Screen Junkies » jurassic park http://www.screenjunkies.com Movie Reviews & TV Show Reviews Fri, 29 Aug 2014 17:39:03 +0000 en hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 Steven Spielberg Mercilessly Guns Down Triceratops, Receives a Tongue-Lashing From the Internet For Doing So http://www.screenjunkies.com/tv/tv-news/steven-spielberg-mercilessly-guns-down-triceratops-receives-a-tongue-lashing-from-the-internet-for-doing-so/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/tv/tv-news/steven-spielberg-mercilessly-guns-down-triceratops-receives-a-tongue-lashing-from-the-internet-for-doing-so/#comments Fri, 11 Jul 2014 20:56:19 +0000 Jared Jones http://www.screenjunkies.com/?p=262938 By Jared Jones Being that this is 2014 and you have Facebook, you’ve likely heard by now about that Texas cheerleader who posted several photos of herself alongside endangered animals she...

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By Jared Jones

Being that this is 2014 and you have Facebook, you’ve likely heard by now about that Texas cheerleader who posted several photos of herself alongside endangered animals she had shot while on an African safari. Depending on how much of an animal lover you are, you might have even already started a Facebook page aimed at killing Ms. Jones in response to her little hunting trip, because the intricacies of Hammurabi’s Code were lost on you long ago.

In any case, Jay Branscomb attempted to poke fun at our cultural filleting of Ms. Jones earlier this week, posting the above photo of Steven Spielberg from the set of Jurassic Park to his Facebook page with the caption, “Disgraceful photo of recreational hunter happily posing next to a Triceratops he just slaughtered. Please share so the world can name and shame this despicable man.”

The Internet’s response was classic Internet:

First, a zoomed-in version of the header photo, in which one commenter claims that “I don’t care who [Spielberg] is, he should not have shot that animal.” A strong and well thought out criticism, for sure, but he loses points for leaping to the conclusion that Spielberg shot that Triceratops without photographic evidence of the rifle to confirm it. How is he so confident that Spielberg didn’t take down that creature which has been extinct for some 66 million years ago with a bowie knife, or a tripwire, or a gigantic bear trap? Otherwise, airtight argument.

Below, and strap yourself in for this one, we have the epitome of misplaced outrage.

If there’s one thing that all stupid people with access to the internet have in common, it’s the belief that an ellipsis and a period are interchangeable punctuation. Must….go……….faster…

But to Mr. Branscomb, I tip my cap and say Bravo. While you surely could not have predicted that your simple Facebook post would hold a mirror to society — a mirror which society would then run into thinking it was another society – your sense of humor remains a glowing beacon of hope in an otherwise dreary day of news. And for that, we thank you.

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It’s The JURASSIC PARK Theme Sung By Goats http://www.screenjunkies.com/video/its-the-jurassic-park-theme-sung-by-goats/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/video/its-the-jurassic-park-theme-sung-by-goats/#comments Mon, 07 Jul 2014 20:12:26 +0000 Wookie Johnson http://www.screenjunkies.com/?post_type=video&p=262723 A John Williams classic re-imagined for a new generation.

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Before you dismiss this as sounding terrible, just know that none of these goats have any formal singing training. They do it because they love it.

 

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But What If ‘Jurassic Park’ Were About Giant Bulldogs? http://www.screenjunkies.com/video/but-what-if-jurassic-park-were-about-giant-bulldogs/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/video/but-what-if-jurassic-park-were-about-giant-bulldogs/#comments Mon, 23 Jun 2014 16:56:52 +0000 Wookie Johnson http://www.screenjunkies.com/?post_type=video&p=262444 I'd still see it.

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Jurassic Park would have been a much different movie had the dinosaurs been swapped out with adorable, giant bulldogs. Still enjoyable, but very different. For instance, there’d be a lot less tension and likely a lot more farting. Anything with Jeff Goldblum and bulldogs though is bound to break box office records.

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Bid On The Veclociraptor Cage From ‘Jurassic Park’. Jeff Goldblum Remains Off The Market. http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/bid-on-the-veclociraptor-cage-from-jurrassic-park-jeff-goldblum-remains-off-the-market/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/bid-on-the-veclociraptor-cage-from-jurrassic-park-jeff-goldblum-remains-off-the-market/#comments Tue, 28 Jan 2014 18:01:53 +0000 Penn Collins http://www.screenjunkies.com/?p=258953 It's good for small dogs. It's GREAT for small dogs.

