MTV has gone ahead and green lighted two Jersey Shore“ spin-offs which means ‘doing nothing’ will soon be considered a viable career path in our society. One show will follow DJ Pauly D as he sets off on tour to highlight his talent of playing other peoples’ music. The second show is a reality show starring Snooki and JWoww. Having formed a tight bond on “Jersey Shore,” the new program will focus on their friendship as they get hammered on vodka and by really muscular dudes.

It’s easy to sit here in this coffee shop on my brother’s laptop and rail against how unfair it is that these guys are millionaires. But, honestly, there’s no reason to hate. Pauly D and Snooki are both really entertaining in their own right. And JWoww… well… hmmm. Knockers are pretty entertaining, I guess. I’ll reserve my anger for when Vinnie gets his own show. (Deadline)

_{They’re in Miami, bitch.}

The east coast was cold, making it impossible to cop a sweet tan, so MTV crated up the cast of "Jersey Shore" and shipped them to Miami for Season 2 of the decline of totally juiced western civilization. As you can probably guess, there’s more drinking, scratching, narcissim, and unintelligible negative comments toward ego-threatening houseguests, all with a built in fish out of water hook. Cocaine sales in South Beach are about to skyrocket.

Check out the teaser after the jump…

_{Pauly D. looks as sober as a judge.}

BREAKING NEWS: Someone from the "Jersey Shore" cast is hitting the booger sugar. Radar is reporting that while filming the second season of the juiced, tanned, and greased show in Miami, one of the gang played in the snow. The identity of the culprit is being kept under wraps, but police are utilizing the tried and tested method of throwing rocks on South Beach and trying not to hit a cokehead. It’s a numbers game at this point.

“Miami is obviously a big drug city,” one source told RadarOnline.com, “and when this cast member want (sic) to score, it wasn’t hard.”

Narc! Narc!

“Finding someone to buy drugs from in South Beach is as easy as asking for it,” the source said. “It’s not hard and everyone is discreet.”

Another Narc!

“A connection was made and that’s all it took,” the source told RadarOnline.com. “A lot of things were done in code. Other people knew about it but no one ratted out this person.”

I don’t know about you guys, but I’ve had enough of these accusations. I’m going to go mow my mother’s lawn. **Walk-runs into bathroom to flush stash**

File this one under: What Took So Long?

RadarOnline.com has discovered that nude photos of Jersey Shore‘s JWoww are being shopped around to media outlets. The photos show JWoww (aka Jenni Farley), and those silicon bulbs attached to her chest, posing topless with a small wrap around her bottom. The photographer made the strange choice of shooting the pictures with moody lighting against a brownish backdrop. I’d have assumed that the pics would be taken in front of an Italian flag or that rustic wallpaper they have up at Olive Garden. Guess she’s saving that for her Hustler spread. (RadarOnline)