The kind of nitrous oxide that makes Grateful Dead and Widepread Panic fans the way they are.

It’s hard to imagine a less likely candidate for huffing laughing gas. Demi Moore is a mature, A-list celebrity with a loving family. She’s also on the heels of what would seem to be a pretty devastating separation, which could have driven her to gas-huffing. I don’t know. I would have thought that being in a relationship with Ashton Kutcher would have led her to huff things.

Anyway, she’s in some pretty bad company when it comes to classless scandals (shocking, no?). Here are a few in her rarified company.

George Michael – Anonymous Sex In A Public Restroom…Twice

Twice. The first time in Beverly Hills, where he was arrested, the second time in England, where he was also arrested. So the guy likes anonymous sex. That’s cool, I guess. But in public restrooms? So conspicuously that you get arrested? Twice?

This makes me wonder how many times he’s actually done it and not gotten arrested. I’m guessing around a billion. His partner, Kenny Goss, is apparently totally cool with this behavior, which may be the sleaziest aspect of these incidents.

Hugh Grant – Picking Up A Hooker That Looks Like Divine Brown

I don’t know how I can further explain how weird and sleazy this was. The fact that it was constantly befuddled charming Brit Hugh Grant helps. So does the fact that he was dating Elizabeth Hurley at the time. That was more than a little confusing/troubling. Never mind the adage, “Going out for burgers when you have prime rib at home.” This is “going out for getting punched in the dick when you have Elizabeth Hurley at home.”

It’s a lesser known idiom, but quite apt, if you ask me.

Paramount must realize the colossal turkey they have on their hands with G.I. Joe because now they’re trying a new marketing approach… targeting dummies. A few weeks ago they directed their efforts on the Jersey Shore , now the LA Times is reporting that the advertising is focusing heavily on mid-America. The film is apparently embedded in the Kid Rock concert tour and advertising on giant screens in the Mall Of America. The message of this campaign being, it is your patriotic duty to see this movie. All right, fine. I love my country so I’ll see this movie. Even though the post-traumatic stress will probably leave me a shell of my former self.

Do your part and click on these morning links…