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The cage from Jurassic Park that held the velociraptors is now on sale via Ebay. Shoot. I hate it when I say everything I have to say in an article in the first sentence. Hmm.

The minimum bid is about $100,000, which is a lot of money for an item that people will just respond to with “Huh. How bout that?” But, reach people have a lot of money to spend on stupid things. It’s not exactly Rosebud the sled, but I guess that it’s a pretty neat thing to have. And if dinosaurs ever get cloned from DNA preserved in flies in amber, you won’t have to go cage shopping.

Well, you will if this is a fake cage and can’t hold a velociraptor. Which it most certainly is. Whatever. It’s a fake cage. Just buy it.

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Honest Trailers: ‘Jurassic Park 3D’ http://www.screenjunkies.com/video/honest-trailers-jurassic-park-3d/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/video/honest-trailers-jurassic-park-3d/#comments Tue, 02 Apr 2013 17:19:35 +0000 Wookie Johnson http://www.screenjunkies.com/?post_type=video&p=254225 Welcome to Jurassic Park. Again.

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Jurassic Park returns to theaters with a needless 3D re-release on Friday. Which means you’ll soak in Jeff Goldblum like never before. Personally, we’re psyched and spared no expense to bring you this Honest Trailer.

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We Got Dodgson Here! http://www.screenjunkies.com/general/we-got-dodgson-here/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/general/we-got-dodgson-here/#comments Thu, 08 Dec 2011 08:00:24 +0000 Screen Junkies http://www.screenjunkies.com/?p=239176

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Samuel L. Jackson Is Hollywood’s Highest-Grossing Actor http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/samuel-l-jackson-is-hollywoods-highest-grossing-actor/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/samuel-l-jackson-is-hollywoods-highest-grossing-actor/#comments Thu, 27 Oct 2011 17:00:54 +0000 Penn Collins http://www.screenjunkies.com/?p=234012 And that's not even considering all the money he makes from wearing Kangol hats and laughing uproariously at the Oscars.

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On a per-film basis, I’m sure that Will Smith or Harrison Ford has him beat, but due to the fact that he’s in half the films Hollywood makes, it should comes as little surprise that our favorite bad motherf*cker, Samuel L. Jackson, has made more money from his films than any other actor.

More than $7.4 billion, according to the Guinness Book of World Records. Jackson has acted in over 100 films in his career, including some juggernauts like the Star Wars prequels, Jurassic Park, and, of course, the Hollywood smash Changing Lanes alongside Ben Affleck.

What’s more surprising than his box office take is the fact that Jackson is 63 years old. I hope he gets ornery soon. Could you imagine a more ornery Samuel L.? That would be amazing.

And what’s even more surprising than that is that Tyrese Gibson is tracking to take Jackson’s crown down the line, having grossed $1.7 billion this summer alone with Transformers: The Something Something LaBeouf, and Fast 5. If Gibson can get a cameo in the next Pirates movie, he will OWN Hollywood.

Yay Tyrese Gibson!

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The ‘Jurassic Park Trilogy Box Set’ Is Sexier Than A Shirtless Jeff Goldblum http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/dvd/the-jurassic-park-trilogy-box-set-is-sexier-than-a-shirtless-jeff-goldblum/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/dvd/the-jurassic-park-trilogy-box-set-is-sexier-than-a-shirtless-jeff-goldblum/#comments Tue, 25 Oct 2011 19:59:53 +0000 Mark Potts http://www.screenjunkies.com/?p=233766 Just kidding. Nothing's sexier than a shirtless Jeff Goldblum...

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Steven Spielberg had already earned a spot in film history by 1993, but that was the year he cemented it with Jurassic Park. The story of a billionaire’s dream of bringing dinosaurs back to life and the unfortunate repercussions of that dream is still as exciting to watch as it was nearly 18 years ago.

The film was released today on Blu-ray DVD in the Jurassic Park Trilogy Box Set. Now, the second and third films aren’t as beloved as the first, so some of you might be hesitant to purchase the entire series. But you shouldn’t be. The first film is worth that money alone. And come on, the second film isn’t as bad as you remember (since Jeff Goldblum is awesome and insane). The third film is… never mind.

So, what are you getting with this blu-ray? You’re getting the best possible picture for these films. It’s crisp, colorful, and gorgeous. The sound is as amazing as if you were in a theater, and if you have 7.1 surround sound, you’ll enjoy it even more.

