^{"If you come on my show, I’ll pay you twice what Conan did to masturbate half as much."}

The most recent Late Night Wars have taken another casualty. Kevin Eubanks, The Tonight Show‘s snickering sweater-enthusiast and band leader, is reportedly leaving the show after the March 1st debut of The Tonight Show with Jay Leno: The Squeakquel. According to Extra, Kevin "wanted a change" which is Hollywood-speak for "f*ck this sh*t." There’s no word yet on what other opportunities Eubanks plans to pursue or how Leno will move forward without his only fan. Hootie and the Blowfish’s Hootie Darius Rucker is rumored to be replacing. He’d better work on his Hibbert.

Good move Jay. Now how are we supposed to know when you’ve told a joke? (Extra)