In fact, there are few individuals more manufactured than the Kardashian brand, and they’re all fictional. Here they are.

RoboCop – RoboCop

Left for dead by a gang of malicious thugs, Officer Murphy was saved by the cybernetic technology that makes up his body. He’s like 90% robot (despite what the film’s tagline would have you believe), but still longs for the domestic life he was forced to give up. Take a page out of RoboCop‘s book, Kim. He’d kill to have his wife back and here you are queefing all over the sanctity of marriage.

Captain America – Captain America

Born an underweight weakling, Steve Rodgers submitted to a top secret super soldier program that transformed him into the star spangled avenger, Captain America. He must feel foolish after all of the testing and procedures. Turns out he could have raised his profile easily with a leaked sex tape.

Well played, Walk of Fame. Well played. Except that Whitney Houston already has a star on the world famous sidewalk. Why the change of heart? Granted, she received the star years before Bobby Brown went public with the story about the time he pulled a lodged doodoo bubble out of her booty, however who are you to judge? It used to be that anyone who was a public figure in their field for five years and willing to spend $30,000 was welcome to buy the honor. Is reality money not good enough for you? Besides Mob Wives money, of course.

Ana Martinez, vice president for media relations and producer for the Hollywood Walk of Fame, explains that “It’s just not on the radar for us right now.”

Martinez tells CNN that nominees need to meet the Hollywood Chamber of Commerce’s criteria: awards and honors in entertainment, philanthropic work, as well as longevity in the field and the willingness to agree to the ceremony and pay $30,000 for the star’s installation and upkeep on the street.

Okay. Then let’s go down that checklist.

If the committee is true to their word, there are reality stars that actually fit the bill. Think of those mainstays that are always punching each other on The Real World/Road Rules Challenges. They’ve been at that for a decade at least. I’d consider that show’s $160,000 prize and Kia Sorrentos that they give away to count as both an award AND an honor. As far as philanthropic work goes, porn counts. That just leaves the matter of the $30,000 fee. Dunbar, are you good for it?

Okay. Perhaps the Douchebag Olympians aren’t the best example. Let’s move on to Paris Hilton and Kim Kardashian. Both have been mainstays in the reality spotlight for a good deal of time. They’ve appeared on The Simple Life as far back as 2003. The $30,000 fee shouldn’t be a problem either. They reportedly make $50K per tweet. Then there’s the philanthropic work. Once again, porn counts. Other than that, they’ve both funded AIDS research. As far as awards go, I’ll have you know that Hilton has three Razzies and one Teen Choice whereas Kardashian also has a Teen Choice award (she came close to winning a Razzie for her performance in Disaster Movie but was edged out by Hilton’s performance in Hottie and the Nottie).

Sounds to me like we have two successful young ladies who have proven themselves against all categories. And YOU KNOW they love a good ceremony. Now, if you don’t mind, give them their dumb stars already.

Sara Kosar

The aforementioned Sara Kosar, daughter of former NFL quarterback Bernie Kosar, is just the latest celebrity daughter to allegedly get into porn (when she’s not working as an aerobics instructor). And it’s evidently not the kind of porn it’s OK to look at while you’re at work. But Lexxi Silver isn’t the first celebrity’s daughter who’s looked to America’s Largest Industry to make some extra cash.

Montana Fishburne

Montana Fishburne, daughter of actor Laurence Fishburne, is another celebrity daughter who recently began a career in porn. And unfortunately, it doesn’t look like Dad is any happier about this than you’d expect, since the actor has reportedly cut off all ties with his daughter. And porn isn’t the onl fringe business Montana has been involved in: In 2009 she was arrested for prostitution. Hey, maybe porn isn’t so bad after all.

Jayme Langford

Not all celebrity daughters in porn capitalize on their famous last names. Take Jayme Langford, whose identity as rock star Dave Navarro’s daughter is such a secret that it isn’t even mentioned on her Wikipedia page. This might be because unlike Montana Fishburne, Jayme Langford isn’t exactly a porn “star.” According to recent rumors, she’s currently addicted to crystal meth and living out of her car.

American Idol

The American Idol freight train first got going in 2002 and has become a runaway hit. It has slowed down in recent years but has made a comeback last season thanks to a massive personnel overhaul. Gone are original mainstays Simon Cowell and Paula Abdul. The extravagant Steven Tyler and the beautiful Jennifer Lopez now call the shots alongside Randy Jackson.  This show has great laughs along the way as many self-proclaimed vocalists attempt to wow the judges but end up making a mockery of themselves on national television. The most enjoyable part of the season comes when only the crème de la crème remain. This is the time you and your girlfriend frantically text in your votes after each show to support your favorite performers and keep them in the mix. You’ll be surprised how fun it actually is.

Keeping Up with the Kardashians

The Kardashians lawn bowling at Caesar's Palace

As we touched on above, Keeping Up with the Kardashians follows the exploits (and cat fights) of the Kardashians including stepfather and former Olympian, Bruce Jenner, while also featuring a lot of Kim’s beautiful booty. Although the show follows the family doing the most of mundane chores, women love to tune in every week—we’ve already told you why men have stopped complaining.

The Bachelor

The bachelor toasting

For male viewers,  ABC ‘s The Bachelor really isn’t too difficult to watch. A single bachelor, good looking and successful, is made to choose among a pool of beautiful women, most of whom are are head over heels for him. Slowly, the guy eliminates the women he is not interested in until he is left with the one he feels is most right for him (usually the sexiest one in the group). Women hate the way the guy plays around with the feelings of the women in the group as he breaks hearts left and right. Most guys on the other hand, cheer him on. Especially as he makes out with just about all of them.

What Not to Wear

Clinton Kelly and Stacy London of What Not To Wear

Hosted by the lovely Stacy London and the ever-so-funny fashion consultant Clinton Kelly, the show features participants nominated by their closest friends and family because of their utter disdain for style. The duo teaches these unfashionable individuals how to properly mix and match clothing and in-show hair and makeup stylists then give them a serious makeover. The result is usually a shocker as the previously bland looking participants end up looking like fashion models. Making normal women look hot? How can that be a bad thing to be subjected to?

Cheaters

Joey Greco confronting a cheater

The wild and woolly syndicated show, Cheaters follows host Joey Greco, as he takes on cases of suspected infidelity. The host uses private detectives who stake out the partner in question and set up surveillance cameras to help catch them in the act. When they have sufficient evidence, the tapes are presented to the complainant who then confronts the cheating partner. The production even has a brazen camera crew that gets into the middle of whatever melee erupts. Watching the show is often used as a preemptive measure by your wife or girlfriend to make sure that you are on the up and up because if you’re not, Joey Greco is just a phone call away. If you yourself have nothing to hide, watching the confrontations is always a barrel of laughs.

Kourtney Kardashian is known for being the older, less attractive sister of Kim Kardashian. Also, she just had a baby. Gross. 

A word from Kourtney: "There’s so many times I’ll forget to take my pill and I don’t think it’s that big of a deal."

Yeah, no big deal. The only downside is you get BABIES!!!

Practice safe sex by checking out the pics after the jump.

We all know Kim Kardashian, I just haven’t done a post of her yet so I thought I’d go ahead and do that. She’s famous for being famous, and having sex with a rapper.

A word from Kim: "I have a sex tape with a Black guy! That’s why I’m famous!"

See? Even SHE admits it. But damn if she can’t wear a shirt. Or not wear one. 

Check out more pics of Kim and her assets after the jump.