Wit the box set, you’re also getting all the extras from the DVD releases plus a great six-part documentary about the making of the trilogy. It clocks in at just over two hours and it’s worth watching every minute. The first film gets three parts. You get to see the original stop-motion dinosaur animation, and thank God they went digital (though hearing the animators talk about it is pretty sad.) All the actors are back, and they are a pleasure to listen to (especially Jeff Goldblum…again, awesome and insane). And of course, hearing Steven Spielberg talk about making movies is about as entertaining as his movies.

The second film has two parts, which are more of the same, but still highly interesting for Jurassic Park fans. And then the third film gets one part, and it starts with talking about the Jurassic Park ride, which is sort of funny if you think about it. But, give it a watch anyway. William H. Macy is cool and he talks a lot.

The trilogy is released today with an SRP of $79.98, but many retailers are selling it for much less. In my opinion, this is definitely one you need in your Blu-ray collection.

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9 Obnoxious Child Characters That Make Me Want To Get My Tubes Tied http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-lists/9-obnoxious-child-characters-that-make-me-want-to-get-my-tubes-tied/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-lists/9-obnoxious-child-characters-that-make-me-want-to-get-my-tubes-tied/#comments Fri, 30 Sep 2011 13:44:59 +0000 Penn Collins http://www.screenjunkies.com/?p=230067 Quiet, little ones. The adults are talking.

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Child characters have the ability to completely torpedo a good film. Despite the fact that every writer, producer, actor, and director has been a child, no one seems to know how to create one that isn’t grating on at least one level. Maybe it’s because that’s just how children are. Being in my early thirties, I haven’t talked to or seen a child in almost a decade, so I’m not really a good source of information here.

I am a good source of information on annoying child characters in film,s though. I’m not saying I would inflict physical harm on these kids, but if you could imagine me saying those words out loud, you would see that I was also enthusiastically nodding and smiling when I spoke the words “physical harm.”

Note: Anakin Skywalker has been done to death, so you won’t find that little bastard on this list. And technically, he really is a bastard, so the sponsor shouldn’t get mad about that.

9. Ray – Jerry Maguire

His agent is on the other line, telling him that he's got about six more months to milk this thing.

I understand that your dad’s not in the picture, Ray, but that doesn’t mean that we will always find endearing your off-brand moppish charm. I mean, Ray is the kid most likely to help you get laid if you’re just walking around, but that’s not enough.

I now know that the human head weighs eight pounds. All of them weigh eight pounds. Fat heads, skinny ones, even Giada de Laurentis’ head.

8. The Kid That Sees Dead People – The Sixth Sense

If Eeyore was a young boy, he would be this kid.

Cheer up, dude. Yeah, you see dead people. Your mom is a bit of a head case. And you’re poor. That sucks too.

Have some fun. Forget about the dead people for a minute and read The Hunger Games while you listen to the Black Eyed Peas. Go spraypaint an underpass. Steal Bruce Willis’ character’s wig, then staple it to a dog.

You know what takes your mind off of constantly being hounded by death? Ice cream. Go eat some f*cking ice cream, kid.

7. Lex – Jurassic Park

They had to write those cuts and scrapes into the script after Jeff Goldblum lost his temper with her.

There’s no reason why she should be there. If you are in the beta phase of testing your dinosaur zoo, maybe don’t bring dumb kids around. The most annoying thing about this insufferable little girl is the fact that she wants to be referred to as a “hacker.” You’re not a hacker. You’re an amalgam of characteristics that test well in focus groups, Lex.

What’s amazing is that Lex is only the second most-annoying kid in Jurassic Park.

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http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-lists/9-obnoxious-child-characters-that-make-me-want-to-get-my-tubes-tied/feed/ 0 #9 His agent is on the other line, telling him that he's got about six more months to milk this thing. #8 If Eeyore was a young boy, he would be this kid. #7 They had to write those cuts and scrapes into the script after Jeff Goldblum lost his temper with her.
How To Make A Film That Withstands the Test of Time http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-lists/how-to-make-a-film-that-withstands-the-test-of-time/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-lists/how-to-make-a-film-that-withstands-the-test-of-time/#comments Wed, 07 Sep 2011 15:17:48 +0000 Penn Collins http://www.screenjunkies.com/?p=227038 What do Wes Anderson films have in common with 'Clueless'? You can watch them a decade later without wanting to gouge your eyes out.

