Twilight was first published has been ruined by sexy vampires. It’s terrible.

Further fanning the flames of this pseudo-rivalry, Beckinsale once claimed that her character Selene would destroy Edward Cullen in a fight. I think even Robert Pattinson would have to agree with that.

Simply A Better Title

Underworld is soooo much better than Twilight. Underworld makes me think about seedy creatures that wouldn’t only try to kill me, but possibly steal my watch and pawn it for drugs. If I’m in Underworld, I’m in for an adventure, unpleasant as it may be.

Twilight conjures up images of old people eating dinner at 5:30 in the fall. Because Twilight makes me think of early evening (pretty much the most unremarkable part of the whole day) and people who are so old that they’re almost dead (again, not terribly exciting).

Then we’ve got the sequels. Both franchises keep their titles, but offer colons (hehe) and a subtitle. Underworld offers Rise of the Lycans, Evolution, and Awakenings.

Twilight gives us New Moon, Eclipse, and Breaking Dawn. Lame. Sounds like a weather report.

Underworld, After Four Films, Remains Lautner-Free

Don’t get me wrong. I’m sure Taylor Lautner is a nice guy. Actually, no, I’m not sure about that. He could be a jerk. But I’ll assume he’s nice. I’m also comfortable assuming that his mother was a human and his father was a chipmunk.

And no amount of sit-ups can ever change that.

The Lautner situation is a indicative of a bigger rift between the two films. Twilight seems to feature shirtless boys, whereas Underworld has largely spotlighted sexy women, albeit not many topless ones. To each their own, but it’s my list, so I’m giving the go-ahead to the film that features the sexy women killing beasts, rather than the mopey teenage boys pouting.

A controversial stance, no doubt.

Underworld Hasn’t Spawned An Annoying Subculture

If you’re going to counter with “fanboys can be pretty annoying,” then allow me to counter your counter with “the fanboy culture was around long before Underworld dug its talons into it.

Whereas Twilight, with its accessible love stories, and broadly drawn characters, managed to captivate the masses with stories of lame high-school Vampire love. Vampires and werewolves aren’t cool because they fall in love. They’re cool because they get in fights and bite people in the neck and kill them.

Underworld will be viewed as more of a story than a phenomenon, which is what history tends to favor. No people camping out in lines (not many, anyway), and certainly none of this:

Seriously. Kate Beckinsale

If you’re complaining about her inclusion twice, just be grateful that I didn’t include her in all seven entries. Wait. Why would anyone be grateful I didn’t do that?

Weirdo.

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Chris Hemsworth Is Kristen Stewart’s New Shirtless Love Interest In ‘Snow White’ http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/chris-hemsworth-is-kristen-stewarts-new-shirtless-love-interest-in-snow-white/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/chris-hemsworth-is-kristen-stewarts-new-shirtless-love-interest-in-snow-white/#comments Sat, 14 May 2011 04:32:02 +0000 Geoffrey Golden http://www.screenjunkies.com/?p=212185 Hemsworth was chosen to play the titular Huntsman in 'Snow White and the Huntsman', the 9 bazillionth 'Snow White' movie currently in development.

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The Twilight formula is Kristen Stewart acting twitchy and weird opposite a guy who looks good shirtless. So it makes sense that for Stewart’s latest role, as Snow White in Snow White and the Hunstman, she’ll have mighty, muscular Thor‘ target=’_blank’>Thor-2′ target=’_blank’>Thor to make-out with on screen. Tween girls, start your screeching.

Chris Hemsworth was chosen to play The Huntsman in the 9 bazillionth Snow White movie currently in development. He’ll join a cast that includes Stewart and Charlize Theron. In Universal’s version of the fairy tale, The Huntsman is sent to kill Snow White by the evil queen (Theron), but ends up protecting her instead. Yeah, no one pushes The Might Thor around, except in all the scenes where Thor gets pushed around. (Deadline)

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Kristen Stewart In Weird, Twitchy Talks To Star In ‘Snow White’ http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/kristen-stewart-in-weird-twitchy-talks-to-star-in-snow-white/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/kristen-stewart-in-weird-twitchy-talks-to-star-in-snow-white/#comments Thu, 27 Jan 2011 08:27:42 +0000 Geoffrey Golden http://www.screenjunkies.com/?p=22672 Stewart's apparently circling in on the role like a vampire swooping around a cute, but perpetually nervous looking teenage girl.

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“An apple? That’s… uhm… thanks. You’re old, but… y’know… whatever… yeah.” That’s what I’m imagining dialogue from the new Snow White and The Huntsman would be like with Twilight star Kristen Stewart as the princess who’s into tiny dudes. Stewart’s reportedly circling in on the role like a vampire swooping around a cute, but perpetually nervous looking teenage girl.

As I reported earlier this evening, Viggo Mortensen and Charlize Theron are also in talks to join the cast, as The Huntsman and the Evil Queen respectively. (Earlier, I also reported on bloody cyber aliens, but why am I bringing that up now?) Stewart is the star Universal’s always wanted for the role, and the twitchy woman may be ready to take on another big studio project post-Twilight. She’s apparently been in a lot of indie movies I will never, ever see.

Stewart as Snow White? As long as she doubles as Awkward the dwarf, I have no problem with that. (Hollywood Reporter)

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First Still From ‘Twilight: Breaking Dawn’ Looks Like Softcore Porn http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/first-image-from-twilight-new-dawn-looks-like-softcore-porn/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/first-image-from-twilight-new-dawn-looks-like-softcore-porn/#comments Thu, 13 Jan 2011 03:45:29 +0000 Geoffrey Golden http://www.screenjunkies.com/?p=15901 Or a Barbara Walters special?

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When you imagine “sex with a vampire,” you probably think of dark castles, coffins and the Monster Mash playing in the background while you get your neck sucked. That’s what I imagine, at least — and I think about it all the time! However, there’s clearly a world of difference between Dracula and the Twilight Saga, as you can see from the touching image to the left.

This sneak peak still from the upcoming Twilight: Breaking Dawn, which teases a heartwarming sex scene between tween dream actors Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart. The image looks like it was shot in soft focus with bright warm lights – this doesn’t exactly look like”True Blood,” that’s for sure. More like softcore porn or a Barbara Walters special. However, my understanding is that there’s a super-gory childbirth scene in Breaking Dawn, but even still, this isn’t vampire sex. This is tamer than the cover of a Harlequin novel. (Collider)

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New Moon http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/films/new-moon/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/films/new-moon/#comments Wed, 04 Nov 2009 17:50:34 +0000 Reza F. Director: Chris WeitzCast: Kristen Stewart, Robert Pattinson, Taylor LautnerSynopsis: The Twilight vampire Saga continues...

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Director: Chris Weitz

Cast: Kristen Stewart, Robert Pattinson, Taylor Lautner

Synopsis: The Twilight vampire Saga continues…

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