_{^{Cancel the close-ups. Let’s stick to the wide-angle shots.}}

Sex in the City 2 may have many faults, but thematically speaking, the film is on point. According to an early review by Variety, the film is barren in almost every sense of the word.

Overstaying its welcome at nearly 2 1/2 hours…part of the action occurs in the desert, which inadvertently proves apt, since the oases of enjoyable moments — and they do exist — suffer from being spaced too widely in what’s otherwise a long, arid trek.

Let me get this straight: the film is a comedy devoid of "enjoyable moments" (i.e. laughs) involving four women who are too old to procreate as they look for sex in a barren desert. A film can’t have that many ironic overtones by accident.

Perhaps my court-appointed therapist was right, and my contempt for this franchise and its fan base stems from a deep-seated misogyny rather than any legitimate problems with the writing, acting, directing and marketing involved with these awful films.

Eh, what the hell does she know? Am I right, fellas? (Variety)

^{*Note: My original title for this piece was Sex and the City 2: The Adventures of Barren Von Muffhausen.}

This trailer for Golden Girls Origins Sex and the City 2 has reunited everyone’s favorite assholes and relocated them to the Lipstick Desert. When the plot picks up, the ladies are bored with marriage/kids/cougarism and decide to take a group vacation to Abu Dhabi.

My big question is ‘Why?’ Why would anyone go to Abu Dhabi?? Isn’t that the place where cartoon characters ship their annoying counterparts after convincing them to climb into wooden crates? Oh, you know what. I now see the logic.

Watch the faaabulousssss trailer after the jump…

Sex and the City 2 Premiere Trailer – Watch more Movie Trailers