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As the type of person who regularly finds himself being spoon-fed cable movies as a result of a remarkably sedentary lifestyle, I’m frequently revisiting beloved movies of my youth with curiously mixed results. If one was to take a sampling of the movies I enjoyed from my childhood and teenage years, only a fraction hold my interest today. Of course, many of the rejects can be attributed to the fact that my tastes in films have changed. This is an easy, answer. Too easy, in fact.

It’s dismissive to assume that a film that fails to hold up after twenty or ten or two years is the result of a change in the viewer. Many of these films were not designed to hold up. Sprinkled with popular references, dated soundtracks, and borderline-retarded notions of what the future had in store for us, some films have a cultural shelf life that’s about as long as an episode of Access Hollywood.

The durability of films from this era is a curious phenomenon. One movie that completely exists in its time, like Clueless, holds up extremely well, having made the transition from “topical” to “charming,” while a movie like Wayne’s World captures a similar point in time and a similar niche, also developing its own weird vocabulary for its characters. I use these two examples because a) they act as an example and a cautionary tale, respectively, and b) both of these films were extremely well-received and regarded as “important” in their day.

So how does Clueless stay with us after these years, while Wayne’s World shakes out as borderline unwatchable? (Wayne’s World 2 even more so, but mostly because it’s just a terrible film)

These are just two examples of films that either fight or give in to the ravages of time. Comedies seem especially prone, as does any film that tries to tell us what the future will be like. The recipe to make a film popular at the time of its release is by no means the same one used to insure it’s popularity a decade, or even a few years later.

The touch-points required to last aren’t exactly rocket science, but striking the balance between contemporary relevance and durability is bit trickier. In order to ensure that I can sit around like a beached whale on Sundays while enjoying the highest caliber of entertainment from the past 20 years, I’ve compiled a definitive guide of how things should be done so that I may enjoy your film in 2017 as much as I enjoyed it in 2011.

You’re welcome in advance, Hollywood.

Stay Away From Technology You Don’t Understand. Seriously. Stay Away From It. You Never Will Never Get It Right And You Will Look Ridiculous.

Before I go any further with the categories and examples, it warrants mentioning that a bad movie, no matter how much it sticks to these magnificent guidelines I’m  laying out, won’t stand the test of time. It won’t be popular or “good” when it’s at its most relevant, so don’t expect it to age from vinegar to wine as time marches on. Bad movies will always be bad, whereas good movies can remain as such, or lose their luster over time.

Bad Examples: Disclosure, The Lawnmower Man, The Net, Hackers, Jurassic Park

Good Examples: You’ve Got Mail, Sneakers, Enemy of the State, Back to the Future 2, Jurassic Park

Make reasonable assumptions about the future of technology. When you make huge leaps forward, at least do them with enough creativity that they seem like an inspired inclusion (powerlaces, hoverboards, dinosaur cloning) rather than some half-assed stab at what the future might bring (any scene from 1991-1997 that involved virtual reality, hackers with nose rings).

If your cool characters are “techies,” make them cool people that happen to be techies, like in Sneakers, rather than people who are cool because they’re techies, like in Hackers or that obnoxious little girl Lex from Jurassic Park.

Move forward simply and no one will get hurt. You’ve Got Mail, while not a personal favorite, added simple logical elements (email, internet dating) to staid concepts (pen pals, blind dating). While AOL might as well be making buggy whips these days, the genetics of the concept nonetheless read as quaint, rather than ephemeral.

If you’re going to dabble in technology, think long and hard about how this will look in one short decade if you’re wrong. Don’t worry about what happens if you’re right. It happens so rarely, it’s not really worth considering.

Celebrity Cameos: Bob Barker, But Not Jerry Springer

Bad Examples: Austin Powers 2, Dodgeball, Friends with Benefits

Good Examples: Singles, Wayne’s World, Zoolander, Happy Gilmore, Jerry Maguire

If you want to allow your viewers to watch the film without being ripped out of its universe, don’t toss in some flavor-of-the-month that people will have to rack their brain to understand the significance of years after it occurs. Having your characters resolve their problems on The Jerry Springer Show wasn’t particularly inspired when Austin Powers 2 did it in 1999. It seems downright lazy and unfunny now, just like the Springer show itself. Same with Shaun White in Friends with Benefits, Ryan Seacrest in Knocked Up, and Tabitha Soren (or anyone from MTV) in Black Sheep’s painfully dated “Rock the Vote” scene. (Shame on you, Mudhoney. Shame on your eyes.)

Topical cameos can be funny, so long as they’re absurd or relevant enough to hold up. I wouldn’t want to live in a world where Billy Zane didn’t pop up in Zoolander, nor Pearl Jam in Singles. The fact remains that, in these universes, Zane was supposed to be at that fashion show and walk-off, and Pearl Jam were supposed to be dicking around at a coffee shop in Seattle in 1992. Dr. Evil and Scotty weren’t supposed to be on Springer, but they were there nonetheless. And it doesn’t feel right.

Bob Barker wasn’t supposed to be beating the living hell out of Happy Gilmore, but the absurdity of it sells it, because Bob Barker is so not supposed to be in the film, let alone punching Happy. That it’s ridiculous enough to swing back around to durable.

Further: No reality television star references or appearances. Ever.  No one in 2025 will be happy that Omarosa or Evan Marriott appeared in an Adam Sandler film. You probably don’t even know who those people are, which solidifies my point.

Click ‘Next Page’ to continue…

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Steven Spielberg Willing To Consider ‘Jurassic Park 4′ http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/steven-spielberg-willing-to-consider-jurassic-park-4/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/steven-spielberg-willing-to-consider-jurassic-park-4/#comments Thu, 16 Jun 2011 15:44:22 +0000 Wookie Johnson http://www.screenjunkies.com/?p=216406 The child in me who likes to see people being eaten really wants this.

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5 photosPretty Pictures from Steven Spielberg's 'Terra Nova'

Back in January, Joe Johnston told Box Office Magazine that a fourth Jurassic Park film would kickstart a new dinosaurs eat people trilogy. The news kind of came and went without any real follow-up but today there’s proof that Johnston wasn’t just saying things. We, the Internet, are sorry for doubting you Joe Johnston. Here, you can have half of our lunch.

THR reports that Steven Spielberg is in dino-mode again and having talks with screenwriter Mark Protosevich about returning to Isla Nublar for Jurassic Park 4. But don’t expect to buy life-sized dinosaur egg jawbreakers at WalMart just yet. Both Universal and Spielberg’s camp have stressed that there is not a script in the works as of now. These talks are purely exploratory and depend on concept and whether or not today’s audiences want to see Garret Dillahunt get eaten by raptors.

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Coolest. Raptor. Ever. http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/coolest-raptor-ever/ http://www.screenjunkies.com/movies/movie-news/coolest-raptor-ever/#comments Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000 Too smart for his own good. The bitches won't approve of that shirt.Go ahead and let these links in.Exclusive Interview: Writer of Pee-Wee Herman Movie (PopStrike)Hayden Christensen Sues USA Network (TVSquad)Anxiety may Be The Root Cause Of Religious Extremism(Asylum)Kevin Smith Gets The Last Laugh On Southwest Airlines (PopEater)Dave Chappelle Grounds Plane For Wanting To Take A Dump (FilmDrunk)9 Bands Names You Didn't Know Were Sexual (HolyTaco)Taking A Break From The Bloodbath (Unreality)25 Hottest Women From Paraguay (BroBible)Hollywood's Hottest Supervillianesses (Maxim)MMA And Sodomy Don't Mix (CagePotato)Anna Faris Naked Pictures (CelebJihad)8 Robots In Disguise (Smosh)Name That Seriously Random List(Pajiba)Hello, Beautiful Homeless Girl (Atom)Smell Like Bruce Willis (MadeMan)

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Too smart for his own good. The bitches won’t approve of that shirt.

Go ahead and let these links in.

Exclusive Interview: Writer of Pee-Wee Herman Movie (PopStrike)

Hayden Christensen Sues USA Network (TVSquad)

Anxiety may Be The Root Cause Of Religious Extremism(Asylum)

Kevin Smith Gets The Last Laugh On Southwest Airlines (PopEater)

Dave Chappelle Grounds Plane For Wanting To Take A Dump (FilmDrunk)

9 Bands Names You Didn’t Know Were Sexual (HolyTaco)

Taking Break From The Bloodbath (Unreality)

25 Hottest Women From Paraguay (BroBible)

Hollywood’s Hottest Supervillianesses (Maxim)

MMA And Sodomy Don’t Mix (CagePotato)

Anna Faris Naked Pictures (CelebJihad)

8 Robots In Disguise (Smosh)

Name That Seriously Random List(Pajiba)

Hello, Beautiful Homeless Girl (Atom)

Smell Like Bruce Willis (MadeMan)

 

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